Second Chances
by captain ty
Summary: Can you correct the mistakes if given another chance?
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers. However, the shop The Things I Love actually exists, except in a different place. The owner really is Joanna, a wonderful lady! A lady after my own heart, born just a few years too late! Also the theme style restaurants exist, just under different titles. I used this one for a bar.

Chapter 1

_Washington DC-2009_

She let her exhausted body sway with the metro train she was riding on. The twelve hour ER shift had been more grueling than usual, gunshots, car wrecks and the usual stupid people in the world. Now after all that she was standing, not one seat left, not that she'd expected any less with it being rush hour.

Glancing down at her watch she realized she would actually make it home in time to eat and watch television tonight. Since summer had arrived the long summer days made it possible for her to enjoy the late afternoon sun and still have the night to herself. Wrinkling her nose as the song changed on her iPod she quickly shuffled the music forward trying to ignore the stab of pain in her chest the last song brought.

Damian McAllister, surgeon of the universe, or that's at least how he thought of himself. When they'd met in medical school, they'd both enjoyed the sex as a respite from the long hours of studying and stress of making the next requirement. Sometimes during those late nights as they'd lie in each other's arms she wondered if they were together out of boredom or actual affection. She really shouldn't have been surprised last spring when she'd come home early to find him giving a physical to one of his surgical nurses in their bed.

Running her hand through her hair she knew she probably looked a mess, scrubs with blood on them, dark hair pulled back in a ponytail at the base of her neck, no make-up. Oh yes she was living up to the negative comments Damian had hurled at her when she found him in bed.

The vibrating at her hip had her pulling out of the negative thoughts and focusing on her electronic leash. Closing her eyes she let it vibrate a moment longer before reaching for the phone and pulling out an ear bud. "Williams."

The soft laughter that came through the phone actually had her muscles relaxing and a smile gracing her face. "You know girlfriend, if that's the way you answer that phone, no wonder men try to avoid you. Where the hell are you?"

"Shauna, its Friday night, where do you think I'm at? I'm riding the metro on my way home."

Shauna's deep chuckle came over the phone. No one with the exception of Jamie knew that Shauna really was a Shawn in the middle of his transition. Her voice slid through the phone deep and sultry. Oh yeah, Shauna was a walking talking sexual goddess. "Oh no you're not miss thing! You are not going to take that skinny ass home and sit tonight; I don't care how tired you are. You will get home, change clothes and I mean into something besides jeans and a t-shirt and you will bring your skinny ass to my house. We miss thing are going out tonight."

Jamie closed her eyes and tried to resist the urge to slam her head into the pole she was holding onto. "Shauna, you know I love you, but sweetie, twelve hours on my feet and now you want me to get dressed up and go out with you."

Across the line came a voice that was more Shawn than Shauna and immediately Jamie knew she'd lost the battle. "Oh listen here little girl, that's exactly why you need to go out. I know for a fact you're off all weekend and I'm tired of you sitting home with your two best friends, Ben and Jerry and moaning over Damian. Now, we are going to this hot new swing club, it's playing your type of music. I'll expect you here by eight. You're not here I'm coming after you."

The sound of a dropped call was the only indication she had that Shauna had issued her final word. Sighing she closed the phone and put it back into its holder at her hip. She knew Shauna was right; she had been moping at home for the last six months, desperately trying to forget the fact that the man she'd been in love with was nothing more than a womanizer. On the bright side she'd caught up on a lot of television, she'd watched the Sopranos, Band of Brothers all those mini-series she'd missed out on while in class.

Stepping off the metro into the damp evening she began her long walk to her town house near the Potomac River. The walk down King Street every evening seemed to lighten her spirits, the tourist and eclectic shops enticed her. There was one shop in particular that seemed to lure her in every day. The Things I Love was a shop that knew the way to her heart without even trying.

Shauna liked to tease her that she'd been born sixty years too late and that she should have been born in the forties. This comment had raised some discussion on reincarnation and other strange things, but part of Jamie always felt like she never belong here, like there was something or sometime waiting for her. The lady who owned the shop, Joanna had become fast friends and there was never a time she entered the shop that she didn't leave with at least one small thing.

"Jamie, it's good to see you." Joanna moved from behind the counter to pull her into a hug. "It's been too long, oh Shauna called and told me you would need some nice, how did she call it, oh yes, bling for tonight. I think I have the perfect thing."

Joanna held out a lovely necklace, not gaudy but defiantly a period piece. "Oh Joanna, where did you get this its perfect."

Joanna tapped her finger on the counter. "Well you know that's the strange thing about that piece. I didn't order it but it showed up a couple of days ago and then when I opened the box and saw it, well I knew it was for you."

Jamie held it up to her neck in front of the mirror and smiled, it was perfect and would look so nice with the outfit she had in mind tonight. Wincing she looked at the price tag and handed it back to Joanna. "Wow, it really is nice but you know I'm still trying to furnish my town house what with Damian taking everything."

Joanna pushed the necklace into her hand and smiled. "Consider this a gift from me to you, a gift to celebrate you finally going back out into the world of the single woman. Besides, who else would appreciate my love of the forties? Take it and have a good time tonight."

She held the necklace in her hand and ran a finger over the design. Something about it pulled her, sending a shiver down her spine she forced a smile. "Okay, thank you so much, it really is a lovely piece and I'm sure that Shauna will approve."

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When she unlocked the door and stepped inside she felt the same emptiness settle in her chest that had been there for months. Honestly, coming home to an empty house just reinforced how lonely she felt. Maybe she needed to get a pet, a cat or maybe a dog, something that would at least be happy when she came home. Shutting the door she headed upstairs to strip off the dirty scrubs and crawl into a steaming shower.

Sitting down the bag with the necklace in it, she felt drawn back to it, all most as if leaving it alone in the bedroom while she showered would be sacrilege. Shrugging she pulled the black bag out and dropped the necklace into her hand. Quickly securing it around her neck, she turned on her CD of big band music and headed for the shower. Reaching up she laid her hand on the necklace and felt that same tingle down her spine

Shrugging her shoulders she pushed the feeling away. She'd been working too many hours that had to be the explanation. Reaching up she undid her hair from the braid she always wore, letting it drop down her back, the dark color picking up almost blue highlights in the dim bathroom lights. Letting her eyes meet the ones reflected in the mirror she sighed, green, not jade green, not grass green, no unusual color of green just green. Doing the ocular cruise down the rest of her body she didn't feel disappointed. At 5'7 she was tall, with nice breast, tucked in waist and curvy hips. Yeah not too bad, the only thing was she was the only person appreciating it as of late.

Frown at where her thoughts were heading she pulled her eyes away from her reflection she looked up at the lights that suddenly seemed dimmer and added replacement of bulbs to her metal task list. That list was getting longer every day, but this task she'd finish this weekend.

The shower had been running for a good ten minutes while she stood staring at herself in the mirror, a mirror that was almost completely fogged over when she caught a movement from the corner of her eye. Gasping she turned around to find the doorway empty and nothing behind her. Walking to the bathroom door she peeked around the corner to find the bedroom empty. Shaking her head she stepped into the shower. Tired and overworked, that was the only explanation for what she thought she saw.

The hot water caressed her skin and muscles causing her to lean against the wall and sigh. Right then and there she made up her mind to stay there until the hot water ran out, and then she'd get dressed, and if she was a little late Shauna could just get over it. It was working out to be a marvelous plan, until she heard noise in the bedroom. Quickly shutting off the water she heard voices, low and hushed voices, but voices that very clearly belonged to men.

_Sir you have to let her go…there's nothing we can do she's gone._

_ No, she's still here I can feel her, you have to keep her…she's my life…Jamie…_

The cold shiver slide down her spine again and she swallowed hard. The voices had been low and garbled, as if a radio was playing somewhere and she was only catching the edge of the broadcast, but one thing came through loud and clear, the man had said her name. Laughing she picked up her towel and began to dry off, talking to herself, "Okay Jamie, you've been pushing herself too hard, too long, you're imagining things, get dressed and get out of here."

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She hadn't been late getting to Shauna's and she'd not even sat down before they were back outside hailing a cab. When they finally arrived Jamie had laughed and shook her head, "the 101st Aero Wing? That's a fabulous name."

Shauna shoved her out of the cab, "uh huh, I know. Now do I know what you like or do I know what you like."

Stepping inside Jamie gasp, it was like something out of her best fantasies. The inside was set up like a British fighter room, with tables scattered around, a dance floor in the center. The lighting was low, each table holding a small lantern. The menus were printed on news type that looked like official orders. The smoky room was more by a smoke machine carefully concealed than actual cigarette smoke; the waitresses all dressed either in nursing or period costumes. Finally reaching their table Jamie grabbed Shauna and lightly kissed her cheek, tears welling in her eyes. "Thank you for this, I…I don't know what else to say."

Shauna waved her away but dabbed on her own eyes. "Well you can thank me by getting your skinny ass out there later and dancing. I mean that is why we're here right? Have some fun shake our ass." Shauna smiled and dropped her attention back to the menu.

Jamie picked hers up as well and suddenly realized how ravenous she was. She couldn't even remember the last full meal she'd had.

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When they were finished eating they both remarked at how full the club had become and suddenly everyone was starting to dance. Shauna poked her in the ribs, "come on let's get out there."

"Oh well now that would raise some eyebrows, a white girl out there dancing with Sheba queen of the sexy jungle…no thanks, I don't want to compete with you for male attention."

Shauna snorted, "oh I don't think you are going to be competing with anyone today girl, you are looking fabulous. Lean over here and let me take a look at that necklace."

Leaning in she smiled, "isn't it the most gorgeous thing ever. Joanna has no idea where it came from but she said it would be perfect and it is."

When Shauna put her fingers under it to lift it up for a better look a shock transferred from it to her hand causing her to wince and pull back. Rubbing her fingers she frowned at the necklace. "Yeah, that's something all right. You said Joanna has no idea where it came from huh?"

Shaking her head she stroked across it with her fingers, feeling that same tingle down her spine, yet this time it seemed stronger, almost like the caress of fingers. "Uh, no she said it just showed up, but hey someone else's loss is my gain."

Before Shauna could make another remark a man appeared beside the table. "Ladies, you are both looking lovely could I interest you in a dance." He looked at both of them but his hopeful stare was focused on Jamie.

Shauna smirked and lifted her drink, slowly crossing her long legs. "Oh honey, I think you should."

Rolling her eyes Jamie took the man's hand and let him lead her out on the dance floor. When they first stepped on the floor a fast swing number was playing and Jamie gave herself over to the music, laughing and loving every minute. Yet when the slow song began to play she hesitated and almost pulled away.

"Jamie, please stay and dance. All we're doing is dancing; I don't bite, unless you want me too."

Smiling she let him pull her back to him and slowly turn around the dance floor. Glancing over his shoulder she had a clear view of the bar that had gotten progressively busier as the night aged. Near the back edge she caught a glimpse of a man in uniform, dark hair, broad shoulders, yet she couldn't make out anything else. Either the lighting was wrong or something wasn't right, because it almost seemed like he really wasn't there.

Twisting with every spin she tried repeatedly to get a better view of the man and no matter which way it turned, the view never improved. Clenching her hand in frustration she tried to wait patiently for the song to end and then she decided she would make her way over to demand why he was staring at her so hard. But as the song began to fade her temper also left her. It was silly really, the man was merely watching the dance floor, not staring at her. When the song ended she thanked her partner and made an excuse to head toward the bar.

She kept him in sight as she crossed the room, she could feel his eyes on her, the intensity seeping from them almost like a living thing caressing her skin. She was almost across the room when a waitress stepped in front of her blocking her path. Looking down to find another way around, she looked back up to find the man had disappeared. Continuing to that corner of the bar she stopped where she'd seen him last. The only thing left was a cold space, probably the air conditioning vent, and a half drunk glass of whiskey.

As she made her way back to the table she felt so stupid. She'd gone clear across the room on a hunch only to miss the guy by a few moments, but then again maybe he didn't want to meet her. Sighing she dropped back in her chair and looked at Shauna. "You know the strangest thing just happened. I spotted this guy at the bar while I was dancing and he was staring really hard. So when the music stopped I made my way over but when I got there he was gone."

Shauna snorted, "okay so why is that strange? It was a missed encounter is all, nothing strange and hey the nights young, he might have just gone to the bathroom."

"No, no there was something else, something that just didn't seem to fit." Rubbing her temples she tried to think of what it was. What had been different about this man that drew her attention? Suddenly her eyes popped up and she got to her feet spinning around taking in the entire room her mouth gapping open in shock. "Oh my god, I know what it was."

Sitting back in the chair she reached for Shauna's hand. "Look around the room; do you see anyone here wearing a uniform?"

Shauna shook her head no and Jamie smiled. "See that's what was different, he was wearing a uniform from the forties. I've only seen those in movies but that's what it was."

Shauna's eyebrows lifted and she glanced at her watch. "Yep, just as I suspected, it's really late, we need to get you home girlfriend, and you're starting to see things."

"What you don't believe me? 

"Jamie, it's not that I don't believe you, I just think you're tired and mistook some outfit for a uniform. Don't you think I'd have noticed something like that? I'm facing the bar and sweetie, there has not been a man wearing anything close to what you described standing there."

"Okay, you know maybe you're right, it's late, I just had a little too much to drink coupled with being exhausted. Okay yeah, let's head home, hey maybe we can do this again some time."

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Getting off the metro at King Street she began the long walk home, her feet killing her in the high heels, but she was floating on air by the time she let herself into the town house.

Kicking off her shoes and throwing clothes across the room she quickly got ready for bed. Reaching up she started to remove the necklace only to have every light in the house dim. As she slowly removed her hands from the necklace clasp the lights returned to normal brightness. "Okay, I got it. Leave the necklace on. Oh my God I must be drunk, I'm talking to nothing."

Crawling into bed she rolled to her side and gave a deep sigh. Closing her eyes she was drifting into a deep sleep with the feeling of arms wrapping around her caused her to moan and wiggle back into their warmth. The low radio voice caressed her senses as she dropped into sleep, calling her name.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 2

_She felt the night breeze ruffle her hair, the moon reflected off the lake shimmering like a thousand diamonds. Behind her she could hear him pacing. The anger and hurt were rolling off him in waves, seeming to raise the temperature in the room. Gripping the back of the chair harder, she let the ornate wood carving push deeper into her palms, anything to distract her from the fear coursing through her body. Fear was an old friend, but he'd never made an appearance when they were together, she'd never had a reason to fear him; until now._

_ Oh she knew the rumors of his temper, but she'd never seen it, yet now, as she listened to his boots beat a constant rhythm across the floor behind her, she felt her friend fear settle in like a weight on her stomach. The voice that came from behind her sounded so different than the low seductive sound it normally was when they were together._

_ "So you just expect me to believe what you say, no questions asked. Just like that, you're telling the truth."_

_ She refused to turn. Meeting that dark gaze would lead to madness, she pressed her hands harder into the wood, "have I ever given you reason to doubt me? Wait, I guess the first question I should ask is; you don't believe me?"_

_ The boots stopped their pacing; the silence seemed to breathe in the room like a presence waiting for acknowledgement. Then she heard his cold voice, the one that would utter the word that would shatter her world. "No."_

_ The boots moved toward the door and like punctuation at the end of a sentence the slamming of the heavy wooden portal closed the dialogue for good._

Jarring awake she grabbed her chest the tears rolling down her cheeks her breath coming in gasps. Clutching the sheets she threw them off and staggered from the bed, sobbing and trying to regain control of her emotions she slid to the floor.

What the hell was that? She'd never had a dream so vivid that she woke crying, ready to scream from the pain in her heart. Looking down she uncurled her hands, noticing that they were shaking, only to see the palms indented with a design that would match nothing in her house.

"Oh my God what is happening to me?" Looking up at the clock she saw that it was almost twelve. Not trusting her legs she crawled across the floor to the phone, pulling it down off the nightstand.

"Shauna I need you, something has happened. No I can't tell you over the phone. Okay twenty minutes." Severing the connection she sat and stared across the room not even noticing her hand reaching for the necklace.

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"Girl, what the hell did you drink before you went to bed last night? I mean I knew you were happy when we left the club but that dream, shit, that was just a little too realistic."

Jamie sat on the couch rocking back and forth holding the cup of tea Shauna had made, barely touched. How did you explain to your best friend that you were losing your mind? "Look, I've been drunk and that was no dream brought on by too much alcohol. I don't know how to explain it to you. The marks in my palms, didn't match anything in the house. I tried while I waited on you. Look we have to go back to the club tonight I feel the answer is there, just out of my reach."

Shauna nodded, "sure we can go back tonight and any night you want, but sweetie, I really think you should consider the fact that it was just a senseless nightmare and that maybe you grabbed a couple of things in the house, hell maybe you've started sleep walking. Yeah have you considered that in your possibilities?"

Jamie set the tea down and collapsed against the couch. "I'm losing my mind. Okay well watch what happens when I try to take the necklace off, just watch the lights." Reaching up she undid the necklace and removed it, the lights didn't even flicker. "No wait I don't understand, last night when I tried that the lights went completely dim like they were dying out…I don't understand."

"Come on, get in the shower and get dressed. Let's walk down the street and talk to Joanna, maybe she can trace the necklace. Honestly though, I just think you're overtired, but there is something a little off about that necklace so why don't you just put it back on."

She put the necklace around her neck and headed upstairs to take a shower. Once the water was coursing over her body she began to realize just how crazy she'd sounded to Shauna. Shaking her head she started to laugh, she really was losing her mind. Shutting off the water she reached for the towel only to hear that same low radio transmission she'd heard yesterday. Clutching the towel to her chest she stepped into the bed room holding her breath, waiting for the voices to become clear enough for her to hear.

_ "Sir, we've got to go, Grant still needs us, I'm sorry she was gone before they even brought her in. Sir, please."_

_ "I don't know what to do; you don't know what I said to her…"_

_ "Too late for that we've got to go sir. What's it going to be?"_

The transmission faded before she heard the rest. "Damn it to hell, why is this going on that I can hear conversations?" Grabbing up her jeans and t-shirt she realized that Joanna, whether she knew it or not, might hold the key.

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"Yes Joanna, I know exactly how crazy I sound right now, but I'm telling you there is something off about this necklace, can't you just try and put out some feelers to see where it might have come from."

Joanna frowned and reached for the necklace getting the same low level shock Shauna had gotten the night before. Jerking her hand back she rubbed the fingers together and looked at Shauna and then back at Jaime. "I can try sweetie, but honestly it's just a necklace and I'm inclined to agree with Shauna that maybe you've been working just a little too hard lately."

"Okay look, I'll give both you of the credit that yes I've been working more hours and yes I've been tired. But never and I do mean never have I heard voices. I can't explain how strange that is, it's like listening to a radio except you can't make the voices clear or come in any louder."

She watched as both women exchanged looks, rolling her eyes she threw up her hands. "Fine, I'm over tired. Shauna we'll go out tonight and have a good time and you're right, I probably just had a little too much to drink last night and well, I'll be more careful tonight."

While the other two women bought the story she was telling she knew deep down that she'd been fine when she got home and that something beyond explanation was going on here.

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"Will you stop staring at the bar; I told you last night, you must have been seeing things."

Jamie smiled at Shauna and glanced at her watch, midnight, the witching hour, if you believed in those things. "You're right; there is the guy I was with last night. I'll talk to you tomorrow I think tonight just might be my lucky night after all."

Bill pulled her out on the dance floor and they flowed together like water. He was a lawyer starting his own firm and had all the traits she enjoyed in a man. As the night progressed she even forgot her needless obsession to watch the bar until the cold shiver passed down her spine.

Glancing over at the bar she saw him. He was standing in the same corner, no more solid appearing than he had been last night. She knew he was staring directly at her, though she couldn't see his eyes or even his face, but the intense feeling of being watched didn't fade. Something about his presence the way he stood, disinterested in all around him drew her to him. She wanted to be with him, talk to him, and know him. Shaking her head she focused on the man whose arms she was in.

"So Jamie, would you like to get out of here?"

Smiling she pulled him close feeling his arousal tease her leg as she curled against him. "Hmm, that sounds like a wonderful idea."

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When she opened the door they nearly fell to the floor as they tried to keep their mouths fused together. She'd honestly forgotten what it felt like to be held and desired, but Bill was doing a fantastic job of making her remember. Breaking free of his mouth she grabbed his hand and pulled him up to the bedroom.

When they reached the room she turned on a corner light and wrapped herself back in his arms. Giving herself over to the passion she was feeling she rubbed against his arousal feeling the dampness between her legs soak her panties. "Bill, please we are way over dressed."

"Hmm, yeah right let me just…"

As he stepped away from her the lights went out. "Damn it to hell I've got to get the electrician in here to check for that short. Okay look you're closer to the hallway. Half way down there is a desk with some candles and matches in it would you mind getting them."

She heard his chuckle and he turned away. "Nope not at all, I think it would be much more romantic to make love by candle light any way."

The minute she heard his shoes step onto the hardwood in the hallway, the bedroom temperature dropped ten degrees, goose bumps breaking out along her arms. Rubbing her arms to keep warm she called out to Bill, "hey did it feel like it suddenly got colder in her to you?"

She never heard his response as an icy hand closed around her neck from behind, the thumb gently caressing the skin below her ear. The words spoken across her ear were nothing more than a cold breeze. _"Mine. You'll always be mine, get rid of him, or he might have an accident in that dark hallway."_

The body that pressed against her back was solid and freezing cold, the lips that caressed her neck heated her blood at the same time freezing her skin. "Yes, alright he'll be gone, just please turn the lights back on."

For a moment time froze, the thing at her back paused, pressing harder into her, the chuckle low and seductive. Finally the hand slowly released her neck, _"Anything for you Jamie."_ The lights flickered back on and she spun to look behind her only to see an empty bed.

Biting her lip to stop the hysteria creeping just below the surface she turned back to face Bill. "I'm really sorry about this but I'm suddenly feeling terrible. I think I might have eaten something that didn't agree with me, could you just let yourself out?" She watched the moment of frustration cross his face before he smiled and nodded.

"Sure I hope you'll feel better. Uh, maybe I'll see at the club."

She didn't wait to hear the lock turn downstairs but rushed into the bathroom and threw up. The fear of what'd just happened making her so sick she could barely stand. Flushing the toilet she managed to brush her teeth and stagger to the bed, only stopping to kick off her shoes. "Dear God, what is happening to me? I'm losing my mind."

_ The hand caressed her scalp, his fingers twining into her hair pulling her head back into his shoulder exposing her neck. He kissed her neck and began to nibble his way up to her ear. "Put your hands on the wall and don't move."_

_ His body pressed into her back, his warmth surrounding her. Closing her eyes she sighed as he bit her neck, tugging lightly at her hair. "God I've missed you Jaime, oh baby I know this will be quick and I promise soon, so very soon I'll make it up to you baby."_

_ The cold air swirled around her legs and he dropped her pants, his hand stroking her between her legs, this time her moan echoed in the small room. "Oh god, please I need you now."_

_ She felt his dick slide between her legs from behind, not entering her but stroking her clit with the tip of his cock. "Say it Jaime, say what I need to hear."_

_ "I'm yours, always yours, forever." The last word was screamed as he shoved inside her, driving her closer to climax._

_ "You're right, you're mine and I'm yours baby, forever."_

The shrilling of the alarm jerked her awake, the throbbing between her legs causing her to curse and knock the alarm off the table. Dropping back onto the pillows she tried to control the raging frustration she felt. "Well whoever you are the least you could've done was to finish the wet dream, now I get to spend the day horny. Thanks mystery man."

Groaning she rolled out of the bed and headed for the shower it was going to be a long day.

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Three weeks later Jaime found herself exhausted and strung out. The dreams had escalated, and the mystery man was never kind enough to let her climax, but he was definitely a hell of a lover, better than her current life had ever been. She'd done her best to avoid Shauna; she wasn't ready to share her craziness with the rest of the world.

"Damn girl, you look like shit. You do know what sleep is for right? You know relaxing and making you look better."

Pushing her food across the plate she glared at Shauna, "damn you are so funny I forgot to laugh. Yes I know what it's for and believe it or not, I do sleep every night, it's just…"

"Let me guess you're still having those crazy dreams aren't you? Look, how about you come to my house tonight; maybe if you have a change of scenery you'll feel better."

Jaime shrugged, "sure why not. I mean maybe you're right because right now I'm convinced either my house is haunted or I'm being haunted. This nightmare, day mare has been going on for the last three weeks. The voices the dreams…well I'm not really complaining about the dreams but…I've got to sleep. I'm on edge and that's not a safe place for an ER doctor to be."

Shauna patted her hand. "Okay I'll swing by your place and pick up a bag for you. You come straight to my house and you'll be okay I promise."

"I can't thank you enough; you are too good to me." Her eyes had welled with tears and she quickly tried to wipe them away.

"Sweetie its okay, this will pass, you need sleep and well take a couple of days off, please."

Jamie nodded, "yeah okay I'll do that." She jumped slightly when the pager at her hip went off. "Damn gun shot on the way, got to run sweetie I'll see you tonight."

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The ER was humming when she came in; the man was on the gurney, his blood falling to the floor. Moving up beside the gurney she looked at the lead nurse. "Okay what do we have?"

"Alright, twenty-four year old male, pulled from the Potomac River, three gunshot wounds, one shoulder, one chest and one in the leg. None appear to be fatal; he's had two shots of morphine and one bullet still lodged in the leg."

Grabbing the scissors she bent over his leg and began to cut his pants off so she could expose the wound enough to retrieve the bullet. The wet smell of river caused her to pause and look up at the man's face. Dark hair plastered to his head, the strong curve of his jaw stirred something familiar in her chest. Laying the scissors down she stepped around the gurney to take a better look at the man. His full lips were slightly blue, almost as if he'd been in freezing water instead of the warm water of the Potomac.

Closing her eyes she grabbed the edge of the gurney as the world began to spin around her. Something wasn't right here. _Nurse, we need a nurse here. The Lieutenants been shot, he was trying to swim back across the river. The damn Germans shot him, come on you've got to help him. _Her eyes snapped back open and for one shocking second the man on the gurney was in uniform, the medics moving around her to cut it off.

"Doctor Williams are you okay? Doc, come on let's sit you down for a minute you're looking a little pale."

She let herself be pushed down on a rolling stool and blinked her eyes hard trying to clear the vision. Glancing back at the man on the gurney she saw his hair was actually a dirty blonde and as it dried was changing color from the dark color it had been only moments ago.

Pushing back to her feet she bent to the task of removing the bullet from the man's leg. Accomplishing her task she didn't bother to look at him again, instead she left the ER and head for the Chief's office. Whatever had just happened had convinced her she had to have some time off, because she really was losing her mind.


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 3

Shauna leaned back in the chair and lit a cigarette. The light in the room was diffused as it came through the rain covered windows, broken only by the occasional streak of lightening. The last thing she'd expected in the middle of a thunder storm was to find Jamie soaked to the skin standing on her doorstep. After grabbing towels and an old blanket she sat her on the couch, pouring her a glass of bourbon which was drunk quickly and replaced with a second that now rested in Jamie's less than steady hands.

"Okay so let me see if I understand what happened. A young man came in with multiple gunshots, and he'd been fished out of the Potomac. While in the process of treating him, you blacked out or something and thought he was someone else and you were someone else and you were both somewhere else. Am I getting this?"

When Jamie raised her eyes to meet Shauna's they were steady and calm, "yes that's correct, but it was more like we were some 'time' else, it wasn't the present, and it was a completely different time. Before we start to really talk about this, you've known me a long time. You know that I don't over react to things and that I think there is always an explanation for something, but right now…I don't have a good answer. Shauna there is only a couple of possible explanations here." Slowly taking sip from the glass she looked back at Shauna "let me start by asking you something, have you ever seen me drink whiskey?"

She frowned at the glass and then her friend, "no, not that I recall but something about the situation seemed to call for whiskey I didn't even think when I poured it."

Jamie waved her words away, "you're missing the point, I'm drinking it and honestly for the past month or so that's all I've wanted. Hey let me get a cigarette from you."

Shauna lit one and handed it over looking even more puzzled, "I thought you didn't smoke."

"I don't." Yet she took a drag like someone who'd been smoking all their lives. "See, just another thing, I never smoked, yet I picked the habit up like I'd been doing it since I was ten years old. Next item on the list, take a good look at me. I'm past exhausted, my sleep is haunted by a man I've never seen, his words disturb me more than I can explain, hell he's threatened the man I brought home and well…I beginning to doubt everything around me."

Shauna blew a smoke ring and watched it drift to the ceiling trying to listen and digest her friends words. Oh she knew there was something going on; she'd never seen Jamie look this bad, even during the break up with Captain Marvelous. Her eyes were sunken and the circles under her eyes had gone from dark to purple. The woman was afraid to be alone in her own home. "Okay, let's say you're right and you or your house is being haunted. Honestly sweetie how long has this been going on?"

"The night we went to the 101st club. It all started with me hearing the voices. The ones I told you sound like a radio you just couldn't quiet tune in, well over the last month they've gotten worse, the sexual dreams, while very good, are very unfulfilling. I don't even know the man's name, nor have I even gotten a good look at his face, but every time I dream of that room, I'm afraid of him. I also know that me being afraid of him is something that's not normal. Something very bad was happening between them that night and well she was afraid and he was beyond angry. He was homicidal." Dropping her head back on the couch she finished the drink and crushed out the cigarette. "What am I going to do?"

Shauna sighed, "look it's still early I want you to go upstairs and lie down. Then we'll go to dinner. Trust me you'll feel better after you sleep."

Getting up Jamie slowly walked up stairs and collapsed on the bed, praying that this time there would be no dreams.

_He was sitting at the desk with his back to her; she'd been trying to catch him alone for days. Waiting for just the right moment to tell him, keeping her secret, her heart beat harder and she crossed the room and ran her hands down his chest, leaning in to drop a kiss on his cheek._

_ "What do you want, I'm busy."_

_ She pulled away from his gruff response to her presence but forced a smile and continued on, moving to lean against the desk so she could see his face. "Well I've been trying to catch you alone for the last few days; I need to tell you something, something that I hope you'll be excited to hear."_

_ When he leaned back in the chair to look at her she shivered at the dead look in his dark eyes. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. "Is everything okay?"_

_ "Fine, get on with it; I've got work to do."_

_ "Okay well, I wasn't sure until a few days ago when Doc Read confirmed it, but I'm pregnant. Three months."_

_ She gasped at the speed he moved with and when he grasped her arms she cried out in pain, the bruises would still be there in the morning. "You fucking lying whore. Did you think I wouldn't know what you did? Did you think I didn't see what you were doing?"_

_ The hard shove pushed her into the corner of a desk near the window causing her to cry out in pain. "What the hell are you talking about?" She was afraid, she'd never been afraid of him, but something about him was dangerous and the fact she was a woman, even that she was his woman, wouldn't save her._

_ The sound of the boots pacing across the floor echoed in the small room. "Don't play me for a fool you whore. I know…I know everything."_

_ Turning she faced out the window, the moon reflecting off the water like diamonds glittering in the sun…._

Gasping she sat up in bed and looked around. The storm had passed and the light reflected the dying sun. Now she knew why she was afraid of him. Something that should have been a happy moment had led to nothing but anger and distrust. Pushing off the bed she dropped her scrubs and headed to the bathroom turning on the water to let it heat.

The voices came, as they always did after a dream, low and barely clear enough to make out what they were saying.

_You sure you want to ride out with us? Well be gone a couple of hours, what's the Captain say about that?_

_ "I don't care what he thinks or says I've got to get out of here for a while. Look all I want to do is ride out with you and then back, what's the big deal."_

_ "Fine, get in, but remember if I get in dutch with the Captain, you take up for me."_

She reached up grasping the necklace, caressing the design with her fingers. Something terrible had happened that night, it was only a matter of time before all the pieces came together and she was afraid, something so bad had happened that it was now replaying, in another time.

Stepping into the shower she closed her eyes and tried to relax, she had a week to figure out what was going on so she needed to get all her senses back and work through the puzzle a piece at a time.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Oh yeah I forgot to tell you, Joanna called and she thinks she might have tracked down at least the first source of the necklace."

Jamie lowered her head and glowered at Shauna across the table, "so you just thought you'd let something as important as that slip you mind. Damn what did she say?"

"Well it seems that the piece was sold as a side item at an estate auction by a Mrs. Grace Nixon. Apparently the woman had the necklace for some time and recently decided it was time to get rid of it."

Jamie's face brightened, "great did she get the information on the woman?"

"Yeah she did and she called Mrs. Nixon who explained that the necklace had actually belonged to her husband's first wife and that when she was killed in a car accident in 1950, her husband kept it. Apparently the necklace had originally belonged to his first wife's friend. She was killed in an accident in 1945. She told Joanna that her husband would never say more than that except that it was a real tragedy the way the first owner died. Apparently Grace respected her husband's secrecy, because he died in 1995 and she has no idea more than what she told Joanna about the necklace. Oh she did add that she never liked it, and that every time she'd tried to wear it a feeling of overwhelming sadness came with it."

Jamie dropped her head into her hands, "damn, well all we know about this thing is that it's belonged to two dead women and that apparently bad things happened to both of them."

Shauna laughed, "well now isn't that just the kind of thing that Stephen King would go wild with, especially since next week is September, only one month away from Halloween. Maybe it's not so bad to be haunted and technically you're not haunted the necklace is."

"Yeah easy for you to say, you can take off whatever you wear, me…I tried to take the necklace off and the power went off until I put it back on. I'm telling you, the damn necklace is haunted and it has something to do with me, not just the necklace…hey lets go to the 101st on Friday, I feel like dancing."

"What's wrong with you now girl, have you made peace with your ghost?"

Jamie laughed and lifted her whiskey toasting Shauna, "yes I have and who knows, maybe the mystery man will finish one of those dreams because let me tell you…the man is hot."

xxxxxxxxx

The summer was coming to a close and September arrived warmer than expected, the fall leaved chasing themselves down the street with the late evening breeze.

Jamie stopped, closing her eyes and inhaling the smell that was fall, burning leaves, crisp nights. The dream and voices had dropped off since the week she'd spent at Shauna's, and while she was grateful to be sleeping again she had to admit, she'd missed her mystery man in those hot erotic dreams.

Stepping into her town house she reached for the light switch only to find that it wouldn't work. "Oh come on you've got to be kidding me, what the hell." Stomping upstairs in the dark, she moved to the table she'd last seen the candles in and began to rummage around. "Damn, they were in here just a month ago."

The noise from the bedroom had her dropping the candle, the hand it'd been it suddenly going numb. Swallowing hard she started up the stairs to the bedroom, picking up the baseball bat that she kept for just these type of incidents. "Hello, who's there? I've got a gun."

When she reached the doorway, the room was lit with the fading light of day, casting shadows, but one thing struck her as odd, the room was ten degrees cooler than the rest of the house. "Oh no you don't, I feel you and I don't know who you are or why you're here, but there is no way I'm coming in there. Besides where the hell have you been lately?"

She shook her head and laughed, "my God I've officially gone off the deep end, I'm having a conversation with something or someone that's not really there fan-fucking –tasic."

_"Jamie, I won't hurt you, but please come in, you need to know the ending."_

Dropping the bat against the door she stepped into the room, feeling the temperature drop even further. "Okay so other than trying to freeze me, what do I need to know?"

_"When you wake up, you'll understand."_

The cold hand caressed her face and her eyes closed, her knees losing their ability to support her weight. Damn, she recognized the signs of passing out right before her body hit the floor.

_"So he jumps out of the bushes and pushes his bayonet against the guys throat screaming 'who's side you on.' It was none other than second's own Wild Bill Guarnere."_

_ She let Grants voice float around her and smiled. She remembered that story; it was one that Toye never let Bill forget. The replacements were eating it up and she had to smile at their attention. They'd missed the war, only to show up for the best duty ever…occupation duty in Austria._

_ "What the hell is this?"_

_ She looked forward to see a couple of jeeps stopped in the middle of the road, a lone soldier standing over what looked like three bodies. Something about this situation screamed get the hell out, instead Grant was getting out and approaching the soldier._

_ Before any of them could react the soldier had raised his .45 and shot Grant. "No, what are you doing?" She jumped from the jeep; her sole focus was to help Grant. She hadn't made it three steps when the sound of a pistol discharging sounded again and the burning pain in the center of her chest had her dropping to her knees._

_One of the new soldiers stood over her, his face white as a sheet; she had to make him understand. "Tell him…tell him I'm sorry. Oh God Ron…"_

She jerked awake screaming on the rug, her chest burning with a pain that should have long since passed and the name of a man she'd never met still on her lips.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Holy cow she was killed, you saw it, you felt it? My God, but on the bright side you know his name."

Jamie rolled her eyes, only Shauna would think knowing the mystery man's name was a good thing. They decided to go back to the 101st club for dinner and dancing. She'd been reluctant to tell Shauna the latest but it made for an interesting story. Sighing she signaled for another drink, "well you're right, I know his name was Ron and well the whole thing about it being an accident she died in…well that was true, if what I saw and felt is a replay, then yeah, she shouldn't have been there."

Shauna's eyes narrowed and her lips slid into a sly smirk, "so the mystery man hasn't returned to explain the argument? That's a little strange don't you think?"

"Yeah well I thought about that, I know that he was very upset over her being pregnant and for some reason he didn't believe her…I don't think I'll ever know that part. You know it's really sad, I get the feeling that she loved him above anything and that in the end he truly realized how much he loved her. Wow, funny how one moment in time can change the course of a life."

"Girl I'm telling you, you need to contact Stephen King and the two of you need to go in together on a story…you'll both get rich. Well know hello white boy…here comes you latest real life interest."

Glancing over her shoulder she saw Bill walking toward them a smile on his face. She couldn't help but smile back, "Bill it's good to see you, how have you been?"

Bill cast a smile at both of them but his eyes only looked at Jamie, "well I'm better now that I see you again. So what do you say, want to dance?"

Feeling lighter than she had in months she nodded, "of course."

As Bill spun her across the dance floor she closed her eyes and enjoyed the music, forgetting the dreams the possible haunting. This was what mattered; here and now.

When the music slowed Bill pulled her close in a slow dance and she dropped her head onto his shoulder. Closing her eyes she relished the moment of being held close, the warm smell of his cologne soothing her senses. She was almost relaxed when the cold feeling passed over her. Slowly lifting her head she looked at the bar and gasped.

This time he was solid, his dark slicked down hair gleaming in the dim lights. The cock of his head told her he was amused and when he moved to take another drink from the glass, she saw the smirk cross his sensual lips. His dark eyes met hers from across the room and she felt his gaze as clearly as if he'd reached out and caressed her skin.

Pulling back, she began to stutter, "oh Brian I have to go, I just got a page and well can you pass on my emergency to Shauna." Pulling her hand free she ran for the door, knowing he was behind her somewhere, he'd truly never left.

When she reached the door she quickly ran to the nearest metro station trying to ignore Bill's yells from behind her. She was almost there when the lights around her dimmed and the cold hand grabbed her arm pulling her into a solid body, the cold causing her teeth to chatter. 

_"Get rid of him, you really don't want to know what I'll do if he touches you again."_

She forced herself to look up; the eyes that met hers reflected the fires of hell and yes she didn't want to know what would happen if Bill touched her.

Spinning around she screamed at him, "leave me alone. Don't you get it I'm not interested, stop following me." Not waiting she ran up the stairs as she heard the train approach, barely jumping on board before the doors slammed closed.

Leaning heavily against the pole she tried to catch her breath. The ride was rougher than normal, the driver seeming to hit the brakes harder than he should. "Damn just what I need, a metro driver in training."

_"I'm sorry it has to be this way Jamie, please forgive me."_

She screamed but this time, not from the man suddenly appearing in front of her, but from the brakes slamming them to a halt and the screeching sound of metal collapsing on itself. The feeling of her body slamming into a solid object caused her to scream again, but this time in pain before she lost consciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 4

_Chilton Foliat-1943_

"Come on sweetie open your eyes, you're starting to scare me. Damn it Jamie you need to wake up I know your head is harder than that."

She knew that voice, but why was Shauna so worried. It was only a metro accident, she was fine, her head hurt, but her ribs hurting actually had her more concerned. Damn metro drivers…forcing her eyes open she was blinded by the light coming from behind the person talking to her and had to lift a hand to try and block it.

"Hey Doc, close the blinds I think the light is hurting her head."

As the room became dim she slowly opened her eyes trying to focus on the voice next to her. The voice sounded like Shauna, but how did she get her so fast and how long ago had the accident occurred. Swallowing she forced the words past her dry throat, "Shauna is that you?"

"Praise be, yeah sweetie it's me. Now just take your time, you hit your head really hard. We weren't sure that we'd be able to stop the bleeding but finally it did. How are you feeling?"

"My head and ribs hurt. How many others are hurt?"

The silence to her question had her forcing her eyes open. The woman sitting next to the bed was white and had blond hair frizzing around her pale face. "What the hell is going on…you're not Shauna!" She tried to sit up only to be pushed back down by the woman calling herself Shauna and the man on the other side of the bed.

"See Doc, I told you she was going crazy, she's been talking about something called a metro and she keeps asking me why I'm white. I think she hit her head harder in that last jump that we thought."

Jamie had never screamed in her life, but she felt a scream of hysteria bubbling just below the surface. "Okay, so let me see if I can understand this…I hit my head really hard right?"

"Right, you must have hit a tree, the bleeding had us concerned."

She released a sigh and closed her eyes. "Okay, I hit a tree hard, massive bleeding, I'm pretty sure my ribs are bruised as well and okay I got that. Those are injuries that are to be expected. Now just tell me which hospital I'm at and well go from there."

She heard the muffled voices and finally felt a soft cool hand brush across her forehead. "Sweetheart, you're at Chilton Foliat the same place you've been for the last month. Honey where do you think you are?"

Jamie opened her eyes and looked at the woman who was calling herself Shauna. Platinum blonde hair, dark brown eyes and a figure to die for encased in regulation uniform. Taking a deep breath she swallowed the scream that was scratching at her throat. "Okay, I've to a couple of questions. The first is what do I look like?"

The woman who was calling herself Shauna laughed, "same as you did before the jump, well expect for the huge bruise on your forehead. You are so lucky that was our last jump…"

"Shut up; tell me what I look like."

"Well all right no need to get huffy. You've got dark green eyes and black hair. You're a little pale now but once you recover…"

"Okay now on to the second question…what year is this?"

The Shauna want-a-be exchanged looks with the man on the other side of her, the man shrugged and the Shauna want-a-be nodded, "its 1943, you've not slept that long."

This time she did scream and continued screaming right up to the point, they pumped her body full of something that knocked her out. Her last conscious thought was that maybe she'd wake back up where she should be.

_"Holy cow that's Doc Williams, Jesus, she's not going to make it. Severe head trauma, ribs crushed, broken leg and appears to be internal bleeding."_

_ She listened to them describe her injuries and even she only gave her a ten percent chance of living. She wanted to fight, she was desperate to live._

_ "Jamie, stop it. Let go, trust me, this is our one and only chance, if you die here it's all over. Once in a life time baby, I'll be waiting, just let go."_

_ "God damn it she's coding we have to move, we're going to lose her. Come on Doc hang on just a little longer…"_

The sunlight was burning through her closed lids. She didn't want to wake up, she was confused and to be honest she wasn't sure where the hell she was going to wake up. The last dream had been just a little too real. Slowly opening her eyes, she saw the wooden rafters above her head and the scratchy wool blanket covering her. Something wasn't right; why was the ceiling made of wood. Slowly turning her head she saw the Shauna of now sitting next to her bed. Okay, so Shauna was white but that honestly seemed to be the only difference. Closing her eyes again she rubbed her face and encountered the bandage covering her forehead. Wincing she dropped her hands and moaned.

"Oh you're awake, uh are you feeling better? I really don't want to knock you out again."

"No, I'm okay, sorry for scaring you I just think I hit my head harder than I thought, so can you just catch me up?"

Shauna's hesitant smile brightened and she scooted closer to the bed, "well lucky for you that was the last jump to be qualified. I personally couldn't have stayed here for another jump, and the good news is the 101st Airborne only arrived at Aldbourne last week, bring with it a lot of yummy new men to pick from."

Despite the pain in her chest she laughed, "okay well glad I wasn't the cause of you staying here longer. The 101st huh? Well you're right that should be interesting. Look I'm really sorry for scaring you, but I think I scared myself I was having the strangest dream and that probably caused me to be a little nutty."

Smiling Shauna patted her hand. "Look you rest here, I'll go pack up our things and by the time the trucks arrive at three I'll have sweet talked that doctor into releasing you."

"Okay I'll stay here until you come for me." Reaching up she went to rub the necklace that had been around her neck for the last six months. "Oh my God I've lost it, where the hell is it, Shauna, where's my necklace."

Shauna paused at the door frowning. "Honey, you've never worn a necklace I have no idea what you're talking about."

When she was alone again she rubbed the empty spot around her neck. She didn't like the implication of the necklace being gone and she was suddenly in 1943. Closing her eyes she moaned, this couldn't be good for anyone.

****

_Aldbourne_

"Oh please Jamie, you have to go with me, I really want you to meet him, and he said he would bring a friend."

Glancing over her shoulder at Shauna, she shook her head. That had remained the same, Shauna loved men. "I'll think about it okay. I'm still having headaches and I'm not sure I want to spend the night in a crowded noisy pub."

"Wow, you still shouldn't be having headaches; I mean it's been over a month since the accident. You sure you weren't hurt worse than you were letting on."

"I'm positive, and I didn't say it hurt all the time, I just said I was having headaches more than I should. Look I promise to be there tonight, just give me a few hours okay?"

Shauna eyed her with suspicion and for a moment she didn't think the woman believed her but then she nodded, "okay then seven, the "Nag's Head" don't be late."

When she was sure Shauna was gone, she sat down in a chair and dropped her head into her hands. No her head didn't hurt all the time, only when she had dreams from her former life, or at least that's how she liked to call it now. She only remembered parts of the life now and to be honest it really did seem like a dream. In the month since they'd returned from jump training she kept herself isolated and focused on fitting in.

So far, her plan had worked and while she found it easy to fit in, she found that what she remembered from her former life was fading, to include what she knew of this one. Rubbing her head, she tried to relax her muscles, wishing she'd stayed alive just a little longer, if nothing else just to figure out the missing piece of the puzzle.

"Excuse me, you a nurse?"

Looking up she forced a smile, "yes I am what can I do to help you?"

xxxxxxxxxx

"Where is she Shauna, you said she'd be here."

"I know what I said and she will be here, she's only a few minutes late, besides, you're friend isn't here yet either." Shauna held back a frustrated sigh and focused on the door. Tapping her fingers on the table, she began to think of the things she was going to say when Jamie finally showed up. A warm hand covering hers stopped the tapping and drew her attention back to the man next to her.

"I'm sorry, I know she'll be here Lew, it's really not like her…oh there she is."

Jamie smiled, waved, and began to weave her way through the crowd. Finally dropping into an empty chair she gave Shauna a weak smile, "I'm really sorry, but we had a couple of guys come in needing stitches, apparently they thought driving a motorcycle across country would be a good idea."

"No problem, you're date isn't here." Continuing as if she didn't notice Jamie's mouth had suddenly gapped open, "Jamie, this is Lewis Nixon, Lew this is my best friend Jamie Williams. Be nice to her, she'll be going with the 101st so you'd hate to have her mad at you."

Jamie turned her attention away from Shauna and smiled at Lew reaching across to take his hand. "Hi, nice to meet you finally, Shauna has been talking about you quite a bit, oh and before you ask it's all good."

Lew laughed and took her hand. "Well then might I add that you are just as lovely as she described. Even more so I'd say."

Shauna nudged him in the ribs, "hey, I know you weren't just flirting with another woman right in front of me were you?"

He rubbed his ribs where her elbow had made contact, "oh no, I'd never do that, well would you look at that, there's Dick, hey Dick over here."

Jamie glanced at the man Lew had hailed. Tall with vivid blue eyes and deep auburn hair he was a very striking man and low and behold he was getting ready to sit next her. Not waiting for Lew to introduce them she turned a bright smile on him, holding out her hand, "hi, I'm Jamie."

Dick took her hand gently in his, "Dick Winters, you must be the lady that Lew was excited for me to meet."

"Yes, that would be me. So uh would you like to dance?"

Dick raised an eyebrow at how forward she was and then he smiled. "I'd love to."

Moving out to the dance floor she gave him a shy smile, "I'm sorry, normally I'm not that forward, but I know that Lew and Shauna would have pushed us out here anyway and well…"

"You hate being pushed."

"Exactly." She said with a bright smile. "Look, she means well, but honestly, I'm not sure that having relationships in the middle of a war is such a great idea."

Dick nodded, "actually I couldn't agree more. I'm impressed; you have to be the most level headed woman I've met yet. Nothing against your friend, but uh does she know he's married?"

She chuckled, "oh yeah she knows and told me not to worry about it, she has it under control, oh and Dick, don't think I'm too level headed, I might not have met the right man yet to make me crazy."

Dick leaned back and studied her for a moment. "Hmm, there is something about you that doesn't seem as fickle as the other ladies around here, you're more like those women in the classical romances, and you seem to know the ending before the stories written."

She staggered against him, her mouth dropping open, "what makes you say something like that?" She could feel it building inside her; she was one-step away from a panic attack.

He gave a negligent shrug, "I don't know, you just seem calmer and more focused about things around you that's all."

She let him lead her back to the table and only gave half her concentration to the conversation flowing around her. Did she look that different? For that matter, did she act different? Shauna had mentioned she seemed more reserved since her accident; maybe that's what everyone was picking up on.

"Hey you still with us?"

She glanced over at Shauna, working hard to focus, "uh yes, I'm fine, guess I just drifted there for a moment. What was the question?"

Shauna shook her head and looked at Lew, "see this is what I'm talking about. She just drifts off at the strangest times. I really think she hit her head harder than we thought." Turning her exasperated expression to Jamie, "I asked what you wanted to drink. Lew is heading to the bar."

"Uh yeah whiskey is fine; hey give me one of your cigarettes."

Leaning back, she took a draw from the cigarette, glancing around the room. It was very crowded and she could barely even spot Lew standing at the bar. Watching as he picked up the drinks, she noticed he said something to someone off to his right and turned to head back their way. Leaning to the side she tried to see who he was talking to and could only catch a glimpse of someone.

Standing she stepped forward and met Lew half way, "here let me help you." Turning she sat down the glasses and moved towards her chair only to freeze. The cold tingle crept down her spine and caused the hair on her neck to stand on end. Trying to calm her suddenly racing pulse, she fought with herself not to turn around. Somehow, she just knew what was causing this. The fear of finally seeing him in real life coursed through her body. It was a losing battle, they were meant for each other, but what if she could make him go away? What if there was a way to make him not like her, then the only risk she would run is not falling in love.

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw him, leaning against the bar, nonchalantly watching the crowd, or more precisely watching her. Turning she took a moment to really look at him. The images of him in her dreams did nothing for the real man. Tall around six feet, broad shoulders, dark hair, and the fullest lips she'd ever seen on a man. She couldn't help but stare and when he smiled at something someone said she had to grab the chair behind her to support her weak knees. Damn but he was gorgeous, what the hell would he possibly see in her.

While she was trying to figure it out, his dark eyes turned toward her and held her in the power of his gaze, his lips sliding into a warm smile that had her thoughts turning to a more erotic venue.

"I've got to get out of here…oh I'm sorry I have to go…uh I just remembered…" She turned and quickly moved towards the door ignoring Shauna's shouts for her to stop. Rushing out into the cool night air, she gasped and let the cool breeze soothe her heated flesh. Slowly turning toward the house she was staying in she realized it was going to be harder to stay away from him than she'd thought.

xxxxxxxxx

Dick looked over at Shauna concerned that Jaime had practically run screaming from the building. "Do you think one of us should go after her?"

Shauna shook her head, "no, I'll talk to her later. See this is what I was talking about; she's just been so different. I have no idea what that was about."

"Nixon, Winters. I hope I'm not interrupting."

"No Ron, what can we do for you?"

"I was wondering who the lady was that you were dancing with? That is if I'm not intruding."

Dick shook his head, "no, not intruding, we only met tonight. Her name is Jaime she's a nurse at the hospital."

Ron nodded, "good, well I'll leave you folks alone. Good night."

Ron made his way outside and looked down the road toward town. It was completely empty, she certainly had moved fast. Smiling he slowly began walking back to the house he was quartered in. Tomorrow was another day, and he'd have to stop by the hospital to check out the facilities of course.


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 5

"Oh dear lord, you look terrible are you sick, is that why you left so quickly last night? Are the headaches back; is there something I could do?"

With every question Shauna asked Jamie winced. Her head was pounding and she looked terrible because she hadn't been to sleep. She had paced the confines of her small room and went through and entire pack of cigarettes while she racked her brain about what to do about him. Taking the offered cup of coffee she slowly sat down behind the desk. "Uh okay let me see if I can answer all those, uh, no I'm not sick, just very tired, the headache is back and other than lowering the tone of your voice, no there is nothing you can do."

Shauna sat across from her wearing a sheepish smile, this time her voice several decibels lower, "I'm sorry sweetie, look you stay here and do paperwork and I'll take care of everything else. I'm going to get you a couple of aspirin, it couldn't hurt."

Jamie sat rubbing her temples and trying not to think about anything. Well except making, her head stop throbbing. The touch of a hand on her shoulder caused her to jerk her head up, which in turn elicited a moan.

"I'm sorry sweetie; I didn't mean to startle you. Here are the aspirin, oh and you did leave a little too early last night. Seems that someone is very interested in you, he stopped by the table to ask about you after you left, his name is Ron and he is very handsome."

When Shauna said his name, Jamie choked on the water she'd been drinking coughing she tried to clear her throat. "What do you mean asked about me?" She finally managed to wheeze the words past her closed throat.

"Yeah he basically asked Dick if you two were an item, of course Dick said no and well he said he might stop by to meet you today."

The pounding in her head increased to migraine proportions. She couldn't meet him; she just couldn't, not with her senses in the gutter. Racking her brain, she tried to think of way to get out of here and latched onto the idea of puking when Shauna gasped.

"Well what do you know, here he comes now."

Turing to look out the window she saw him walking toward the hospital and suddenly she felt as if they had locked eyes through the window. Even though that couldn't be possible due to the angle of the sun, he must have felt the same jolt because his stride stuttered for a moment and a puzzled expression crossed his face.

"Oh my god," Jamie quickly scanned the room for a way out. He was moving too quickly for her to escape out through the hospital, the office they were sitting in only had one way in, and one way out, but what it did have was a broom closet. Jumping up she grabbed Shauna by the upper arms pulling her to her feet. "Listen to me and you listen good, I'm going into that broom closet and you will not I repeat you will not tell him I'm here. Tell him I'm sick, that I'm dead, I don't care but I will not stay here and talk to him. When he's gone I'll try to explain."

Shauna winced and nodded her head, "okay whatever you say, just please let go of my arms you're hurting me."

"I'll hurt you a lot worse if he finds out I'm in there." Releasing Shauna to drop back into the chair, she quickly moved to the closet and squeezed inside. There wasn't much room but if she sat and the floor and pulled her legs up she was able to sit with her chin resting on her knees. Closing her eyes, she tried to brace herself for the sound of his voice, knowing the affect it was probably going to have on her.

The sound of boots coming down the hall sent a jolt through her body, she knew who it was, and she recognized the sound from the dreams, the same steady rhythm, coming closer with every step.

"Hello, Shauna, I did get the name right?"

The minute he spoke her body began to shake, tears leaking unbidden from her eyes. The sound of his voice was much more seductive in person that in the dreams. The emotions raging through her body confused her. Part of her wanted to crawl further into the closest to ensure he never found her, but another part wanted to throw open the door and rush into his arms.

He was asking questions about her and she bit her hand to keep from screaming, the pull of his voice was worse than any drug. She could tell by his tone that he was extremely interested, so he wasn't going to be easily swayed, and honestly part of her wanted him, her very soul ached for him. The sound of his voice and his boots moving across the floor was disastrous for her state of mind, bringing back visions of a room overlooking a lake where it all fell apart. It was too much it had to end. Her breath was coming in harsh gasps and if he didn't leave soon she knew that she was going to pass out.

As the sound of boots began to fade she held her breath until Shauna jerked open the door, but whatever harsh words she had for Jamie died on her lips when she saw how bad she looked.

Getting to her knees Shauna assisted her in standing and moving to a chair, the other woman gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Oh sweetie, please talk to me, what's wrong?"

"I…I…I'm not sure I can tell you, even if I could explain everything I'm not sure you'd believe me. Right now you think I hit my head too hard and I'm having some kind of an episode, but it's much more than that."

Shauna pulled another chair around and sat down next to her. "Okay let's start small. Do you think this has anything to do with you hitting your head?"

Jamie's laughter bordered on hysterical, "I could only wish. Let me ask you something, do you believe that people can get a second chance?"

"What do you mean, like someone screwing up and getting a chance to redo whatever it was they screwed up? Something like that?" 

"Exactly, but I think that if we make huge mistakes in our lives, that maybe just maybe we get the chance to correct them. Kind of like reliving that life, but knowing you need to turn right at the fork in the road instead of going left."

Shauna frowned, "what you mean like uh, what's it called reincarnation? No I don't believe that, I believe you get one chance and that's it. Look I know you're exhausted right now and well, I think you should head home and try to rest. Trust me a good night's sleep and everything will look better. Oh and don't worry about him, I gave him a story that you went to Uppottery for a few days so I bought you some time."

Jamie nodded and got to her feet, maybe Shauna was right, she was just tired, and the whole reason she was acting this way had a perfectly legitimate reason. "Okay, well maybe you're right. Thanks for covering for me and I'll see you tomorrow."

By the time she made it home, she was calmer and realized that if she didn't start acting like a normal person that Shauna was going to have her committed. Laughing she dropped on her bed and closed her eyes. Yes, sleep was exactly what she needed.

_His uniform was torn and dirty, his dark hair thick with sweat, his eyes sad and intense all at the same time. Yet through his exhaustion, he smiled. Stepping closer he cupped her face in his hands, his lips soft and gentle against hers._

_ "You know I'd never hurt you. I know you don't believe that now, but there are some things you need to accept. The first one is, no matter how hard you try, you can't change the past. If you think about it, all of this is over. You just have to accept it." _

_ She ran her hand over his jaw, feeling the stubble brush against her palm. "I wish I could give up, are you really telling me that no matter what I do this will all end the same way."_

_ Leaning in he nipped her lower lip, lightly running his tongue over it. "Yes, it will all end the same. You and I belong together, stop fighting me."_

_ Using both hands, she pushed away from his chest and walked away from him, turning only when she was sure he couldn't touch her. "Can't you see, I've got to fight you, this is the only way to save us both?"_

_ He didn't move he didn't need to; he merely lifted his hand reaching for her, "Jamie."_

When she opened her eyes, the sun was just rising. She'd slept for over fourteen hours straight. The headache was gone and somehow she was now at peace with her situation. If you'd asked her a few months ago if she thought dreams held the answer to life, she'd have laughed, but now, she was sure they was a direct link. He'd told her the future or past however you choose to look at it was set. While she wasn't completely ready to give up, she was willing to not fight so hard.

Pushing off the bed, she dressed quickly and headed downstairs, a quick cup of coffee and then she'd be off to the hospital. The least she could do was cover for Shauna today.

xxxxxxxx

The month passed quickly and she'd made peace with the dreams as well as the past. Oh she was still frustrated and trying to avoid him was a tad bit problematic, but the longer she delayed them meeting the better things were for everyone.

"Hey so are you going to the pub tonight to teach?"

Glancing up at Shauna and grinned, "how'd you find out that I was teaching?"

"Oh honey you are the talk of Easy Company, besides black-haired nurses who can swing…yeah not that many. Lew wants to stop by tonight and see what all the talk was about, but I didn't want to do that until I asked if it was okay."

Jamie laughed, "sure doesn't bother me. Actually the couple of guys who come every week aren't bad, they were just looking for the excuse. So let's say see you at seven?"

"Great, Lew will be excited for sure."

When the knock came at the door, she was shocked to see Dick standing there. "Dick, wow, it's nice to see you. How've you been?"

"Good, uh I've not had a chance to get by and see you and well I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk."

"Well Lieutenant Winters, you wouldn't be hitting on me would you? I thought we agreed that the best relationships were to not have a relationship."

Dick's face heated, "well I didn't think that included friendship. But if you think it does…"

"Nope, give me just a second." Putting the files back into the cabinet, she wrapped her arm up in his. "Lead the way, I'm all yours."

Dick led her along in silence and finally cleared his throat, "so are you feeling better?"

Smiling brightly at him, "I've never been better, I just think I was overtired and well I might have hit my head a little harder than I thought." She watched as he nodded and his body seemed to relax. Turning back forward she tried to maintain her relaxed air.

As they passed a group of men, one of them with his back to her caught her eye. Biting her lip she nudged Dick, "who is that? The man with his back to us?"

Dick glanced over, "oh Ronald Speirs, he's a platoon leader in Dog Company, he's a good man, a good leader. I think the worst I've ever heard about him is that he has a very short temper, not that I've ever seen it, but well you hear soldiers talk. Oh that reminds me; he stopped by the table that night you had to leave the bar suddenly. He was asking about you, maybe this would be a good time to make the introductions."

She quickly glanced at her watch, "oh damn, I'm sorry Dick, I promised Bill and some of the other boys a dance lesson tonight. Maybe some other time okay." Releasing his arm, she hurried down the road before he could stop her. She'd not worked this hard to keep hidden from him, just to have Dick accidently screw things up.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She was late heading for the pub and had to run the entire way there, and when she arrived, she found ten men waiting on her.

"Hey doll face, you're late and you're never late, what gives?"

"Well some of us have to work, what's it to you Gonorrhea?"

As the other men laughed as she put on the first record. Turning she gave Bill a smile, "okay tough guy show me what you got."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"She's good Shauna, I can see why all the boys flock down here to dance with her, doesn't she ever get tired?"

"No not that I've ever seen. So you want to take a turn with her?"

Lew laughed, "oh no I can tell when I'm being set up. I think I'll sit here with my best girl and enjoy the show. Uh oh, now what does he think he's doing?"

Lew watched as Captain Herbert Sobel made his way to the front of the group, pushing aside the other Easy men waiting, ensuring he was next in line. The man was nothing be trouble anywhere he went and the fact he'd suddenly introduced himself into the front of the line couldn't be good.

"Lew what's wrong, who is that man, I've never seen him before?"

Taking a drink, he pointed a finger at the man in question. "That is Easy Company's commanding officer and royal pain in Dick's side. I don't know what he's up to but I can guarantee there will be trouble."

When the song ended Jamie laughed and looked around, "okay boys, who's next?"

"That would be me Lieutenant."

Jamie frowned at the man who'd suddenly appeared at the front of the line, he'd never been there before, but word got around. Looking to either side of him, she saw the hatred showing clearly on every man's face as they backed away. Swallowing she smiled, "okay then, shall we."

As Jamie and Sobel danced Lew began to tap his fingers on the table. "Something is strange here, why did he suddenly show up. Uh oh, what's he doing now?"

Shauna looked away from Lew and toward the door where Sobel was directing Jamie. "Oh, do you think we should follow them?"

Lew shook his head, "no, I think it'll be okay. If she's not back in a few minutes we're going to start walking you home."

xxxxxxxxx

"Hey, what do you think you're doing, I never agreed to come outside, we're supposed to be dancing."

Sobel pulled her around the corner of the building putting her between him and the wall. "I just thought that we might have a little more privacy here, I mean you can't get this close on the dance floor now can you?"

As he pushed his groin against her, Jamie pressed against his chest with both hands. "Look I don't know what you think is going to happen here, but I'm not interested."

Sobel laughed and grabbed both her hands in one of his pushing them over her head. "Really, not interested, well let me see. First you are down here every night wiggling against enlisted me and you're an officer, wonder what Colonel Sink would think of that. Second, any woman who would be down her dancing with the enlisted is interested in more than friendship."

"So what Captain you plan to blackmail me into doing what you want?"

He chuckled and leaned in close, his lips grazing her cheek. "This isn't blackmail, this is sheer facts I'm listing. Now you have a choice, we can continue this somewhere else or…"

"Or what?"

"Or I go and see Colonel Sink in the morning and tell him how one of his nurses has been offering personal services on the side."

Turning her head away from him, she closed her eyes as he kissed down her neck. "Alright, somewhere else, just please not here."

As he started to turn, they both froze at the sound of a pistol cocking. "You know I don't believe the lady really wants to go. I'd suggest you move on and leave her here."

Sobel couldn't turn his head with the pistol resting just below his ear; the malicious glare in his eyes grew. "I don't know who you are, but you're going to pay for interfering in this."

The low chuckle sounded more like a growl in the darkness. "No, I don't think I will. Now, let her go."

Sobel might not have know who had a gun to his head, but Jamie did, there was no mistaking that voice, and she knew the minute Sobel was gone, her running from him was over. Glancing up at Sobel she watched the indecision play across his face. Suddenly he released her and shoved her back into the wall.

"Fine you can have her." Narrowing his eyes he glared at Jamie, "this isn't over, just remember my other option."

Watching him walk away, she knew that this was not going to go well. The sound of shuffling boots pulled her attention back to the man standing beside her. "Thank you, but you really shouldn't have, I think it might be worse for me now."

She flinched when she felt his hand grasp hers, "no it's not, and it'll be okay. I wasn't going to walk by and let that occur. Did he hurt you? Here let me see your wrist."

He gently pulled her into the light so he could see her wrist and noted the bruising beginning to form. "Well I'm afraid you're going to have some bruises, but maybe they won't be that bad."

She couldn't speak; the power of thought seemed to have left her as well. The thing she'd feared had finally happened. Ronald Speirs was holding her hand.


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 6

Ron glanced over at the woman who's hand he was currently holding. The look on her face was one of confusion and suspicion. Running his thumb across the soft skin on the inside of her wrist, he felt her pulse quicken under his fingers. Smiling he tugged her closer, relived when she didn't try to pull away. "You know, you're a hard lady to catch up with. I'm Ron by the way."

Jamie swallowed and forced her lips into a smile, "I'm Jamie, but I'm sure you already knew that didn't you?" 

When he chuckled, she had to lock her knees to keep them from buckling. The man was doing the most delicious things to her senses and he'd only touched her hand. She had to stay strong, the only way either of them would walk away from this was if she stayed strong, but oh he smelled good and she knew that he would probably look better out of that uniform than in. Gritting her teeth, she tried to pull her hormones back in check.

He dropped his voice slightly and gave her a sheepish smile, "Yeah I knew what your name was, uh would you like to go back inside and sit down? I'm sure your friends are probably concerned."

Looking at the door of the pub and back at him she warred with herself before finally nodding, "sure, Shauna will probably be worried." She felt a twinge of regret as he released her hand, but then he placed his hand at the small of her back, touching lightly but still touching, this time she couldn't stop the shiver.

Ron felt her shiver and leaned over, "are you cold?" He had to smile at the small squeaky 'no' she issued. Letting his hand rest harder on her back he could have sworn she jerked at his touch, and he knew instinctively it wasn't in a bad way. It didn't take him long to spot Nixon and Shauna leaning close together, and guiding Jamie to the table he pulled out a chair for her. "Well I think I found someone outside you might have been looking for."

Shauna lifted at brow and glanced between the two of them, taking in the fact that Ron let his hand continue to rest on the chair behind Jamie and she'd bet anything his thumb was rubbing against her back, especially as the terrified look on Jamie's face. Smiling she tapped the table to get Jamie's attention. "So did you have any trouble with Sobel? The two of you didn't look too happy when you left here?"

Jamie tried to focus, but Ron had moved his hand higher on her back so that he was now gently rubbing the skin of her neck, just above her collar. Damn him, he was trying to seduce her through small touches and if she didn't get away from him, it was going to work. "Uh, no, there was no trouble, but Ron ran into me outside and suggested that I let you know I was okay, but now that I've done that I think I'll head home." Shauna gave Jamie a smile that set her teeth on edge. She recognized that smile and something evil was about to happen.

"Oh sweetie, you can't leave just yet, I'm sure Ron would like at least one dance and then he could walk you home. That wouldn't be a problem would it Ron?"

She heard him agree beside her and begin to stand. Shauna was going to have to die, that was all there was to it. "Well Shauna thank you for the lovely suggestion. I'm sure I'll find some way to show you my appreciation." As Ron led her onto the dance floor, she heard the music shift from the normal fast-paced music, to a soft slow rhythm that begged couples to hold each other close.

Ron pulled her into his arms and slowly began to sway with the music. He'd felt her body tense the moment he'd pulled her close. Bending his head, he let his lips brush against her ear, "relax, I'm not Sobel and the minute you say no, I'll move away."

Lifting her head, she met his eyes and was shocked to see them full of warmth and interest. Tilting her head, she couldn't help but lower her eyes to his lips before lifting them back to meet his, this time they were dark with lust. "So, if I told you I didn't want you to escort me home, you'd do that?"

Ron frowned and dropped his eyes to her lips and grunted, "yeah if that's what you really wanted, I wouldn't like it, but I'd respect your wishes."

She dropped her gaze to stare across his shoulder. He hadn't been happy, the growling voice clearly told her that, she knew this was her last chance to keep away from him, her last chance to escape with her sanity, yet her body was betraying her. Closing her eyes, she laid her head on his shoulder, her lips barely skimming his neck. "Okay, you can walk me home."

xxxxxxxxxx

Ever since they'd left the pub she'd been quiet, but she hadn't pulled her hand from his. Glancing over at her, he could only wonder what was going through her mind. One minute she'd seemed completely happy the next, she looked like she wanted to run away. He'd never claimed to understand women, and this one was certainly confusing. She'd reacted to his touch in ways he didn't expect, her body leaning into his, her fingers brush his hand…her body told one story, and her face was telling another.

He watched as she bit her lower lip, which he thought was sexy as hell, but she seemed to be thinking hard on something. Trying to pull her out of her thoughts, he lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of hers. Her expression was part confusion, part surprise. Smirking he let her hand drop, "so you going to tell me what you were thinking about, or do I have to use more persuasive ways to convince you."

"No, uh honestly I was just considering how life works sometimes, nothing important." _Liar, you just don't want to admit that you were thinking about him kissing you._ Looking up she realized they arrived at the house she was staying at, turning she gave him smile, "well thanks for walking me home. Maybe I'll see you around."

"So no good night kiss?"

She narrowed her eyes and stared at him for a moment. Taking a step forward she placed her hands on his shoulders, looked him dead in the eye and leaned in kissing his cheek. "Good night Ron." She could still hear his laughter as she shut the door behind her.

_His hands wove themselves through her hair, pulling her head up for another kiss. Each kiss stole another part of her soul. Sighing into his mouth, she ran her hands under his t-shirt, loving the feel of his body, appreciating the fact he was still alive._

_ "You scared me, never do that again."_

_ His chuckle vibrated through her body, his voice soothing, "ah, you weren't missing me were you?"_

_ Her hand gripped him through his pants, "not funny. Now you need to lose the clothing."_

_ Releasing her he stood by the bed removing first his t-shirt, the barely healed wounds still looked raw and pink. Following his hands as they moved to his pants, she licked her lips in anticipation and smiled when he groaned. "Baby, you have no idea what you do to me."_

_ Looking away from his hands she smiled, "show me Ron, show me how much you want me."_

_ The sound of his pants hitting he floor had her eyes slowly lowering, savoring the anticipation of finally seeing him…_

"Hey, wake up, Dick is at the door. Something's wrong."

Groaning she rolled over and covered her head with a pillow. Yeah something was wrong, she'd yet to see what he looked like, a week straight of the same dream and always interrupted at the same place, damn. "Yeah okay I'm moving."

Staggering downstairs, she found Dick waiting for her. "Dick, a little early for house calls isn't it."

"Yeah well, I met a runner who was on his way here, seems Colonel Sink wants to see you, now."

She shook her head, "what are you talking about? Why would Colonel Sink want to see me?"

Dick turned her around and pushed her back up the stairs. "I've got no idea, but you need to get dressed and get to regiment fast. If he went to all the trouble to send a runner, you better believe that it's important."

Rushing back up the stairs a lump of dread began to form in her stomach, somehow she knew what had happened, Sobel had kept his promise.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

She'd spent the last twenty minutes pacing outside Sink's office. With every moment that passed, she tried to wrap her head around what possible lies Sobel could have told. Just as she was ready to start biting her nails into the quick, the door opened and Sink's clerk waved her in.

Standing before the huge desk, she waited for the man behind it to acknowledge her presence. He reminded her of her first chief when she was doing her residency. That man had scared the hell out of her too.

"Alright Lieutenant Williams have a seat and let's get to the bottom of this."

She didn't let his smooth southern accent fool her; behind those words was an edge of steel. Gripping her hands together in her lap, she waited.

"Now Williams I have to admit, I'm a little upset with what I've been hearing. Seems there is some talk about you spending a little too much time with the enlisted men. Might even been said that you were treating each one of them to a little more than just professional care. So before I decide what to do I wanted to ask you what you had to say for yourself."

Jamie gripped her hands tighter together and tried to reign in her temper. Sobel had done exactly what he promised; he'd gone to Sink and made it look like she was doing more than just dancing with the boys. "Sir, I think you've been misled. The only non-professional time I spend with the men is giving dance lessons, and that I do in a very popular pub with lots of witnesses. Never have I left with any of them, nor have I ever been alone with one of them."

Sink nodded his head, "well then just why do you think someone would come to me and say otherwise and I warn you, this comes from what I consider to be a reliable source."

When the words 'reliable source' left Sink's mouth, Jamie's temper snapped. "Oh you have got to be kidding me. That man is nothing but a pig who tried to rape me in an alley and then proceed to blackmail me into his bed. Now you are going to sit there and just take his word for it? This is ridiculous…"

"No just hold on right there, I never said who it was, but bottom line is this young lady, I'm not going to have you going around accusing my officers of something so despicable. Now, until I get to the bottom of this, you will report back to the house you're quartered in and you won't leave, is that clear."

Fighting back the tears, she managed to force a "yes sir" past her lips and calmly leave the office. She managed to make it around the corner before she completely collapsed in tears. How could anyone believe Sobel? She'd done nothing wrong but was now being locked up like a prisoner. Reaching in her pocket, she pulled out her cigarettes and managed to light one without dropping it. Leaning her head back against the building, she tried to think what the next step would be.

Of course, Sink would talk to Sobel again and he'd deny that it happened that way or that it happened at all. Mostly likely, he would say she'd made the story up trying to throw them off her actions. The only person who saw what happened in that alley was Ron and if she told him about this he just might shoot Sobel this time, or worse in her mind, get into trouble for pulling his pistol on a senior officer.

"Jamie, what's wrong, what happened with Sink?"

When she saw Dick, she threw herself into his arms and cried. She didn't know what to do, but she did know she needed someone just to be on her side for a moment. When her tears slowly began to dry, she pulled back and wiped her face. "Sorry Dick, things just didn't go so great."

"Okay so why don't you sit down here and tell me what happened."

Nodding she quickly rehashed the entire thing for Dick, and watched as his lips drew tighter by the moment. When she'd finished he nodded, "so the only person who knows what happened is Ron?"

"Right, he's the only one who saw what happened and I refuse to drag him into. In fact I don't even want him knowing, he was just a little pissed that night and from what I hear he's not know for his calm demeanor."

Dick laughed, "well no he's not, but I tell you what. You go on home and do what Sink said, and let me take care of this. I promise no Ron."

"Okay Dick, I trust you. I don't like it but I trust you."

Dick sat on the bench a moment longer and waited to she was out of sight. Glancing at his watch, he stood and straightened his uniform. The first thing he needed to do was talk to Ron. The only way he'd be able to pull this off was to know every detail of what happened in that alley.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Ron leaned back in the seat and fixed his gaze on Winters. "Okay so why do you need to know exactly what happened with Jamie and more to the point, how do you even know about it."

Dick rubbed a hand down his uniform inspecting it for lint. "Okay, if I tell you the whole story, you have to remain calm and listen to my plan."

"Right, I'll remain calm, tell me the plan."

Dick grinned, "I'm going to Sink and tell him I saw the whole thing, and I'll have details that Sobel can't dispute, but Jamie can back up. I'll also say that a soldier is the only reason his plan failed that night. That will ensure I keep my promise to Jamie and not drag you into this."

Ron gave a silly grin, "she made you promise not to drag me into this? Damn if that doesn't give me hope and here I thought she didn't like me."

"Oh she likes you just fine. Now can we get down to business?"

xxxxxxxxxx

Sobel didn't slam Sink's door, even though he wanted to. He waited until he was outside the building before he kicked something. Once again, Winters had interfered with his plans. Going to Sink and telling him he'd seen the whole thing, using facts that should have only been known to three people. Three people that Winters claims he only saw two clearly.

There had to be a way to discredit Winters in Sink's eyes, he just didn't know how. The man seemed to lead a charmed life and even his attempts at Tocca to make Winters look bad had failed. Taking a deep breath, he looked up at the sky and closed his eyes. Time was moving quickly and the big invasion would be coming soon. He didn't have much time. Smiling to himself he whistled as he headed back to the headquarters, a plan had just come to mind, oh maybe not to get rid of Winters, but to punish him for his interference.

****

_Uppottery-1944_

She couldn't say she was happy, but she wasn't unhappy. They had only two more days before the big jump and she was busy almost every minute. Grabbing up a new box of supplies she headed down the hall to the storage room. She hadn't seen Ron in over a month and that was the one drawback about this, they couldn't spend time together.

The last few months had passed like a blur, and so much had happened, Dick's almost court marital, Sobel being removed from command after all the sergeants threatened to quit. She had to admit that had been funny and well deserved. But now Easy had a good commander and an excellent officer back with the men just in time for the invasion.

Juggling the box in her hands and trying to open the door she had to give it a little kick when she final her the latch slip open. Moving into the room, she hit the light switch with her elbow and just as quickly wished she hadn't. Shauna was bent over a stack of supplies with Nixon behind her, his pants and hers down around their ankles. "Oh crap, uh I'm sorry I'll just sit this down here and well shit I'm gone."

Dropping the box, she ran out of the room slamming the door behind her. Running down the hallway, she slid into the main ward and leaned against the wall chocking back the laughter. As embarrassing as the entire thing was, it was still funny. Beside her, someone cleared his throat and she turned to see Nixon calmly leaning against the doorframe.

"Well Jamie, I would say you didn't catch me at my best moment, but then again, it was a mighty fine moment. Uh, you may want to go talk to Shauna, she's a little upset having been caught in the moment." Leaning in he kissed her cheek. "See you around."

Laughing and shaking her head, she started back down the hallway. Nothing bothered Lewis Nixon, even getting caught bare assed in a supply closet.


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 7

Jamie peeked in the storage room to see Shauna sitting on a crate having a cigarette. "Well I'm glad to see you're dressed, I don't think I could take another view like that last one."

"Ha ha very funny. Thanks for ruining the mood by the way."

Reaching over Jamie filched Shauna's cigarette, "well how was I to know that the storage room had become a love nest." She handed the cigarette back and sat on a crate across from her friend. "Okay in all seriousness, you are being careful right? I mean I don't think we need any surprises in nine months."

Shauna snorted, "yes we're being careful and if you'd ever get that hunk of a man you've been seeing into bed I'll let you borrow some. Cause trust me the way that man was looking at you that night…you're going to need them."

Sighing she looked at Shauna, "stop trying to change the subject, and besides, I've not seen him in a month, been slightly busy with this invasion. Shauna, he's still a married man and I'm starting to worry that you've become a little more attached to him than you should be."

This time Shauna wouldn't meet her eyes, "I know he's still married and well I think it might be a little too late for not becoming attached. I love him Jamie and I always will, not matter what finally happens between us. I know you don't understand how I could and you probably think I'm crazy…"

Jamie cut her off with a sad laugh, "No I don't think you're crazy and in fact I'm probably the one person who completely understands loving someone you shouldn't. Shaking her head, she jumped off the crate. "Look I need to grab that box of air sickness pills behind you and start making the rounds with the medics. I'll catch up with you later."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Leaning up against the side of the plane, she watched all the activity swirling around her with little emotion. She wasn't scared; hell she wasn't even nervous, not today. The calendar in her room said all that needed to say, it was only June 5th, there would be no jump today. Looking around her feet, she watched the rest of her chalk speak in high nervous voices, their eyes shining overly bright. Adrenaline did strange things to people, she only hoped for their sake it kicked in later when they really needed.

"Want to explain to me how you can stand here so calm as if you did this every day of your life?" Shauna propped herself up next to Jaime, looking at her expectantly.

"I don't know what to tell you, I guess I just know we're going to be okay."

"You know? You can't know, what makes you so sure."

"Just a feeling I guess, besides, the more anxious you get the more you're going to wear yourself out. Chances are they are going to need us at our best when we get on the ground, why exhaust yourself now."

Shauna narrowed her eyes and remained quiet. The quiet staring made Jamie nervous, it was almost as if Shauna was looking for the truth, the truth she wouldn't have believed even if she knew it. Finally, Shauna shrugged and looked over her shoulder, "yeah I guess you're right, hey there's Lew."

Lew gave them a grin and stealthy reached for Shauna's hand giving it a squeeze. "Ladies, don't you both look wonderful in your harnesses, however I have some news, the coast is socked in, we're not jumping tonight. So how do the two of you feel about catching a movie?"

Jamie pushed off the plane, "nah, you two have fun. I think I'm going to drop this stuff and head back to my nice cot. Grab some sleep while I still can."

Lew watched Jamie walk off and then turned back to Shauna, "she's awfully calm about all this. Did she hit her head again?"

"Nope, she's been that way for a while. Now come on, you promised me a dark theater and a movie."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

As she lay on her cot, counting seams in the tent above her she tried not to focus on the looks that had passed between Lew and Shauna. They thought she was nuts again, and well maybe she was. How did you explain that you already knew that at least four people were going to make it through this jump safely? Rubbing her forehead, she knew this was going to be one of those secrets she kept to herself.

"Jamie, you in there?"

Now that voice was enough to have her sitting up. Ron, she could only guess how he'd found her, and her guess had something to do with two mice that liked to play in storage closets. "Yeah, I'm here."

Without asking permission, he stepped in and closed the flap behind him. "Nice place you have here." Walking over her lifted her legs and cleared a place for him to sit on the cot beside her. "So what are you doing here all by yourself?"

Snorting she moved her legs off his lap and swung them to the ground. "I was trying to sleep, is there something I can do for you?"

The smirk that suddenly appeared on his full lips should have warned her and she had only a moment to suspect his next move when his hand wrapped around the back of her neck. "Yeah, you can come a little closer, I forgot to give you something the last time I saw you."

His tug on her neck had her falling into his chest, her hands bracing against him, forcing her to tilt her head up to see his face. "Yeah, and what was it you forgot to give me."

His head lowered and she saw him slowly lick his lips, "this." Then those soft full lips were against hers, the stubble around his mouth chafing against her skin causing her to shiver. His hand on her neck ensured that she stayed close, unable to pull away. Yet, he didn't press the advantage, merely moved his lips softly against hers, his tongue barely touching her lower lip. She felt his other hand move up to join the other at the base of her neck, then the feeling of heavy weight as her hair fell down her back.

She knew in her mind she should stop him, this path would only lead to heartache and death, but the moment he dug his hands into her hair and moaned against her mouth, she told her logical brain to shut the hell up. Moving closer to him, she threw a leg across his lap so she was sitting facing him, moving closer to him, until his arousal pressed against her.

When he moaned and broke the kiss, his eyes slowly opened looking up at her, their darkness giving away nothing. "What do you want Jamie?"

As she sat on his lap looking into those dark orbs, his arousal pressing against her she had a moment of doubt, what was it she really wanted? Instead of answering his question, she gave him one of her own. "How can you calmly be here with me, now on the eve of the invasion?"

His hands slid from her hair and down her back to rest on her hips. "It's simple; I want to know you, not just physically, but your very soul. I can't explain why, but the moment I saw you, I felt there was something deeper, something between us that went beyond simple explanations. And as to how I so calmly am sitting here, that's easy too. The future is written, we're just acting it out and once you realize that your life is already determined and you accept it, embrace it even, the sooner you can make peace with it." His eyes never left hers during the speech and his gaze didn't waiver. She knew he believed those words and part of him was now trying to convince her.

Nodding her head she smiled, reaching up she ran her fingers along his neck and finally into his hair. "You're right, our lives are written, and I just need to accept." Leaning in as she held his head in place, she nipped his lower lip causing his lips to part with a hiss. The moment his lips opened her tongue slid inside, wrestling with his, memorizing the feel and taste of him.

When her hips pressed forward against him, he growled low in his throat and wrapped his arms around her, flipping their positions so that now he was lying on top of her. Grinding his hips against her, he felt her arch into him. Pulling his lips away, he began to kiss and suck at her neck. "Oh god, I can't stay you know that?"

"Yeah I know." Those words spoken in pants, she was so close, like so many of those dreams, and she just needed a moment longer. Pressing harder against him, she closed her eyes, "please stay just a minute longer."

She heard him chuckle against her neck, "oh I know what you want." She felt his weight shift then his hips began to press his arousal into her in a rhythmic motion. "You want to come don't you?"

Her soft sighs were the only answer he got. Pushing hard into her one last time, he dropped all his weight on her, feeling her squirm beneath him in frustration. "Damn you Ron Speirs."

Pushing away from her, he stood smirking, "what you think I'm going to be the only one spending tonight uncomfortable, no way sweetheart." Bending down he kissed her again, this time a slow dizzying kiss. Groaning he pulled away, "I've to go, but please be careful. I'll see you at the rally point."

She watched him slip out of the tent as quickly and silently as he'd arrived. Dropping her head back on the pillow, she rolled to her side. Damn him, she'd been so close and now she faced another night of unfulfilled desires.

****

_Brecourt, France_

Jamie and Shauna drug their tired bodies into the rally point a little before noon. They had been lucky to only have landed a few hundred yards from one another and then working together and figured out where they heck they were. Looking around at the scattering of men, they both tried to spot anyone they recognized.

"I'm not seeing anyone from regiment, think they made it okay?"

Jamie didn't turn to look at Shauna not wanting to see the fear in her eyes; she knew her friend was looking for only one person from regiment. "Yeah I'm sure they're fine, we just got luck is all. Hey looks like they set up and aid station, let's make ourselves useful."

When they entered the small area Gene was the first to see them, "boy I'm I glad to see you two. I need someone one better than medics. Can you take the left side of the room and Shauna you take the back."

Both women moving further into the room and began work, Jamie was grateful for the work, that way Shauna wouldn't be worried about Nixon. She'd have like to have told her that he would be fine, but that would cause more questions and that was a conversation she really didn't want to have right now.

When she heard the familiar voice, she turned to see Dick talking to Gene and both of them nodding and looking around the room. Moving quickly across the room, she grabbed his arm, "Dick I'm so glad to see you." Immediately seeing his face, she pulled back. "What's wrong?"

Dick ran his hand through his hair, "I'm taking a small group of men over to the next field and try to take out those guns, and I was looking for any medic who could be spared."

"Sir, that's what I was saying, I ain't got no one I can spare right now."

"I'll go and Shauna can stay here." Both men turned to look at her with confusion. Propping her hands on her hips she gave them both a disgusted look. "Okay here's the deal, Gene knows all the medics, I don't, he needs to be here and coordinate this effort. He has a nurse and probably in a few hours, he'll have a doc. You need a medical person and I'm the most expendable one."

When she saw Dick open his mouth to argue she held up her hand, "I promise I won't make one move until you tell me to."

Gene shrugged, "she makes a good argument sir, and well I'd let her go if I was you."

"Fine, grab your bag and let's go. But remember you don't do anything unless I give you the okay."

Smiling she crossed her heart. "I promise Dick I'll be good."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey is that Speirs, oh what's he doing, why are they getting out of the trenches?"

Dick shook his head as they watched Ron and two of his men sprint to take the last gun.

Jaime dropped beside them to watch as the last man in the group dropped. She knew she couldn't leave him there. Pushing to her feet she jumped out of the trench and made a run for the man, grabbing him under his arms and slowly pulling him back toward the wider part of the trench. The machine gun bullets whizzed around her feet and head, none of them coming close.

"What the hell is Jaime doing?"

Dick turned to see what Buck was talking about to see Jamie dragging a wounded man back toward their location. He winced as he watched the bullets graze the ground around her feet. How she wasn't being hit was beyond him. Nudging Buck, they worked their way down the trench toward her.

When Jaime reached them, she passed the soldier over to them and jumped down in the trench to try to treat him, only to find he'd died. Kicking the wall of the trench, she was shocked when Dick grabbed her arm and spun her to face him.

"What were you thinking? You promised me that you wouldn't do anything until I gave you the okay and then the minute I turn my back you're out there trying to get yourself killed."

Jamie jerked her arm away from him and gave a watery laugh, "you don't understand do you? The future is set, so there is no need to worry, this has all been done a million times before. Let it go Dick." Picking up her bag, she walked away from the two men and headed back to where the rest of Easy was.

Dick shook his head feeling confused. She had been so fatalistic about the whole statement and what sent a shiver down his spine was how sure she'd been. Beside him Buck laughed, "you know, if her and Speirs were an item I'd say they were perfect for each other. Both of them seem to have a death wish."

"Yeah well this will make you laugh; they are together, in a different kind of way. Come on let's get back before she does something else."

xxxxxxxxxxx

She wove her way between the parked vehicles trying to avoid anyone she knew. Today had not gone well and she felt that she needed to find Dick to apologize. When they'd returned to the rally point he'd not even looked her way, merely went off and left her. Dunking behind a truck, she heard Shauna laugh and Nixon's chuckle join in. They were happy and she could almost predict that one of these parked trucks would see some action tonight.

Honestly when she'd snapped at Dick in the trench she'd meant every word. She really did believe that the future was set and now she was merely marking time until she died. Oh it wasn't going to be anytime soon and it was a little depressing to know that the man you loved was indirectly the cause of your death. She stopped walking and frowned, if she honestly felt that way, why was she still trying to be with Ron.

Moving on she realized it didn't matter, she couldn't stop it but maybe she could enjoy the time she had left, she only wished she knew what had caused that terrible fight, if only she had that last sliver of information, then and it was just a slim chance, maybe she could change her future.

Heading up a small incline she watched as death and fire rained down on the town across the river from them. Shivering she kept walking, only to finally see the person she'd been searching for. He was sitting alone in a jeep staring at the fire show. Heading over to the passenger seat, she took off her helmet and stood a minute undecided about what to do.

"You can sit down."

Getting in she waited to see if he'd speak again, but when he remained silent she cleared her throat. "Dick, I'm sorry I didn't wait for you to give me the okay and well I should have. I also know I kind of freaked you out back there and I wish I could explain, but you just have to trust me when I say things like that."

"You know, I'm surprised and grateful that I made it through today. So many men didn't. I couldn't face the thought of losing you too." Turning his vivid blue eyes seemed to glow in the dark as they reflected the light from the bombs. "I promise myself and God, that when this is over, I'm going back to Pennsylvania and find a nice farm and live the rest of my days in peace."

Reaching over she grabbed his hand holding it tight between both of hers. "I promise you Dick, that's exactly what you'll do when this is over."

He stared at her a moment longer before nodding and turning his attention back to the show across the river. His hand squeezed hers tighter but never let go.


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 8

Glancing over at Shauna, she could only shake her head, while below them, the town of Carentan sat, quiet and still. Just like a fairy tale, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. "No good can come of this, you know that. Do we really think the Germans are just going to let us have it?"

"Nope, I'm going to find Lew, he should be done with the briefing by now, you going to be okay here?"

Jamie nodded her head, not taking her eyes off the town. "Sure, I'll be standing here when you get back, I promise."

Tapping her fingers on the hood of the jeep she looked at the men scattered below. Once again, Easy was tapped to lead the way and the only thing between them and Carentan was a long empty road. Something about this just wasn't right, it was too easy.

"You're a hard lady to catch up with. But I'm glad I finally have you to myself for a small while any way."

She slowly turned to face him, the smirk on his face making her grind her teeth in frustration. The man was too handsome to be left to his own devices. "Well if it isn't my favorite Lieutenant. I'm glad to see that you're unharmed from Brecourt."

Ron's smirk slowly slipped and his eyes narrowed, "how'd you know I was at Brecourt?"

Rolling her eyes she leaned back against the jeep, "I know because who do you think pulled one of your men back after you decided to get out of the trenches? I was there and saw everything."

Taking another step towards her, he stopped shy of actually touching, but still could feel the heat coming from her body. Leaning in he lowered his voice so that only she could hear, "and after seeing what happened, were you worried about me?"

Turning her head her lips mere inches from his, their breath mingling together. "Yes, I was worried."

Pulling back from her, he glanced around and noticed no one looking their way, reaching out he traced the tips of his fingers across the scratches on her neck. "Is that where you got these?"

Shivering against the feelings his fingers were creating she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. Feelings and thoughts of their last time together raced through her body, sighing she opened her eyes. "No, that was an accidental meeting with a wild thorn bush the night we jumped. Ron I wanted to ask you something…"

"Hey Jamie get over here, Dick is looking for you."

Growling she glanced over her shoulder to see Lew standing calmly waiting, a smirk on his face. Turning back, she gave him a small smile. "Sorry, I guess this will have to wait."

Turning she left him standing by the jeep and walked over to join Lew. The minute she was next to Nixon she elbowed him in the ribs enjoying the woof of pain. "Hey what did I do, well besides interrupting that little conversation? Hmm, I didn't realize the two of you were so chummy."

"Shut up Lew."

"You know I would have never figured you to be someone that would be interested in Sparky. What you like your men a little on the dangerous side."

Stopping she turned to face him. "What do you mean by that?"

He shrugged, "nothing really, I guess I was just surprised that you would be interested in someone with such a short fuse is all. Rumor is he has a terrible temper. It's going to get him in trouble one of these days."

She locked her body to suppress the shiver that threatened to go down her body. It was almost as if Nixon's words were a warning. Glancing over his shoulder to where she had left Ron, she saw he was gone. Turning her eyes back to Lew, she gave him an evil smile. "You know Lew, since I am a nurse and have access to the condoms you might not want to play with me…I'd hate it if they all developed holes…what would you tell your wife?"

She found a small pleasure in watching his face lose all its color, his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "You know, I think I take it back, you two are perfect for each other."

Lifting a brow she shrugged, "think what you want. Hurt my friend when this is over, I'll kill you. Now where is Dick?"

Lew kept quiet and only pointed down the hill. He found himself relieved when Jamie left him standing alone. He had to agree with Shauna, ever since she hit her head in training, she'd become a different person. He couldn't put his finger on what it was exactly, but she seemed to be colder, more reserved. Shaking his head at the crazy places his thoughts were going, he walked back up the hill to join the rest of the staff.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Moving in a low crouch, she pressed herself against the wall next to Roe. They had followed the rest of Easy into the town once the machine gun ceased firing down the road, however the firing was far from over. Tapping Gene on the shoulder she pointed to three soldiers huddled together around another one. "You go that way, I'll head this way."

Parting she headed in the direction of medic being yelled. There were too many calls for a medic to discern which one was the most critical so she stopped at the first wounded man she came to and began to work her way through the town.

As the cries for help began to fade, she headed down and road toward the edge of town passing Dick along the way. "Hey, wouldn't stand still for too long, someone might take a shot at you."

He looked up from what he was reading and gave her a brief smile, "well with you here, at least I won't have to worry about being treated now will I? You might want to head down to the last building on the left, I think that's where Doc was going to set up the add station."

She gave a wave over her shoulder and continued toward the building. Now that the fighting was over except for the sporadic shot, she let her thoughts return to the conversation with Nixon. Something about his words came as a warning to her. Oh she knew there was no way he could know what would or did happen, but maybe someone was trying to tell her to get away while she could.

Nodding she had convinced herself that the Nixon's words were a warning, from who or what she didn't care, but a warning that maybe she should take seriously. After all she couldn't forget the dream where he was so angry that she was frightened. _Yet, no matter how angry he was, he never touched you. He never hurt you, at least not physically._ "Yeah well he might not have hurt me, but that was because he couldn't stand to touch me."

"Who are you talking to Jamie? Who hurt you?"

Looking up she saw Dick standing there leaning heavily on the table. Sighing she looked down and saw he was standing on one leg, holding the other off the ground. "Well it looks like you didn't listen. Get on the table and let me have a look."

He frowned but didn't offer comment. Hopping up on the table, he extended his leg and tried not to wince when she began to tug at his pants. "Uh, Jamie is everything okay?"

"Fine, Jesus why does everyone keep asking me that. I'm perfectly fine and would be a hell of a lot better if everyone would stop commenting on my life."

Dick watched her work in silence; she was agitated enough without him making another comment, especially when she had tweezers trying to pull a piece of metal out of his leg. Once the metal was out, she quickly cleaned the area and began to wrap the leg. Trying to distract her, he glanced over her shoulder at Blithe sitting quietly in a corner. "Hey what's wrong with Blithe?"

Looking over her shoulder at the soldier in question, she shrugged. "Gene said he couldn't see I have no idea other than that. Now bottom line you going to stay off this leg or what?"

Dick reached out and lifted her chin with his finger. "Jamie, tell me what's wrong, this isn't like you?"

She sighed and sat down the supplies she was holding. "I wouldn't be able to explain it to you and it would just make your head hurt. I'm sorry if I've been short, I just think it's been a long day and well, I had a conversation with Lew that was a little disturbing."

Dick stared at her for a moment before nodding. "Okay, I understand and I know that this has been a stressful day and well if I know Lew I'm sure he found a way to get under your skin."

"You can say that again. Okay well you're good to go."

Buck coming in to ask Dick's guidance finishing the conversation between them. Gathering things up she tuned out their voices and focused on her job. Dick calling her name finally pulled her out of it. "Hey, we're moving out and regiment will be moving in. I want you to stay here tonight and try to sleep. When we get some down time, we're going to talk."

She nodded and watched him go. Sleep was a joke, she knew the minute she closed her eyes, and the dreams would come again. She'd either have the sexual dreams that would leave her tense and exhausted or dreams of her death that would leave her depressed and sad.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Standing next to Lew on the hill overlooking the woods that the rest of the 506th currently occupied she understood why Dick didn't want her there. The woods were currently taking a hell of pounding from the Germans.

"Dog and Fox are falling back sir."

Lew's voice had everyone turning to where two companies worth of men were fleeing the woods. Grabbing Lew's arm she pulled him closer, 'that means that Easy has been left to defend alone?"

He nodded and frowned, "nothing to do but pray now."

Jamie felt torn. Part of her wanted to stay and watch the sick drama unfolding before her and another part of her wanted to race to where Dog Company had pulled back. She knew that he was okay; there was no doubt in her mind, but part of her still needed to see for herself.

"Well hello First Armor." Lew's voice pulled her back to the drama below and she had to lock her knees to keep from sagging in relief as the American tanks rolled into the clearing between Easy and the Germans.

Knowing that everyone would now be okay, she slipped away and headed back down the hill to where she thought Dog had gone. Seeing all the men grouped together she realized suddenly what a difficult task it was going to be to find one man out of a sea of men. Sighing she thought about turning back when a hand gripped her arm.

"What are you doing down here?"

Her eyes quickly scanned his body and other than a few scratched to his face he was whole and intact. Pushing her concern aside, she gave him a smirk, "well I was coming to see how you are, but I can see from the warm reception that you are just fine. I'll be going now."

When she started to step around him, he stepped in front of her and smiled. No not smirk; it was a genuine smile that had her stunned. "I'm happy you came to check on me, you really didn't have to do that and to be honest for as happy as I am to see you, I would prefer you stayed away from large groups of men."

"Why, afraid they can't control themselves around me."

The smile left his face and his eyes darkened. "That's exactly why. You're mine and I don't think I would like having to kill one of my men for doing something stupid."

_Say it, say the words I want to hear Jamie…you're mine, always and forever…_

Her blood froze and she jerked her arm away. "I understand I have to go." She ran, not just metaphorically, but physically sprinted all the way back to the aid station. When she finally reached the small building she collapsed in a corner, gasping for air and shaking like a leaf. The words…the same words from the dream continued to echo through her mind. He wasn't playing games, he honestly believed it. Could that have been what caused the argument? Was there another man? Had she done something to make him thing there was? Rubbing her forehead, she leaned her head against the cool stone wall. Shauna was right, she was crazy and if she didn't talk to someone about this soon, she was going to lose her mind.

****

_Aldbourne, England_

"Are you sure you won't come with us? I'm worried about you; you haven't let this room in two days."

Jamie kept her back turned to Shauna. "I told you I'm fine, I just think I caught a cold. I'll be fine." She listened as Shauna sighed and walked to the door. When the door closed and she knew she was alone she rolled over to her back and stared at the ceiling. She was a chicken, she freely admitted it. She was lying in this bed hiding, hiding from Dick and Ron. The later being the more dangerous of the two.

Getting up she went over to the rocking chair and sat down. She managed to avoid Ron on the trip over from France and then run off the boat to avoid Dick. Laughing she knew it was only a matter of time until Dick showed up, so when the knock came at the door she didn't even bother to answer just told him to come in.

Dick frowned and entered the room, "how did you know it was me?"

"Oh because you are the type of man that never forgets a conversation so it was only a matter of time until you showed up here to talk. I've been trying to avoid you."

"Yeah, I was getting that feeling, especially when you ran off the boat and then when Lew said you'd been sick and wouldn't leave this room." He moved over to sit on the edge of the bed. "So want to tell me what's been bothering you, because unlike Lew and Shauna, I don't think you hit your head to hard."

She chuckled, "well then you dear sir are the minority, because I'm even starting to believe I might have scrambled my brains." Her laughter died away and she pulled her feet up in the chair. "Dick do you believe in reincarnation?"

Giving the question some thought he finally shrugged, "oh I don't know, I've never given it much thought, but I guess it could be possible."

"Okay so you're willing to entertain the idea, Dick I've been having dreams and in these dreams it's almost as if it has happen and I'm just remembering it, yet it hasn't happened because it's the future. Does that make any sense?"

"Honestly no, but it seems to be really bothering you, why don't you just give me an example."

Getting up she began to pace, "alright. Dick I'm going to die, I know that I will be shot don't know when or why, but before that I'm going to have a terrible fight with Ron, one that will cause him to hate me."

Dick stood and grabbed her shoulders. "How can you be so sure? Come on Jamie, dreams are just that dreams."

She shook her head, "no Dick, these aren't just dreams. Dreams are something you have once, maybe twice, but these have been progressive and every time they come I get another piece of the puzzle. Honestly I think I'm losing my mind." She dropped her head against his chest and let him pull her close to wrap his arms around her.

"Jamie, you're not losing your mind. I think you are just having doubts about you and Ron and they are coming out as a dream. Now, I'm going to step out of this room and wait for you downstairs. I want you to get cleaned up and we are going to diner." When she started to argue he gave her a squeeze. "No, I won't hear any arguments. We're going out and if you see Ron, tell him you're with me. But if you want a relationship with him, then do what your heart tells you and let the chips fall where they may."

She nodded against his chest. "Okay Dick you're right. Maybe my mind is just playing tricks on me. Sure let's go to diner."

When she was alone again she looked in the mirror. She'd tried to explain and at least he hadn't thought she was crazy, but he didn't really understand. Brushing her hair she thought back to what Ron had told her before they jumped. The future was written, nothing could be changed because you destiny was determined. Laying the brush down she tried to smile. Well if her future was determined, then she might as well enjoy the time she had left. Turning she left the room and headed downstairs to find Dick calmly waiting to take her to diner.


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 9

She wasn't surprised when he showed up at her door two days later; she was more surprised it took him this long. "Well Lieutenant, long time no see, how have you been?"

Ron lifted a brow and smirked, "I've been well, and from what I hear around base so have you. I just thought that I would stop by and ask you something before someone else beat me to it."

"Okay, so what did you want to ask me?"

He cleared his throat, "well I'm sure you've heard by now there is a dance tomorrow night and well I'd like to be the one who escorts you to the dance."

She had to squeeze the door to calm her excitement, she'd hoped he'd show up, but with the fact she hadn't seen him in over a week, who knew what to expect. Giving him a serious look she looked him up and down as if appraising his value. "Well, you know I've not been asked yet and seeing as you went to all the effort to walk over and ask I don't see why not."

He gave her a smirk and leaned in, "don't play; you know you wanted it and if you're a good girl, I just might have a surprise for you. Wear red lipstick." He turned to walk off leaving her standing with her mouth open in shock. Pausing at the gate he turned to smile at her, "yes I said red, I'll enjoy kissing it off you."

She stood in the doorway staring down the road long after he was gone. Slowly she shook herself out of the daze she'd been in and shut the door. The man confused

her and it wasn't like she was clear on what was going on between them as it was. Dropping into the chair she sighed and closed her eyes. She knew if she went to the dance with him where they would end up, it was only a matter of time and now…rubbing her face she realized that no matter how hard someone tried they could never changed the past or future.

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"So did he come by and ask you out."

She nodded, "Yeah he came by, how did you know?"

Shauna swayed around the room smiling, "oh just the fact that he stopped by the hospital looking for you and he seemed, very determined."

She giggled, "well he was determined and gave me very specific directions."

Shauna dropped what she was holding and spun around. "Really now, specific directions and you're not sharing the details."

Jamie shrugged, "it's not that big of a deal, he just mentioned that he wanted me to wear red lipstick." She didn't finish the rest of his comment; there were just some things that a woman needed to keep to herself. Like the fact she knew exactly what his last comment meant…they wouldn't be staying at the dance all night that was a fact.

"Hey what are thinking about?" Shauna was snapping her fingers in front of her face. "Okay so now that you're back with me, what's going on through your head?"

She swatted Shauna's hand out of her face. "I'm just daydreaming for a moment, nothing important."

Shauna lifted a brow and frowned, "sure uh huh, like I believe that, but if you want to keep it to yourself then you just do that."

She watched the other woman leaving the room and relaxed against the wall. Oh she'd keep her thoughts to herself, or at least until after the dance.

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"You look beautiful tonight." He had to lean in for her to hear him, but it did give him a nice view of her cleavage. He'd been more than pleased when she'd opened the door, lips blood red, hair down but pulled back on the side and that deep green dress just defied words. The smile she'd given him nearly drove him to his knees with thoughts of spreading her across the bed and peeling off her clothes one piece at a time.

She gave him a smile and licked her lips, relishing the way his eyes darkened and followed her tongue as it traveled across her lips. The power she felt inside from making him watch her was overwhelming. She'd never felt that way when a man looked at her but Ron was something else. She reached for his hand and pulled it into her lap. "Well it was your suggestion after all. What did you expect?"

He chuckled and leaned in to let his breath caress her ear, "well I expected to be leaving her by now, but it would seem I'm not having you to myself for much longer."

Pulling back she frowned at him then felt the hand drop on her shoulder. "Hey doll come dance with us, no one here is as good as you."

She smiled up at Bill and then glanced back at Ron who's jaw had tightened. Giving him a strange look she stood and took Bill's hand letting him pull her out on the dance floor.

"You know doll, I think Sparky ain't too happy about us dancing. Maybe I should take you back to him before someone gets hurt."

She cast a glance in Ron's direction and yes he did seem a little unhappy, but that was no reason for him to ruin her good time. "Nope, he'll be just fine. We have a dance to finish."

As one fast song gave way to another Bill passed her off to Joe, who then passed her off to Lipton. Laughing she enjoyed the dancing and all the men were good and she was comfortable with them. She hadn't given too much thought to Ron until a slow song began and she was handed over to Gene. "Well hello Gene, don't you look handsome."

The blush crept into his cheeks, "thank you Jamie, I figured the only way I'd get near you to dance was a slow dance."

"Well lucky for you, this is honestly my favorite."

"I'm cutting in."

Her hand was pulled from Doc's shoulder and she was spun into Ron's arms. "Hey don't you think that was just a little rude?" he didn't answer her but she could feel every muscle in his body, he was tense. Reaching up, she wrapped her hand around his neck rubbing at the tense muscles, "Ron what's wrong, why did you act that way?"

His eyes cut down to look at her and he slowly released the breath he'd been holding. "I don't know why I did it; I guess I was just upset about…about you dancing with all those men."

"Why Ronald Speirs are you jealous?"

When he turned his head to look down at her the cold look in his eyes sent a shiver down her spine, the look in his eyes was so familiar and somehow so terrifying. "Yes, it drives me crazy thinking of you in another man's arms."

She licked her lips trying to wet them; her mouth had suddenly gone very dry. "Ron, I…" The rest of her speech was cut off when his lips covered hers. They stopped swaying with the music but yet they swayed together. The world fell away as his arms pulled her closer, his tongue caressing hers.

He lifted his head and spoke, his lips brushing hers. "Let's get out of here before I do something to disgrace us both."

She nodded her head against his chest and wrapped his hand up in hers letting him lead her out of the pub and down the street. Neither of them spoke as they walked through the cool night, both knowing where this was about to end. When he stopped they were in front of a small Tudor house. He reached for his key pausing to give her a smile. "The owners of the house have gone to visit relatives, so we have the place to ourselves…that is if this is what you want?"

Reaching out she caressed his cheek and ran her thumb over his lower lip. "Yes this is what I want."

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She had no idea who they got up the stairs, it all seemed to be happening in a dream and she knew a lot about dreams and Ronald Speirs. When he started to speak she laid her fingers against his lips. "Nope, no talking, in fact I'd prefer you just remain still for a few moments."

He chuckled but dropped his hands back to his sides. She reached for his tie quickly undoing it and dropping it to the side. Her hands moved to his buttons slowly working each one free and then pushing the jacket off his shoulders. This part she always remembered clearly, the feeling of her hands stroking his chest, freeing him of the shirt and slowly sliding her hands under his t-shirt to feel his skin under the palm of her hands.

Slowly she dropped to her knees in front of him, running her hands down his legs until she reached his shoes. Giving him a grin she quickly undid them and pulled them from his feet tossing them out of the way. Running her hands back up his legs, she reached his belt undoing it along with his pants, her fingers curling beneath the tops of his boxers and grasping his pants. This was what she'd been waiting for, to finally see him and touch him.

Taking a deep breath she pulled down his pants her eyes following them to the floor and then pulling them away from his feet as he stepped free. Swallowing hard she slowing raised her eyes up until she met that one part of him she'd never seen in her dreams and all she could think was it had been well worth the waiting. Reaching out she gently ran her hand over him, relishing the feel of how hard he was, yet he felt soft as silk. Licking her lips she glanced up to see his eyes partial closed in pleasure, well she had something to take his breath away.

She wrapped her lips around the head of his cock, sucking and licking just around the tip causing him to groan and his fingers dug into her hair knocking the hairpins to the floor. She sucked him deep into her throat as if her life depended on it and when he began to thrust into her throat she knew she had to be doing something right.

When he jerked on her hair pulling her way she winced but let him slide free of her mouth.

"Enough, up on the bed."

Without arguing she stood and walked to the bed dropping her dress as she went. When she lay back on the bed, all she was wearing was her garter belt, hose and high heels. When he crawled between her legs she pushed against him, letting him feel the wetness between her legs.

"You are testing my will power sweetheart, do you have any idea how much I want you?"

Pushing herself harder against him she moaned, "oh yes, if it's anything close to how much I want you…oh yes I understand. Please Ron; don't make me wait any longer."

He groaned and pushed the head of his cock against her entrance, his eyes nearly rolling back in his head. "Baby this is going to hurt the first time but I promise it will be better the second time."

She opened her mouth to tell him it was okay, it wasn't going to hurt; she'd done this before, just as he shoved inside her. The pain of her virginity being ripped apart made her gasp aloud, first from the pain but second from the shock of the moment. Hell she's had sex before, what was going on.

She closed her eyes and dropped her head back on the pillow; she felt his lips kissing her cheeks and his thumbs brushing away the tears. He kept telling her how sorry he was he'd hurt her, but when he began to move inside her, she forgot exactly what he should be sorry for.

She could feel the orgasm building inside her and when she dug her nails into his back and wrapped her legs around his waist he moaned in her ear. "I'm sorry this isn't going to last long, but oh baby you feel so good."

Leaning up she bit his ear, "harder Ron, I'm so close." When his breathing increased along with his thrust she felt the wave of pleasure flow through his body and she didn't even realize her nails had drug down his back until he grunted and released himself inside her.

When they both lay panting she felt him pull her close and kiss her forehead. His breath caressed her as he spoke, "I promise next time it'll be better."

She laughed and rolled over to kiss his chest. "If it gets better, I don't like I'll live through it. Roll over and let me look at your back."

He chuckled and rolled to his side and let her fingers gently caress the stinging marks on his back. Honestly he didn't mind and in fact, that touch of pain had been the thing that sent him over the edge. He heard her tsking and rolled back over pulling her close, "don't worry about it. Trust me I enjoyed it. Go to sleep sweetheart."

She closed her eyes snuggling into his side. The feeling of contentment was overwhelming and she just knew that this was where she belonged. Somehow she'd figure out what went wrong, not only for the sake of her own life, but for whatever became of the man next to her.

She had no idea what jolted her awake, but something did and when she sat up in bed, the only thing that seemed to be out of the normal was the fact she wasn't in her own bed. The moon light was filtering through the window and the breeze was freezing. Frowning she got up and moved to the window to close it when the chilling wind blew through the open window and with a whispered voice. _Look behind you, all will be revealed._

Turning slowly she looked back at the bed. Ron was laying on his stomach his head turned away from her, his body bathed in moonlight. His body was pale as death and the bloody scratches on his back out stood out in relief. Feeling that something wasn't right, she walked to the edge of the bed and laid her hand on his back. It was cold as ice and there was no rise and fall with his breathing. The wind came again bringing with it the voice; _did you think you could change anything? Did you think that by trying to change anything you could cause someone else's death? The future is set and only he can change the future._

She jerked his hand off his back and quickly moved around the room picking up her clothes. She had to get out of here; she knew deep down that whatever that voice meant it couldn't be true, she knew he didn't die, what she'd dreamed was not anything but a memory. She had to get out of here, she couldn't face that her life depended on him doing or not doing something.

Slipping out the door she glanced back up at his window and gasped when she realized that the moon wasn't even facing that side of the house. Turning she ran down the road to where she was staying. The terror of the last few moments driving her on, she had to talk to someone, but who? Shauna didn't believe her, and even if she did, she was too wrapped up in Lew. There had to be someone.

Pulling her shoes off, she tip-toed up the stairs and into her room, quickly undressing she pulled her robe around her and sat staring out the window. She knew there would be no sleep tonight so she had more than enough time to come up with her next course of action. Rubbing her head she went to the desk and wrote a quick note for Shauna and then moved to put on her uniform. She'd learned a long time ago that the best way to handle a problem was to work until the problem went away.

Moving to Shauna's room she cracked the door to peek inside to see Lew's back to her and she knew that Shauna was on the other side of him. She dropped the note on the table next to the bed and smiled down at her friend. Their sleep was peaceful and the small smile on both of their faces caused her to realize they were both in love.

Heading out of the house she laughed at the fact her friend was happy. She was also glad that she'd found love and it was being given back to her. Frowning she wondered what happened to her friend after she died? Reaching for the door to the hospital her hand froze and the chill went down her spine as the voice from somewhere else came again.

_I found that the necklace had belonged to Lewis's previous wife, it was tragic really. She was killed in a car accident sometime around 1953. Really sad, they were in love and the necklace had belonged to her friend…_

She rubbed her chest and tried not to cry, she'd just put it together, her death would change everything; Shauna would marry Lew, but only be happy for those few years. No, this couldn't happen; she wouldn't let her death destroy everyone else.


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 10

Ron felt the chill of the morning breeze caress his back and cracking open an eye he noticed the light in the room was filled with the dim light of early morning. Smiling he reached across the bed to caress Jamie, he was going to enjoy making love to her in the early morning.

When his hand encountered nothing but an empty bed he suddenly jarred himself awake and looked over at the empty bed. The sheets had been thrown back and her pillow was tossed on the floor, other than that, the room appeared like he'd been the only one sleeping here. Slamming his fist against the bed he let his head drop back on the pillow trying to control his frustration. How dare she get up and leave him in the middle of the night, what hadn't he said, what hadn't he done to tell her how he felt?

The frustration began to ebb as he realized that he'd done and said everything he could, so maybe it was the fact she had been frightened. He'd heard that women didn't deal well with their first time and he had been rougher than he should have. He tried to rub away the last sleep from his body and get his mind to function. The only thing for him to do was go and see her, take her out today for a picnic or something and show her that she really was all he wanted.

Smiling he pushed out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. A plan had formed and he felt so much better now that he had a plan.

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"Jaime, what you doin' here? Come on you need to wake up."

She pried her eyes open to see dark eyes staring down at her. Gasping she pushed up and started backing away only to run into a wall, "no please don't hurt me anymore…I'm sorry."

"It's okay Jamie, calm down, you ain't awake yet, just breathe, ain't no body going to hurt ya." Doc held out his hands and waited for her to breathing to slow and the glazed look in her eyes to pass. When he saw she was looking at him and recognizing him for who he was, he grasped her hand and pulled her up. "What you doing here? Since when do you sleep in the supply room?"

"Gene, oh my God, it's you, uh what time is it?"

"It's nine, but that doesn't answer the question about what are you doing sleeping in the supply closet?"

"I…I came to work late and I was tired so I just thought I would sit down for a few minutes, but then…I don't know I guess I just fell asleep. Uh, I need to get back to work."

When she started to stand Gene grabbed her arm and stopped her. "Wait Jamie; just tell me what is going on? Honestly you don't look so great right now."

She felt her muscles go weak and she dropped down on the nearest crate. "I...I …I just think I'm tired Gene and not thinking real clear so I don't won't to worry you or bother you with my problems."

He knelt at her feet and pulled her hands into his, "it ain't no bother, now tell me what's wrong?"

She hadn't even noticed she begun to cry until he wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Gene, I can't tell you, you'll think I'm crazy."

He smiled, "honey I'm Cajun, there isn't nothing that would make me think you was crazy. So, why don't you try me?"

Staring into his calm dark orbs, she had a sense of calm come over her. Something about this seemed too good to be believed, but she had to try to tell the story to someone, otherwise she was going to lose her mind. Taking a deep breath, she gave a smile, "okay Gene, but just remember I warned you this would sound crazy. Okay here's the first test, do you believe that if someone screws up there life so badly they might be granted another chance to correct it?"

He frowned, "well I never gave it much thought, but I can remember people back home coming to my grandmother and talking about having dreams that seemed real, almost like they were there living them."

She nodded, at least he hadn't run screaming from the room just yet, "that's exactly what I'm talking about. You see, I was having these dreams, except I wasn't here having them, I was somewhere else, actually sometime else dreaming about things here." She held up her hands, "okay I can see you're confused, look I was living sixty plus years in the future dreaming about this, the past. I think you were there, but the bottom line is, I die in this future and I think I was sent back to give me, and some others another chance. But you see I've started having dreams here that make me think I can do nothing and if I try to change my future, I might hurt someone else." When she blurted out everything, she gave him a grin, "see I'm crazy."

Roe shook his head and stood, he began to pace the confines of the small room. "No I don't think you're crazy, but I think that you might be onto something. My grandmother always told those people that the past had something to tell us. Do you know how you died?"

"Uh, I think I'm shot, it's later in the war and I'm riding in a jeep but I have no idea where I am or anything other than the man driving is Grant."

Roe nodded again and mumbled under his breath for a moment. "Okay then, we just need to keep you out of a jeep that has Grant in it, should be simple enough, tell me what else you remember."

"Ha, very funny if it was that simple I'd have stayed in England and it would turn out okay, except there is a little hitch I forgot to mention." When he raised an eyebrow and waited she sighed, "okay but you can't raise your voice…it involves Speirs."

"Speirs? What's he got to do with this?"

"Hmm, well see we had a fight and he's mad at me over something really important and he's calling me names and the last thing I remember was him saying 'no' the door slamming and I'm alone."

Roe tapped his fingers against the wall and thought for a moment, "okay so obviously the two of you are together as a couple when this happens, but you say you don't remember what caused the fight?"

"Uh, no, that has never been revealed, I just know that for the first time ever I'm terrified of him and there's this feeling of sadness. See it all started with this necklace."

Roe held up his hands, "okay now there's a necklace involved? I'm really confused. Okay so what about this, we just take a day at a time, try to figure out what causes the fight and if we can prevent the fight then we change the future."

She laughed and hugged him, "you know you make it all sound so simple, but trust me, more than my life depends on us getting this right."

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"I told you yesterday and I'll tell you again today, I've not seen her since you and she left the pub two nights ago. She's not been home, she's not been at work, and I have no idea where she is. Now, if you don't have any other interrogations to conduct on me, I need to get ready for the jump."

Ron jumped back out of the way as Shauna stomped past him. He probably had come on a little harder than he meant to, but damn it he was frustrated. Aldbourne wasn't that big of a town and she was only one woman, but she managed to stay hidden from everyone and now they were jumping into Holland tomorrow and he still had no idea where he stood with her. _Well she gave you her virginity, so I think you stand pretty well, but then again, she did up and leave in the middle of the night. Could there be someone else?_ Growling in his throat he pushed out of the hospital and nearly ran over Doc Roe who was headed inside.

"Oh excuse me sir."

Speirs started to snap at the man until he realized who it was. "Roe, have you seen Jamie?"

"Uh, no sir, not in a couple of days now, but then again I've been real busy what with the jump and all, you want me to pass on a message if I see her?"

Thinking for a moment, he shook his head, "no that's alright just let her know I'm looking for her."

Roe stood watching until he was sure Speirs was out of sight before turning to look at the corner of the next building, "alright you can come out now."

Jamie stepped around the corner and sighed, "damn he really is determined, I was just lucky enough to hear him yelling at Shauna and was able to dart out the back."

"How long you going to avoid the man? You know you're just making him more determined by playing hard to get, why don't you just talk to him?"

She shrugged and followed him into the hospital, "I don't know, maybe I'm just scared; I'm not sure what to say or not to say with him."

"About time you got here, oh and you owe me big time, I just dealt with another ass chewing from your favorite man. When are you going to talk to him?"

She looked between Roe's expectant face and Shauna's pissed off one and threw up her hands. "Fine, I'll talk to him, the next time I see him I won't run and hide, I promise."

Shauna snorted, "yeah well since we're jumping tomorrow you can say that now, knowing he won't have time to chase you down again."

"Yeah well maybe that thought crossed my mind."

"Crossed it," Shauna was practically screaming the words, "hell it did a Mexican Hat dance across it. Don't you think you can fool me for one minute, you will deal with him or the next time I'll tell him exactly where to find you!"

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"Well this beats the last time we jumped, hey the sun is shining and they tell us no one will be shooting at us. Ha, all war should be this way."

She cracked one eye open to look at Bill who was grinning like a fool. "Yeah right, no one will be shooting at us; I'll believe it when I see it."

"Hey would you look at that…ain't that Popeye?"

All of them stood to stare at Popeye Wynn who'd somehow managed to escape the hospital to rejoin the rest of Easy just in time to jump. As all the men gathered around to welcome him back, only a couple of people noticed who he'd arrived with; Captain Sobel.

"Damn and I thought we were rid of him. What's he doing here?"

Lipton shrugged, "heard they made him the Regimental supply officer. Don't worry boys, just go about your business and stay out of his way."

Jamie thought she'd never heard better advice and moved quickly to try and join the large group of men milling about, hoping that he wouldn't notice her. Glancing over her shoulder, she didn't see him anymore and released the breath she'd been holding. Turning around she decided to head back to where Easy was forming up, just to run into someone.

Hands grabbed her arms squeezing harder than necessary, "hey that hurts, let me go."

Sobel smiled down at her, the wicked intent gleaming in his eyes as he tightened his hold on her arms. "Well what do we have here? Oh yes, you're the Easy girl?" He snickered at his own joke.

"You need to let me go, the guys are waiting on me." She was going to remain calm, the last thing she wanted to do was lose her temper, and it would only play into his power games.

Sobel glanced at the men standing waiting on Jamie, he didn't recognize them. Shrugging he turned his attention back to the woman currently being held in his hands. "Really well they can wait Lieutenant, right now you are talking to a superior officer and you will do as I say."

"Really, I thought we played this before, I'm sure it's called rape in some places. As far as superior officer goes you can take that rank and shove it."

Before she could react, Sobel shoved her hard causing her to fall back into the bumper of the jeep, banging her thigh hard against the unmoving metal. Reaching down she rubbed her thigh and kept her eyes on Sobel, surely he wouldn't do anything stupid in front of everyone, but just as the thought passed through her brain he grabbed her arm and began to drag her behind the truck.

"Hey sir, you can't take her we need to get our gear on."

Sobel stopped and turned his cold obsidian eyes on Lipton, "I'll do what I want with her Sergeant, now I suggest you move on."

Jamie looked between Sobel and Lipton and shook her head, pleading with the man to walk away; there was no reason for him to get into trouble over her. She saw Lipton's lip thin and then he gave a small nod and turned away. Beside her Sobel laughed, "so now that he's gone, you and I have some unfinished business."

Pinning her against the truck with the weight of his body he used his hands to slip down her sides and cup her breast squeezing them hard enough to cause her to gasp. "Ah, so you're not the little ice princess you claim to be. Well maybe we should take this elsewhere."

"You can't do this; I have to be on the jump." She tried to keep the panic from her voice as she noticed fewer and fewer soldiers milling around. If she didn't get away from him quickly she would miss the jump.

Giving her nipple a hard pinch, he pulled her attention back to him. "You don't have to do anything I don't let you do."

"You know Sobel, I'd have thought you would have learned your lesson the last time, leave the woman alone."

Jamie felt nearly faint with relief, never in her life had she been so happy to see Ron. She gave Sobel a smile and tried to slip out from under him only for him to grab her arm and pull her back.

"You know Speirs; this doesn't concern you, so beat it."

Ron stepped closer and lowered his voice; his hand reaching out to gently take Jamie's other arm. "Oh it does concern me, see the lady and I are a couple and I take offense to other men touching what's mine, so why don't you step away before you really get hurt this time."

Jamie watched as the indecision warred on Sobel's face until he finally growled and released her allowing Ron to pull her into his side. Turning to walk away, he pointed at Ron before retreating, "this isn't over Speirs."

Ron watched Sobel until he was out of sight then immediately released Jamie and stepped away from her. He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching for her again when she stumbled slightly.

"I guess I owe you huge thanks for that. I have no idea why that man won't leave me alone."

He nodded and remained silent for a moment. He honestly wasn't sure what he wanted to say, he wanted answers from her but this wasn't the time. "Okay then well I'll rejoin my unit; try to stay out of trouble." When he turned to leave her calling his name stopped him. Sighing he turned to face her, "what?"

Jamie raised her hand to touch him, but the coldness in his voice had her changing her mind. "Nothing, just have a good jump." Before he could respond, she ran towards the spot she knew the rest of Easy would be waiting. There was no way she was going to wait around for him to say something else nasty to her.

Ron watched her run from him and growled in frustration. He hadn't meant to scare her or hurt her, he just couldn't afford to be distracted right now, but he knew they had to talk. Turning he headed back to his company and promised himself that soon they would sit down and talk about why she ran from him.


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 11

The minute he felt the wheels of the aircraft leave the ground he wanted to hit his head against the side of the plane. He'd been handed the perfect opportunity to talk to her, she'd been right in front of him, vulnerable and willing, hell she'd even reached out to touch him, yet what did he do? Walked away from her like a fool.

He felt the man next to him shift away from him, cast a quick glance at the man, and saw fear in his eyes. Frowning he turned his full attention to the man and raised an eyebrow in question.

"Uh nothing sir, you just were, well you were growling and uh I wasn't sure if maybe I'd done something?"

Ron shook his head and turned away from the soldier. He was going to have to take care of her when he got on the ground. They were all using close to the same drop zone so there might be a good chance of finding her. Frowning he realized that chance was only as good as the intelligence stating they weren't going into a hostile area.

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Frustrated she tugged the chute out of the tree causing it to land mostly on her. Growling she ripped it off her and stomped it to the ground. The stupid thing was acting like a living creature; she seemed not to be able to escape it. Reaching for her bag movement off to her left caught her attention. Looking up her eyes met Ron's. She found herself unsure of what to do. She wanted to talk to him, but nothing in his face gave her a sign that he would be receptive to her.

Glancing over her shoulder, she didn't see any of Easy near her so taking a chance she took a couple of steps toward him. When he didn't move she sighed and stopped walking. Watching him for any kind of sign, she finally threw her hands up, "you know what Ron, I'm glad you're okay, but when you make up your mind, come find me." Turning she walked away without waiting for a response, she didn't need the hassle, besides, it wasn't like she didn't already know who this story was going to end.

Still stomping she met Gene half way across the field and all Gene did was jump out of her way, then started walking behind her. "Uh you want to…"

"No Gene, shut up for a while." She walked on in silence for a moment before stopping and turning around, "uh where are we going?"

He shrugged and pointed behind her. "Don't know really so maybe we should keep up. Let's get going."

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"Well at least Lew was right about something, the people of Eindhoven are very happy to see us." Jaime laughed and sidestepped another person trying to kiss and laughed when Shauna was grabbed and bent back by some young boy.

Gene nudged her further down the street and tried to keep her protected as they went. "So you gonna tell me what had you so mad?"

The smile disappeared from her face and immediately the pissed off look returned, "Ron."

"Hmm, yeah I kind of guessed that when I saw you staring at him. Anyway, to change the subject, since you are from the future so to speak and you were having all these dreams, wouldn't that mean you'd be able to tell if we were going to run into trouble?"

Jamie stopped walking and sighed, "Gene I told you it didn't work that way. Hell I can't even tell you what happened to cause Ron and us to break up. Trust me if it was that easy I would be sleeping much more. Hey, what's going on over there?"

In the middle of the town a large crowd had formed and everyone was chanting and throwing their fist in the air. Moving around the edge of the crowd, she tried to peek over or around to see what was going on. Looking at Gene she shrugged, "I can't see anything, can you?"

Gene started to shake his head no when he finally did get a glimpse of what was going on inside the circle. Not giving Jamie any explanation he grabbed her arm and tugged her down the street, "come on need to keep moving, this doesn't concern us."

"Gene, stop, stop a minute you're dragging me, what was happening tell me." She finally realized he wasn't stopping and jerked her arm out of his hand. "Jesus Gene what's gotten into you, what's happened?"

Gene looked back at the crowd, then at her and then further down the road. It was obvious whatever he'd seen he wasn't about to share. Sighing she crossed her arms, "fine, I will not move until you tell me what is going on back there."

"They are shaving the heads of the women who slept with the Germans."

Both Gene and her swung around to face a motherly looking woman holding a small infant in her arms. The woman's eyes were red from tears she'd shed and she was doing her best not to look in that direction.

Jamie cleared her throat, "they're what? Shaving their heads? Why, that is barbaric."

The woman gave a sad smile and gentle swayed on her feet in an effort to rock the baby in her arms. "Barbaric or not, that's what's happening, my daughter, Elisa is there. This is her son, Michael. I'm waiting to they run her out of town then I'll meet her there with him and some money. It's the least I can do."

The baby in her arms seemed content and Jamie reached out to brush her fingers softly across his head. "Can I…can I hold him?"

The woman transferred the small bundle into her arms and Jamie lifted him tighter and smelled his sweet baby smell. She had to fight to keep the tears from her eyes and she realized she'd die in this life long before she ever held her own baby. Kissing his soft head she gasped as his eyes opened to reveal dark hazel eyes. Lifting her head she looked at the older woman who had tears in her eyes. "Tell me where they will run them out of town, give me the money and I'll meet her there. You obviously are trying to hide him from everyone, let me do this."

Beside her Gene started to argue that she couldn't do that, they had to keep moving. "Shut up Gene, I'll meet you guys later or better yet, I'll stay here in Eindhoven, I think I'm going to be needed here more anyway."

"Damn it Jamie, what am supposed to tell Captain Winters?"

"I don't care, tell him you lost me or tell Nixon and let him deal with Winters. Gene I have to do this, I know you don't understand and I can't explain right now but I will tell you why later. I promise." She tried to hear what he mumbled under his breath, but when he finally nodded she released the breath she'd been holding. "Go Gene, before someone misses you, I'll be fine, remember Eindhoven has been liberated. I'll find you, I promise."

"Yeah well you better, I'll tell Nixon and he can deal with Winters and Shauna, no way am I telling her." Gene kissed her on the cheek and headed down the street leaving Jamie and the woman alone.

"Okay, so tell me where I need to go."

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She stood waiting by the edge of the building as they shoved six women out of the town. Some already had their babies and began the slow walk out of town, trying to comfort the crying infant in their arms. It honestly didn't matter to her if Elisa had slept with a German or not, the fact that this small boy in her arms was going to suffer was all that mattered, especially when she knew she'd never see her own child born. "Shh, it's okay little one; you'll be with mama in just a moment.

She waited till there was only one woman left and she seemed to be searching for something. Stepping around the corner she quickly made her way to the road, "Elisa, I'm here with Michael, your mother sent me." Passing the baby over to his mother was harder than she'd thought it would be and she had to push away the pain of letting him go. "Here is the money she wanted you to have, and here is a bag of food, that's from me. She also wants you to know that she's thankful for the sacrifices you made while the Germans were here and once you get settled somewhere please let her know where you are."

Elisa hugged her baby and closed her eyes, ignoring the items that Jamie held out to her. "Why? I don't understand, you're American, why would you help me, you know what I did?"

"Because it doesn't matter to me, I'm a nurse, I don't take sides. Here take this and go. I have to meet up with my unit and well, you need to get away from here before they change their minds and do something worse."

Elisa gave a sad glance back at the town, "no they couldn't do anything worse. Losing hair, it grows back, but they've sent me away. Away from my mother, she's an older woman; they wouldn't even let me say good-bye." The girl shrugged and took the bags. "Thank you again. I hope that the war ends well for you."

Jamie didn't realize how long she'd stood alone on that road looking down it to where the girl had disappeared. Elisa had wished her well and that the war would end well for her, funny wish that. The war only ended in her death.

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By the time she made it back to the last place she'd seen any of Easy they were all gone and the sun was beginning to set. Taking off her helmet she rubbed her forehead, this wasn't going to be good.

"Come with me and I'll give you some place to stay tonight, it's the least I could do."

Jamie smiled at the old woman who'd managed to sneak up on her again. "Thank you, but I really need to find my unit."

The woman chuckled, "you can find them tomorrow, I don't believe that you'll want to be wandering around in the dark looking for them, that isn't safe for anyone. Come now dear, it's not like I have anyone else to care for."

Jamie picked up her medic bag and smiled, "alright then, lead the way."

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When the shelling started she grabbed the old woman's hand and pulled her under the solid wood dining table. "I don't understand who is shelling us?"

Jamie had to cup her hands to be heard over the explosions, "the Germans, they're trying to punish the people for being happy the Americans came." Screams from outside drew her attention and she crawled from under the table reaching for her bag. "Stay here under the table and away from the windows and I'll be back." Not taking time to think about what she was doing she ran out into the night.

She wasn't even sure where to start; the screams for help seemed to be coming from everywhere at once. The building across the street appeared to have taken a direct hit and a family was slowly crawling their way free. Rush to the father she helped him pull the wife free. Bending down she quickly checked the wife and wiped the blood away from the cut on her head. "Okay, just a scratch really you're going to be fine."

As she began to move away the woman grabbed her arm, "please you have to help us, my baby is still inside and I just can't…"

"Okay calm down. Stay here and I'll go." Jumping to her feet she ran around the side of the building looking for a potential opening. Finding a hole in the wall she shimmed through it and began to crawl and weave her way through the building listening for sounds. She felt the sharp edges tear at her clothes and skin. Finally she found the room, by some miracle it was still intact and the small bassinet up against the wall. Reaching in she grabbed the baby and cuddled her to her chest while she knocked the window out with her elbow, feeling the glass cut through her uniform and rake across her skin.

Climbing through the window she dropped the five feet to the ground and crouched low heading back to the front where the family was waiting. Passing them their baby she head down the street not waiting for a thank you. This was definitely going to be a very long night.

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"What do you mean she stayed behind Nix, stayed behind where?"

Nixon rubbed his head around the area where the bullet had grazed, it had been hurting but with Dick staring at him like it was his fault it had begun to pound. "Eindhoven. Look calm down Dick, she told Gene she had to do something and she'd catch up, maybe it just got too late for her to try."

"Yeah well he should have tried harder to stop her you've seen what they've been doing to Eindhoven all night. I swear Nix, that woman is going to get me to kill her."

Nixon frowned at Dick, "relax Dick, I'll bet woman she comes waltzing in here tomorrow morning without a scratch on her."

Dick shook his head and reserved comment. If she did come waltzing in tomorrow morning he wasn't sure if he would hug her or chew her out for scaring him.

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"Welcome back and I think I speak for everyone when I say we're very happy to see you."

She snorted and put her hands on her hips, "funny Nix, your sarcasm is showing. Hey what happened to your head?"

"Nothing that important, machine gun round. Look, you need to head over and talk to Dick. We're going to be moving out to someplace called Schoonhoven or something like that in a few hours. Oh and Jamie, he's not a happy man."

Sighing she headed over to where Dick was standing with his back to her. "Hi Dick, Nix said you wanted to see me."

The look on Dick's face actually had her taking a step back, Nix hadn't been kidding he really was pissed off. "Well thank you for joining us Jamie. What were you thinking, do you think because you seem to know when you're going to die that it's okay to take risk?"

"No that wasn't it at all Dick; there was just something I had to do something I know you wouldn't understand. I didn't expect to be gone overnight, but the shelling…"

"Yes I know about that, you should see yourself. Uniform torn and bloody, are you hurt?

With that last question she saw all the anger run from his body. "I'm fine Dick, look I'm gonna find Gene, its okay and thanks for caring." She patted his arm and headed off to where she could hear the rest of Easy screaming her name.

****

_Schoonhoven, Holland_

"Well now this is kind of nice. We get to work out of a real building sleep on what makes a very good imitation of being beds, what more could you want?"

Gene laughed, "well I personally would love to be back in Louisiana myself. So you ever going to tell me what was so important you had to risk my life to stay in Eindhoven?"

"Ugh, I knew you were going to ask sooner or later. Okay so there was a little something I forgot to tell you. See I do remember what caused him to be upset but not the real why he said the things he did."

"Okay, so what did you forget to tell me?"

She sat on the corner of the desk, "see when I die, I'm pregnant. I don't know how far along but seems like I'd just confirmed it and told him. He doesn't believe me, calls me a whore and a liar. That's the part that has me so confused, the part where he thinks I'm lying."

"Well I guess that now explains the way you were acting when you saw the baby. Look, you know what happens but nothing is guaranteed to work out that way, we could still change things."

She laughed, "you really believe there is some change to change anything? I don't know Gene, I don't think there is. You know I think I'm resigned to my death, it's the negative things that seem to follow my death that has been disturbing."

"Okay what things?"

"Well for instance, Shauna marries Nixon but is killed in a car crash just a few years later."

"Okay I'm confused, how is that your fault?"

"She's wearing my necklace. Apparently the sadness the negative energy of my life is in that necklace. I have to figure a way to stop this."

Before Gene could answer a runner from battalion came in, "you guys need to get ready, word in their bringing in someone who was shot trying to cross the river. Looks bad, he'll be here in a few minutes."

Jamie jumped off the desk, "okay Gene head down to the next building, grab extra blankets, if he's been in the water we're gonna need them. I'll wait here." She watched Gene leave and the feeling of dread crept over her. There was foreboding in this, almost like it had been done before. Wiping her sweaty palms on her uniform she headed to the treatment room and began to lay out the items she thought she'd need.


	12. Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 12

She heard the men enter with the wounded man, yet she kept her back turned merely pointing to where they needed to put him down. She listened as they catalogued his injuries and the amount of morphine he'd had. Nodding she told them they could leave and she'd have help arriving in a moment. When the room was quiet except for the breathing of the wounded man, she looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath bracing herself for what she already knew she'd see.

Turning she heaved a sigh of relief that his head was turned away from her but there was no mistaking the dark hair of the curve of his jaw. Easing around the litter she leaned her hip against it and caressed his jaw, part of her was screaming to start treatment, but another part just wanted to touch him, allow herself the pleasure of touching without his condensing looks.

The pain radiating up her arm finally broke the spell and she slowly turned her head to see what was causing the pain. Gene stood gripping her arm and giving her a concerned look. "Oh Gene when did you get here?"

"I've been calling your name, what's wrong with you? We need to get the bullets out and get these wounds treated."

The pain coupled with the realization of him dying got her moving again. "Right sorry, give me the forceps, its better he stay unconscious while I do this. In fact put your weight on him in case he moves."

Bending to peer at his shoulder she glanced at his face only briefly then went about her mission to pull the bullet from his shoulder. Amazingly he never moved and she fell back on her training as a doctor and quickly removed the bullet dropping into the pan beside her. Wiping her forehead she looked at Gene, "okay everything else is a clean wound. Let's get some sulfur on them and then wrapped. You take care of that, I'll grab the penicillin then we'll move him into the other room."

Gene grabbed her arm, "you gonna be okay?"

She glanced down at Ron and then back and Gene smiling. "He's alive and he's gonna live I'm going to be fine."

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She had no idea how long she sat starting at him, it could have been minutes or hours for all she knew. Rubbing her eyes she knew she had to sleep and she couldn't stay here. Reaching out she grasp his hand and rubbed her fingers across the scratches on the back of his hand and the bruises he had on his knuckles. She didn't want to think about how he'd gotten those. She kissed each bruise and softly laid his hand back down. Laying a hand on his chest she leaned in and kissed his cheek. Brushing his ear with her lips she whispered the words she wished she had the guts to speak while he was awake.

"No matter what, I love you Ron. I don't know why but I do. When you wake up maybe you can get past your stubbornness and come to me for once." Kissing his lips softly she turned and left the room he was sleeping in, never seeing his eyes open with her departure.

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She felt the bed shift under her and rolled to her side. The feeling on someone softly brushing her hair away from her face had her waving her hand to get them to stop.

"I know you're tired sweetie, but if you don't get to the hospital he's going to kill someone."

Rolling over she saw Shauna sitting on the bed beside her smiling. "Oh, it's you, what do you want?"

"Well it seems you failed to tell anyone we had a special guest and needless to say he's raising hell and unless you get over there and calm him down, we're all in danger."

"What time is it, I have no idea what you talking about, what's going on?"

Shauna grabbed her arm and pulled her to a sitting position. "Well it would seem that Ron is extremely averse to letting anyone ship him back to Mourmelon. We need you to either calm him down or talk to the doctor. I can't do anything I've tried."

"Uh, okay then help me get to my feet, I've only had a few hours of sleep I'll go right now." Pulling her boots on she headed toward out the door wondering how she was going to calm down either him or the doctor.

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"Look, he's fine, he can stay and rest for a few days and then send him back to the unit."

The doctor didn't appear to be listening and his writing didn't slow. "Oh so now you're a doctor and can predict what a patient needs?"

Sighing she folded her arms. _Well actually I was a doctor in another life and he's just fine._ Instead calm words left her mouth, "no I'm not a doctor but have you talked to him? Has it occurred to you that if he's making threats he's probably fine and just needs to rest?"

The doctor snorted, "he needs to go back to Mourmelon period. Now take this paperwork in there and let him know."

She snatched the paper away and walked into the next room to see Ron sitting up against the headboard looking pissed. Wonderful and she was going to be the bearer of bad news. "Well I'm glad to see you're awake."

At the sound of her voice he turned his head and gave her a smile. "I'm glad it's you. If I had to see that doctor one more time, somebody was going to get hurt. I've missed you Jamie, come over here and let me show you how sorry I am."

She stayed next to the door and toyed with the paper in her hands. "I don't think you're going to be very happy to see me when you know why I'm here. I have your transfer papers. You're going back to Mourmelon."

The warm smile left his face as quickly as it had come, "so you're just going to let them send me away? Guess that makes it pretty simple for you, not having me around anymore."

"Jesus, this has nothing to do with what is going on between us and I argued for you to stay. I was overruled. Besides it will only be long enough for you to heal and threaten some other doctor and escape the hospital."

He didn't look any happier but waved her over. "Fine, I'll be back very soon you can count on that. Now as I was saying, why don't you come over here and let me touch you."

She laughed and walked over to lay the papers on the table and sit in the chair next to the bed. "Well I don't think you'll be showing me much, but you did you ever consider the fact that we might be back in Mourmelon before you can break out of the hospital?"

"Nope, but give me your hand."

She eyes him with suspicion but handed over her hand. He took her hand in his and pulled her close enough for him to touch her fingers to his lips. He gently kissed each tip of her fingers and turned her hand over and kissed her palm, letting his tongue gently touch her palm.

She couldn't control the shiver that passed through her body and her eyes slide closed. She felt him undo her uniform sleeve and slide up her arm. Her eyes popped open when his fingers touched the edge of the long gash on her arm. She watched as he pulled the sleeve up further and looked over the damage. "What happened?" The sweet teasing sound in his voice has disappeared and now was cold and demanding.

She sighed and slid her hand away from him. "Eindhoven. I was there when the Germans decided to punish the city. I was helping the injured and a piece of glass cut my arm. It's really not that big of a deal, Doc has taken a look at it, cleaned the wound and everything is okay."

"No it's not okay you need to stop taking stupid risk, what the hell were you still doing in Eindhoven? I thought Easy moved straight through there?"

"I stayed to help someone and got separated. Why all the questions?"

Ron rubbed a hand through his hair in frustration. "Damn it I thought you were told to stay with them and not go running off on your own. What the hell was so important to risk you life for?"

Jamie laughed and shook her head, "you've got some nerve accusing me of stupid acts. I'm not the one lying in bed shot from trying to swim a river. Besides you don't own me, I don't answer to you."

When she stood he grabbed her arm. "So you're just going to leave without telling me?"

"Yep that's right, have a nice trip back to Mourmelon." Turning she headed for the door but his voice stopped her.

"If you walk out right now don't think I'll ever let you walk back in."

Without turning she walked out the door making sure to slam it behind her. She got a slight twinge of satisfaction as she heard something hit the door. Walking down the hallway she managed to keep her emotions in control. Let him be mad at her, in the end this might work for both of them. Why in her first life she'd ever let him have that much control was beyond her. _Because you loved him, the same reason you're about to cry now._ Slamming out of the hospital she walked straight into Roe.

"Whoa Jamie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, you'll be relieved to know that Ron is being shipped to Mourmelon today. I'm going to bed. See you later Gene."

He watched her walk away thinking she was way to calm with this situation.

****

_Mourmelon, France_

"Do you know what I hold in my hands? Well since you don't I'll save you the guessing game, I hold four, count them four, 48 hour passes to England. That is one for you, me and Nix, oh yeah and one extra for anyone you'd want to bring."

"Hmm, sounds nice, I hope you and Nixon have a good time oh and don't do anything I wouldn't. Oh wait that would keep you from going, have a good time Shauna."

Shauna's normally warm chocolate eyes darkened to almost black. "Oh you are so not going to do this. Nixon went out of his way to get two extra passes and you little miss have been sitting in our room pouting ever since we got back. I've had it and if you won't ask him, then I will."

Jamie had to nearly jump the desk to grab Shauna before she made it out the door. "Oh please don't, he told me he didn't want to see me again and well we've been back for two weeks now and he has to know, I mean I saw him last night at the restaurant and he wouldn't even look my way."

"Oh sweetie, don't do this, let me talk to him. I promise you won't forget it."

Jamie let her arm go and walked back around the desk. "Fine, do what you want I won't beg you and I'm sure not about to beg him, but when he won't go don't tell you I didn't warn you."

Shauna smirked and laid down one of the passes in front of her. "Oh I'll consider myself warned." Spinning Shauna practically danced out of the room living Jamie with a bad feeling that she'd just been set up.

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"So I hear you didn't even want to try and ask me? Afraid are you?"

The voice so close in her ear had her gripping the glass in her hand tighter. "No not afraid, I just believe someone when they tell me never come back and besides you've not exactly been beating my door down."

He slid onto the stool next to her and pulled her legs around he had them bracketed between his. His hand rubbing a slow train up and down her thigh, "well you know a man can make a stupid mistake from time to time. I guess this was mine. You're going aren't you?"

Laying her hand over his she was able to stop his slow caress. "Well I suppose that all depends on if I've been given a good enough reason to go."

He smiled and leaned in to brush his lips across her neck. "Okay, I have an offer for you. The offer is you and me, alone and naked for 48 hours. Is that a good enough offer?"

She smiled and cupped his face between her hands, "hmm, that's an interesting offer, but I have a question, how are your wounds?"

He grinned and lifted her chin with his finger, "want to take me clothes off and find out?"

She dropped her hands, "so what I'm only good for a quick screw? Is that why you want to take me?"

His lips thinned and he growled, "damn it woman, what do I have to do to prove that I'm in love with you? What can I do to stop you from pushing me away?"

Sighing she shook her head, "I never said no. I just wanted to know how you felt and now…well I know. Yes I'll go with you and just so you know…I love you too?"

He laughed and kissed her softly. "Yeah I know I heard you in Holland."

"Oh you cheat, I was worried you were going to die or I would have kept quiet."

Kissing her quickly he stood, "yeah I know, have to love near death experiences. So I'll pick you up in the morning. Don't pack much."

She watched him walk out of the bar and then turned back to her drink, swallowing it in one go. She was in trouble now, that's for sure.

****

_London, England_

The bed beneath her was soft and the sheets rubbing against her naked body were nothing more than a soft caress. They had arrived late last night with Nixon and Shauna quickly disappearing into their room, while Ron and Jamie took their time. Oh there had been nothing missing in their lovemaking and her body was aching in the most wonderful places. Rolling to her back she reached across for Ron to find his side of the bed empty.

Pushing up to her elbow she could just make out his side of the bed through the closed drapes. Her hand coming in contact with cold sheets, not a trace of his body heat remained. Sighing she dropped back down on the mattress. She probably deserved this after she'd left him. Closing her eyes she tried to make herself to get up, but couldn't. After all the room was paid for, she might as well stay here and sleep for the next two days.

He quietly opened the door and saw that other than her having rolled to her back she was still asleep. That was what he wanted, it had taken a while for them to prepare the breakfast but now he was going to be able to serve her in bed, and the last thing he's wanted was for her to wake up and find him gone. Sitting the tray down on the table he quietly crossed the room to the bed and sat on the edge staring down at her.

Her face was soft and relaxed in sleep and his fingers itched to trace the delicate shape of her jaw. Instead those same fingers gently reached for her scared arm. He'd never brought it up again, but he wished she'd trust him enough to tell her what had happened. Oh he believed her that a piece of glass had done the damage, what he didn't know was why she'd stayed.

He'd watched her today on the train ride to London and how sad she'd looked at every child that passed. Did she feel like she was missing something by being with him? Did she think he'd never want those kinds of things for himself? Sighing he stood and headed into the bathroom to retrieve the robe. As much as he'd enjoy watching her eat naked, they'd never leave the room today if they did and there was something he needed to do.

Walking to the table he picked up a cup of coffee and went back to the bed, dropping the robe at the foot. "Okay sleepy head, I know it was a long night, but the coffees getting cold and well if you really want to stay in bed…"

Her eyes opened and the sleep slowly cleared from them, "you came back? I thought…"

Sitting down the cup he leaned in to kiss her. "You thought I'd left you? No, just went to get some breakfast and let's eat, London is a big town.

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He'd left her sitting at the café while he went to run the errand he said was critically important. Sighing she glanced at the tea in front of her and pushed it away. She'd had a bad feeling ever since she woke up this morning and it had only intensified as the day went. Part of her felt she knew what was going on with him, but the part who wanted to live in the moment refused to face it.

The lips that brushed her neck caused her to jump. "Gees, where do you go when you keep your thoughts to yourself woman?"

"I don't know I was just thinking, why do you insist in sneaking up on me?"

"Jamie I didn't. I called your name and even sat down beside you before I kissed you. What is your problem? You've been nervous the entire time we've been here? What's going on?"

She dropped her head into her hand and began to stack cubes of sugar with her other hand. "I don't know. I guess I'm just not sure what is going on between us? It…it doesn't make me comfortable not knowing where I stand."

Ron slowly reached for the hand she was using to stack the sugar and pulled it to his lips. "You are the woman I love, that's all you should worry about. Come on sweetheart, let's have diner in the room and well, desert we'll leave to ourselves."

Her green eyes met warm hazel ones and for just that moment in time she shivered with fear. She knew that sometime in the future they would stare at her with hate. Turning so dark she wasn't sure where the iris and pupil met. But for this moment in time, nothing but love and desire shown in his eyes, this would have to be enough. Smiling she pulled her hand free, "okay, that sounds very nice."

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He'd watched her through diner and had enjoyed the teasing strokes to her skin. The box in his pocket was weighing heavy and demanded his attention. Standing he pulled her to her feet, bringing her body flush with his. His lips finding her neck, his blood beginning to boil with the sound of her sighs, "come here a moment."

Pulling her with him he placed her in front of the full length mirror and moved his hands to the zipper of her dress. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Unzipping the dress he let it drop to her feet, taking in the beauty of her body encased in just a bra and garter belt. He slowly ran his hands down her arms to her hand and entwined her fingers with his. "I love you Jamie, I feel like you've always belonged to me and I know now isn't the time for strong sentiment, but I have something for you."

She closed her eyes and refused to open them even when he stepped away from her, his heat leaving her back for only a moment, then he was back, his lips brushing the side of her neck, his words caressing her, "I hope you like it." She felt the weight of the necklace settle around her neck and the tears leaked from the corner of her eyes. Slowly she opened her eyes and met his in the mirror. "It's beautiful Ron, thank you. I'll never take it off. But tell me, why me? Out of all the women you know, why love me this way?"

Behind her he shrugged, "I told you, I can't explain it, but in you I've found something I can't name something I've always wanted."

"Answer me this, will you always love me, will you always believe me no matter what?"

His gaze met hers in the mirror, his determined showing not one moment of doubt, hers unsure of the answer. "Jamie, I love you, there is nothing you could do or say that would make me doubt that."

Nodding her head she heard the voice in her mind once again, _alright then, something happens, what is so bad that he turns against you. You better find out before its' all too late._

The necklace was just as she remembered. But this time it was his fingers stroked across the design, the two emeralds in the setting glittering in the dim light. "When I saw it, all I could think of was it around your neck while I poured myself inside you. I want you, now, here just like this."

She bent her head to kiss his finger then lifted her eyes to meet his in the mirror. "Yes Ron, just like this."

She closed her eyes as his hands freed her breast from the bra and dropped it to the floor. His fingers softly caressed her nipples and ran slowly under her breast and further down her ribs, stopping at her navel. She felt him move in front of her and his hands slid down her thighs the brush of his uniform against her legs caused her to shiver. The first brush of his mouth across her swollen folds had her gripping his hair and calling his name. Opening her eyes she watched his back in the mirror, her hand dug into his hair, his arms wrapped around her thighs. Closing her eyes she gave all of herself into the passion she was feeling.

Ron felt her body sway into him and tore his mouth free of her, standing he bent and picked her up in his arms carrying her to the bed. Gently laying her on the sheets he stood back and slowly began to remove his uniform, her heated gaze upon him as each inch of skin was revealed made him even harder. Finally as the last article of clothing dropped to the floor he crawled onto the bed beside her, his hand stroking down her stomach in small circles. "Tell me what you want baby? Whatever it is, I'll give it to you."

"I want nothing but you Ron, now and forever."

She felt the weight of his body settle over her, the hardness of his body stroking against her. The simple feel of the hair on his legs stroking against her legs was sending her higher. When he entered her, the ache from last night only added to the pleasurable stretch of his invasion. Pushing up against him she took him deeper, her teeth taking small bites from his shoulder.

He felt her teeth nip along his shoulder and longed to feel her nails score his back. But she'd broken then off and all he felt was her fingers dig deep into the muscles of his back. He surged harder into her, wanting for that moment to be as close to her as possible. She was his life, without her nothing would matter. Leaning down he nipped her ear, "tell my baby, say what I need to hear."

"I love you Ron. I need you, you are mine and I'm yours always."

Her last words were spoken in pants and her body tightened in response to his strokes. He felt the tension build from the small of his back and down into his legs, surging him forward into her as her orgasm gripped him, milking him, his name but a sigh on her lips. With one last surge he poured himself inside her. Wish for just a moment it truly was inside her rather than the condom encasing him.

****

_Mourmelon, France_

Gene watched her silently as they packed the few bags they could find, every supply more priceless than the last. Shauna had just left carrying twelve aid bags and was going to give them to the first medics she came across. The word had come shortly before five they would be moving out for destination unknown in a few hours. They were to gather every last supply they could and be at the trucks prepared to move no later than midnight.

Jamie had been quiet ever since she'd returned from England and Gene was worried, he'd seen the necklace around her neck and knew that was just another piece of the puzzle falling into place. He'd wanted to ask her about it but there never seemed to be a good time. Finally he filled the last bag and stood watching her. "Can I ask if what you have around your neck is a good thing or a bad thing?"

She stood and faced him, her face devoid of color except for her green eyes shining in the light. "It's the final piece of the mystery. My fate has been set in motion with no clear picture of a way to change the end." Walking over she kissed him on the cheek. "This discussion is for later Gene; right now we have a job to do."


	13. Chapter 13

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 13

Shauna sat beside her in the truck, silently smoking and pressing harder against Jamie's side trying to steal what little warmth could be found. They'd been allowed to travel only to the main drop point with Easy then they'd been taken away and moved to another truck and were told they were continuing on to Bastogne.

She'd stood silently beside the truck as Shauna and Nixon parted, their foreheads resting against each other, their hands joined. There was no kiss, but those simple touches said everything. Here were two people desperately in love, yet if she didn't think fast there would be nothing but unhappiness for the two of them. The sad thing was as happy as part of her was for her friend another part of hated Shauna.

In Nixon Shauna had found what Jamie would never have, a man who loved her no matter what, a man that only desired to be with her. She'd seen Ron at the drop point and had been almost desperate to run to him, feel his arms around her just one more time before they were separated, but something in his look and actions told her that would be a bad decision.

On the ride back on the boat, she'd felt Ron slowly pull away from her. Oh not physically, but emotionally he became distant, so much that when they finally arrived back in France he'd escorted her home and left her there without so much as a kiss. Then today on the road, his eyes had met hers and for a moment her heart had soared at the thought he might say good-bye, then just as quickly it crashed. He turned away without as much as a nod in her direction.

Looking out of the truck she could see the snow softly falling and the road was dark around them except for the truck following.

"Sad isn't it?"

Turning her head she glanced at Shauna, who waved her hand at the back of the truck toward the falling snow. "Sad, that Christmas is only a few weeks away and we should all be warm in France, instead we've left our men somewhere out in the woods, while we are driven into Bastogne to run the hospital."

She shrugged, "I don't know if I'd call it sad or not, we're just doing our jobs."

"He didn't tell you good-bye did he?"

"What, how did you know? I thought you were too busy saying good-bye to Nix to notice anything."

Shauna shrugged, "you're too quiet and you only get that way when something is really bothering you. So since you confirmed he didn't' say good-bye, mind telling me what happened in England? The two of you didn't seem that into each other on the way back."

"I don't know you'd have to ask him. I was perfectly fine; he began to pull away as we got closer to England. He is just so confusing. Look, can we just not talk about his right now?"

Shauna finished her cigarette and tossed it out the back. "Sure no problem, looks like we're here anyway so we can talk about it later."

Jamie sat as everyone around her unloaded. She had another one of her feelings, something bad would happen here and she was helpless to stop it. Reaching up she fell back into a habit she'd not even realized she'd had, and stroked the necklace with her fingers.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_You stupid idiot, you did it again you let her walk away without even saying good-bye? Do you realize any number of things could happen to her…to you for that matter and what did you do…nothing?_ He hated his inner voice, not because it was talking, but because it was right in this case. He could still see the hurt in her eyes when he turned away on the road. What was wrong with him? He'd seen Nixon and Shauna saying good-bye, yet he couldn't make himself take those few steps that would have brought him to her side.

Moving amongst his men watching as they dug in he wondered if there was some way to get word to her. He'd screwed up and needed to make it right, at least tell her he was sorry and he'd been wrong not to publically acknowledge her. Turning away he started toward the battalion CP, Nixon could pass something to her couldn't he? He'd only taken a couple of steps when the pain radiated through his chest and down his arm. Something was wrong? Then as quickly it passed. Looking around he shook his head, the trip to battalion could wait, he needed to talk to his medic.

****

_December 20__th_

"Okay so which shift do you want night or day?"

Jamie pushed up from where she had been kneeling. "I'll take whatever you don't want, but nights are a little better for me, besides, if Nix can get into town it's more likely during the day."

"So that works for me, did you hear the news? They say were completely surrounded and cut off. If we don't get a supply drop we're going to run out of everything except wounded."

Brushing her hair out of her face she stretched and popped her vertebrae. "Yeah I'd heard Renee and I were discussing it today. She's gone to talk to some families she knows to find liquor and materials that can be turned into bandages. That's all we can do for now. Have you heard from Nixon?"

Shauna blushed and pulled a letter from her pocket. "Well a runner dropped this off this morning and I've not read it yet, but still just hearing from him is enough for now."

"Shauna, I know this isn't a good time to discuss this but have you thought about after the war? I mean he's still married isn't he?"

Shauna shoved the letter back in her pocket and pulled out a half smoked cigarette. "You know I'm heading outside to finish this. I really don't need this, just because Ron won't speak to you; don't take your negative feelings out on those of us who are happy."

"Shauna, wait. I didn't mean anything." Sighing she watched her friend climb the stairs to the outside.

"You know, sometimes a friend should just be that, a friend."

Turning she found Renee standing behind her looking at Shauna's retreating back. "You heard huh?"

Renee bent to check the soldier in the bed. "Yes, I heard. You want to be her friend, well then you should let her enjoy the happiness she's found here. The future will take care of its self; all we have is the right now."

"Funny you sound like another friend of mine, that's exactly something he would say. Maybe I should introduce the two of you. I know you're right Renee, but she's my friend and I don't want her hurt."

Renee shrugged, "everyone gets hurt in life, it's how you live with those hurts that proves who you are. Being her friend Jamie, just as she has been yours."

Nodding she turned and headed up the stairs to find Shauna leaning against the wall wiping her face. Without speaking she leaned against the wall next to her. Finally she sighed, "I'm sorry, you're right, I should be happy for you. He's a wonderful man and you know what the future will take care of its self."

Shauna smiled and offered her the cigarette she'd yet to light. "Okay, truce. I don't ask about you and Ron, you don't tell me to stay away from Nixon."

****

_December 22__nd_

"Jamie, hey come on wake up. I don't think falling asleep on your feet is the answer."

She slowly opened her eyes to meet the black orbs of Roe. Blinking a couple of times she smiled, "it really is you, I thought I was dreaming." She wrapped her arms around him and hugging him close. "Oh I've missed you so much. Wait, if you're here now, this can't be good."

"No, I brought in a soldier and well I need to pick up some supplies, but from the looks of this place you might not have much to offer."

She looked around the room and finally spotted Renee moving across and called out to the woman. "I want you to meet Renee; I think the two of you will get along very well."

When the other woman stopped beside them, Jamie smiled and grabbed Gene's hand. "Renee this is my friend Eugene, the one I was telling you about. He needs some supplies and I thought you might be able to help him out."

Renee shook Gene's hand and then nodded, "I don't have much, but come with me and let's see what we can find."

As she watched the two of them headed further back into the church she heard Shauna chuckle beside her. "Well, well, look at who is the romantic here. Are you trying to hook them up or what?"

She laughed and moved toward the stairs, "maybe, you have to admit, they look cute together."

"Yeah and does Gene know you're match making?"

"Nope and that makes it even better. Hush, here he comes."

Gene stopped long enough to say good-bye to them, pick up a letter from Shauna and head back to the jeep that was waiting on him. Shauna waited until the jeep was down the street and finally turned and nudged Jamie. "Look you're dead on your feet, why don't you actually try laying down and sleeping this time, I'll take an extra hour."

"Yeah maybe you're right. Gene caught me asleep on my feet, literally. I'll catch an hour and then be back."

"Jamie, before you go, have you heard from him?"

She shook her head, "nope nor did I really expect to, it's just not his style I think. Sad huh, I'm mopping around after a man who has little to no desire to speak with me. Could I be more pathetic? I'll see you in an hour."

Shauna watched her walk away hoping that the letter she sent to Nixon might do some good.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

He'd finally found the time to sit down and write her a letter. He thought it was good, even if he did say so himself. He wanted to get it to Nixon so that maybe she'd get it by Christmas. He didn't know why he'd waited this long. He'd tried to find the words to tell her how he felt, but somehow even saying I love you was empty after the way he'd walked away from her. His need to protect himself overrode everything else.

As he neared the battalion CP he realized that Winters and Nixon were alone, huddled together trying to share the small warmth offered by the heater they were using to make coffee. Silently he approached and once he was within hearing range, he immediately wished he'd made more noise.

"What's up Lew, I thought you would be happy with getting a letter from Shauna."

"Hmm, yeah normally I would be, but this one has me concerned, oh not for Shauna but for Jamie. Most of this letter is about her. Shauna writes that she's sad and out of it, her words not mine." Refolding the letter Nixon shoved it into his pocket. "I'm telling you Dick, if the man's not careful, someone else is going to sweep in and knock Jamie off her feet."

"Oh I don't know about that Nix, she seemed pretty head over heels when it comes to Ron."

"Oh no, you should've seen the way he pulled away from her on the way back from England, then on the road while I was saying good-bye to Shauna, he stood there, looked right at her and turned away without so much as a wave or anything. No sir, there is one thing I know and that's women, she's not going to tolerate that kind of treatment for much longer."

Ron slowly backed into the woods and headed back to his part of the line, the letter in his pocket undelivered. Could Nixon have been right? Could she not want to put up with him withdrawing? Worse yet, was she really depressed because he'd not said good-bye? All these thoughts ran through his head on the way back to Dog Company, and by the time he dropped back into his foxhole, he had more questions than answers. Maybe he should try to get off the line to see her? Whatever other thoughts might have formed were destroyed as the first artillery shell from the Germans hit.

xxxxxxxxxx

_ "Pump more adrenaline; we've almost got her heart started again."_

_ "Damn it Doc open your eyes, too many people counting on you. Shock her again, we're losing her."_

_ "Come on Doc fight, you can't go out like this, Shauna will break our legs. Okay I think we've got the bleeding under control."_

_ "Jamie please, open your eyes. You can make it baby, you're stronger than this. Jamie…Jamie…"_

The voice in the dream was fading away only to be replaced by a more insistent voice. "Jamie, come on sweetie, we've got wounded coming in."

Rolling over she bumped against Shauna who was sitting on the edge of the cot. "Wounded? Oh yeah, Bastogne, okay let me stand up." Pushing to her feet, she swayed for a moment and then steadied herself, rubbing the last of the sleep from her eyes. Moving silently alongside Shauna they didn't make it into the church before the yells for help came from the numerous jeeps pulling into the courtyard.

****

_December 24th_

The dream continued to haunt her. To be honest she wasn't completely sure it had been a dream; maybe she really wasn't dead in her time, but in a coma. The dreams if that's what they were, seemed too real. Sighing she glanced back at Renee who was bandaging a soldiers wound. Gene had been in yesterday day to pick up supplies and the two of them had the chance to actually sit down and talk. From the smile on Renee's face, it must have been a good conversation.

"Hey what are you staring at?" 

Dropping the pair of scissors, she was holding she jumped around to find Shauna smirking and holding something in her hand. "Christ, would you please make some noise or something; you nearly gave me a heart attack. As for what I was staring at, nothing really just thinking about Renee and Gene."

Shauna smiled and stepped closer to Jamie's side. "Well I have to admit, you did a good job hooking those two up. They were really enjoying each other's company yesterday day and to be honest, the way Gene looks at her…yeah I think he's falling in love." Holding up her hand, she showed Jamie the flask she was holding. "I have a little Christmas present from Nixon and I thought the three of us, could head upstairs and celebrate Christmas Eve."

Jamie grinned, "you head on up, I'll get Renee." Walking over she waited until the nurse finished and then grabbed her arm. "Okay you're coming with me, even saints need a break and well Shauna's waiting for us outside."

Renee was ahead of her on the stairs when a medic called her name. "Go ahead I'll be up in a minute and tell Shauna there better be something left when I get there." Turning she only made it two steps when the world around her collapsed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shauna stepped away from the building to look up at the sky. She could hear the planes overhead but couldn't see them. When the explosion came from behind her, she was knocked to the ground. Feeling the ground shake and more explosions around her, she lay where she was, desperately trying to make herself invisible in the middle of the street.

As quickly as it had started, it stopped, the night now eerily silent except for the sound of fires burning around her. Pushing to her knees, she felt wetness on her face and rubbing a hand across her cheek, it came away covered in blood. Easing her hand higher, she found the laceration across her forehead near her hairline. It didn't appear to be very deep and the bleeding had slowed.

Getting to her feet she turned to head back into the church only to stop dead when she saw the entrance was demolished, the smoke still rising from the crumbled building. Walking slowly toward the now crumbled entrance, she felt the cold sting of fear creep up her spine. She could see the pale outline of a hand and suddenly found her feet frozen in place. She couldn't go closer; she knew that hand either belonged to Renee or Jamie. They'd been coming up the stairs to meet her, if they had only been a little faster, or possibly slower they'd still be alive. Turning away from the building she pushed aside her pain, she couldn't face it, she had to get away. After all, who could be expected to dig out their best friend's body? Lew would know what to do; all she had to do was get back to Easy.


	14. Chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 14

_The constant beeping was driving her mad, the sound of the heart monitor beeping out its sound should have reassured her, but it didn't. She was so close to opening her eyes, but something kept her from it. Could it be the heaviness pressing down on her chest, or the pain that while receded still beat a steady tattoo on her body?_

_ She tried to turn her head, move her hands anything to let the person who was next to the bed know she was aware of them. Shauna was there beside her. She felt the hand holding hers, the soft caress of fingers against her skin, now if she could only open her eyes. She wanted to wake up, the dreams she was having inside this coma were disturbing…was she in a coma? Or was the dream she thought she was having the reality?_

_ Bright light hit her face, the pressure on her chest seemed to increase, beside her the heart monitor continued the slow steady beeps._

xxxxxxxxx

He'd put it off as long as he could, there was no way to get around going to the battalion CP to turn in the patrol report. Sighing he lit another cigarette and stood in the edge of the trees watching. It appeared someone else was with them and whoever was there was getting a lot of attention from both Nixon and Winters. Finishing the cigarette, he tossed it to the side and headed closer.

Stepping inside the tent, he was surprised to Shauna wrapped in a blanket, the white bandage on her head standing out clearly in the fading light. "Uh, here's the patrol report, what's she doing here?"

Winters glanced at Nixon who'd come to his feet, "Nix, maybe you should take Shauna and wait somewhere else for a few minutes."

"Oh no, Shauna's just fine where she is and well let me just say, as sick as this is I'm going to enjoy telling him. You want to know why Shauna is here? Well she's here because the hospital in Bastogne is gone. Gone as in destroyed, no longer exist." Nixon took that moment to pause and watch Ron's face.

Ron glanced around the tent and then back to where he spotted Roe getting in a jeep. Something was wrong, Nixon was pissed, Shauna looked dazed and where was Jamie, he'd have expected her to be with them. "Okay, so obviously everyone seems to know something that I don't, so why not just let me in on it."

Nixon's smile was anything but warm, "okay I'll tell you. Jamie was killed, she was still inside the building when it was bombed, though why you would even care is beyond me. You were responsible for the last two weeks of her life being miserable. You couldn't even lower yourself to say good-bye to her; much less tell her how you felt."

The world had frozen in time and his brain slowly began to catch up with the words Nixon had spoken. She couldn't be dead; they had too much left between them undone. "I don't understand, are you sure she's dead?"

This time Shauna spoke, her voice low and pain filled. "I'm sure. She and Renee were coming up to share the flask with me a-and the p-planes. I saw one of their hands, I couldn't…you don't understand…" Nixon sat back down on the next to her and pulled her into his arms letting her tears soak his skin.

Glaring up at Ron, he shook his head, "you're a fool. The woman loved you for whatever the reason and all she ever wanted from you was one small demonstration of your feelings."

The numbness that had covered his brain quickly evaporated to be replaced by seething anger. "How dare you talk to me this way? I loved her and you have no idea how I felt then or now, but you sure can stand in judgment."

"I don't have to ask or care about your feelings, if Shauna wasn't so upset I'd have her tell you how Jamie was feeling and acting before she died. Just remember this, she died thinking you didn't care, much less love her. Live with that and if God even grants you some small mercy to ever be given such a gift again in your life, maybe you won't waste it." Nixon ignored Ron and turned to Dick, "I'm going to take Shauna to the fox hole and try to get her to sleep. I'll make my rounds once she'd asleep."

Dick nodded and remained silent as Nixon and Shauna left, leaving him alone with Ron. "Don't take what Nix said too hard, he's just upset because Shauna is upset. Look I have a runner heading into Bastogne would you like to ride along?"

Ron slowly turned his head to look at Dick, part of him wanted to lash out and demand why the hell he'd want to go to Bastogne for, but then the very slim possibility that it wouldn't be her came to mind. "Yeah, I think I would. Thanks."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gene slowly stepped from the jeep and surveyed the devastation of the hospital. Shauna had been right, the entire entrance was collapse and even from this distance, he could see the pale skin reaching from the rubble that surrounded it. Slowly moving forward he approached that lone hand, he had to know whom it belonged to.

Bending down a small patch of blue material caught his eye. Picking it up he caressed the material between his fingers, thinking about the last time he'd seen it.

_Her voice was full of anger and bitterness, every word she spoke reflected the deep pain she felt in her soul. The blue scarf twisted tightly between her hands in frustration, "I never want to treat another wounded man again…this is no gift, God would never give anything so painful…"_

Lifting the scarf to his nose, he could almost smell the soft sent of her hair. Shauna wasn't the only one hurting tonight, but no one knew of his pain. Jamie had brought him and Renee together and now both women that he cared so much for were gone, leaving an empty void that would be filled only with more death and destruction.

The sound of boards shifting against stone drew his attention. The sound had come from further inside the church, as if someone was trying to dig out. He tried to peer into the darkness and when the sound didn't return he wrote it off to dreaming on his part. That or the other soldiers had found a way through the back and were looking for any survivors.

Standing he turned toward the jeep, there was nothing left here so he needed to get moving back to the line, where there were still people he could help. He'd only taken a few steps when a hoarse voice called his name. "Gene?"

Turning he saw the lone figure leaning heavily against the still intact wall. The dirt and dust covering every inch of her body was intermingled with blood and sweat. Stepping toward her he reached his hand out to touch her, "Jamie, is that you?" She took a few tentative steps away from the wall and Gene saw her knees crumple and rushed forward to catch her in his arms easing her to the ground.

When she felt the ground beneath her and arms around her she looked up, her eyes dazed, "I'm not sure what happened, I was going to meet Shauna then the stairs collapsed." Closing her eyes she let him support her weight, her body aching and for some reason, her eyes just wouldn't stay open.

Gene cupped her face between his hands, his thumbs gently tried to brush off some of the dust and blood. He couldn't believe she was alive, "Jamie, baby come on open your eyes for me. I need you to stay awake."

The voice was calling her, she knew who it was didn't she? Forcing her eyes to open again she tried to focus on the face above her, the hands cupping her face were gentle and caring, the dark hair and eyes…Ron. Tentatively reaching up she caressed the side of his face, "I never thought I'd see you again. I thought you didn't care, I thought you didn't love me." The tears began to roll down her cheeks, leaving their tracks in the dust covering her. "Please, just show me how you feel, then I can let go."

Gene shifted one of his hands to the back of her neck to try to stabilize her head while he used the other hand to wipe the tears from her face. His eyes quickly scanned her face searching for wounds worse than those he could see. Running his hand into her thick black hair, he finally felt what he was searching for, the lump on the side of her head. That would explain why she was confusing him with someone else. He needed her to stay awake, to focus on the here and now, so taking a chance he played the role. "Okay just tell me what I need to do to show you, you're gonna be fine, we'll get you back to Easy."

Her finger slowly traced the outline of his lips and the frown appeared between her eyes, "kiss me. That's all I want, just for you to kiss me. Then I can go."

Leaning down Gene closed the distance between them, his hand still wrapped in her hair. From the moment his lips touched hers, he only meant for it to be a short kiss, but she was determined, her hand wrapping tightly in his jacket pulling him closer to her, her tongue stroking against his. He lost time of how long they stayed like that, until the soft sigh broke them apart. When he opened his eyes and looked down to see her eyes were closed, but a smile graced her lips.

Bending further, he slid his hands under her knees and picked her up, "Lieutenant Speirs is a lucky man, because baby, you can kiss."

xxxxxxxxxx

He was only a few moments behind Roe and when he saw the man kneel and pick something up. Whatever Roe had found was having a deep impact on him and it confirmed Ron's worst fears, she really was gone. Shaking he head, he made the decision to wait for Roe to leave then he'd find a way inside, he had to see her for himself, otherwise he could never accept she was gone.

He watched as Roe slowly got to his feet, all his attention focused on the church, almost as if he was searching for something in the dark. Roe then shook his head and turned away, causing Ron to shift on his feet and take a step forward only to stop when movement to his right caught his attention. The figure called out, the voice pain filled and rusty sounding… "Gene?" His breath caught in his chest and he had to rest his arms on the jeep beside him, the relief at finding her caused him to feel weak in the knees.

As quickly, as the relief had surged through his body, the need to touch her and hold her overwhelmed him and as he walked toward them, he saw Roe cup her face gently in his hands his thumbs caressed her skin. Then he shifted his hands to hold her head and dig his other into her thick black hair. Freezing he watched the gentle scene between them, anger surging through is body, no one had the right to touch her except him.

He drew a deep breath and slowly released it trying to gain some level of control, only to have it replaced with a sickness that curled in his stomach. They were staring deeply into each other's eyes, and when Roe began to lean toward her and Jamie's hand twisted in his uniform jacket pulling them closer, Ron tried to look away. He knew if he stood and watched this that he wouldn't be responsible for his actions. Yet, he didn't look away, he watched another man kiss the woman he loved. When their lips separated and Roe bent to pick her up Ron stepped behind some rubble as they moved toward the waiting jeep.

For the first time in a long time, he didn't know what he was feeling, part of him was happy she was alive, and then another part wanted to kill Roe for ever thinking he could touch yet and then finally came the sadness. The words Nixon had uttered to Dick not that long ago had come true; he screwed up and another man had swept in and stolen her from him. Now the bigger question was did he accept that she was lost to him or fight to get her back? Staring off into the darkness, he let his mind wander and when the decision came to him, he let the anger rise in him. She was mistaken if he'd ever let something that he considered his just walk away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Her head was pounding and there wasn't an inch of her body that didn't hurt. She tried to turn her head away from the hand that was gently caressing her face, only to have the hand stop her movement. No one spoke to her and to be honest she was too afraid to open her eyes. If the pounding in her skull was this bad, she could only imagine what he would be when she had to focus on something.

Relaxing back into the pillow she felt the hand release her chin and the gently brushes of a damp cloth resumed. Had she been ill? Trying to think only increased the pounding in her brain so she tried to focus only on the gently touches. She was in a bed or cot possibly, she could hear voices, and noises moving around her, in fact it sounded like she was in a hospital.

_"Come on; take a break, even saints need to rest…"_

_ "Nurse, I need a nurse here."_

_ "Damn, okay Renee you go on I'll deal with this, but you tell Shauna there better be some left for me when I get there." She'd only taken a couple of steps when there was suddenly nothing under her…_

Her eyes popped open and the person who'd been cleaning her face jumped back in shock, a small squeak accompanying the jump. "Oh my, you're awake, okay well stay here let me get him."

Slowly she moved her hand up to touch her head and immediately met with the large lump that had formed on the side of her head. Wince she took her hand away and listened to boot coming closer, when Gene rounded the corner she managed to give him a smile. "So how bad did I hurt myself when I fell down the stairs?"

Gene's smile slipped and a look of confusion replaced it. "I don't understand Jamie; you didn't fall down the stairs. What's the last thing you remember?"

"Uh, I was heading up the stairs with Renee and a medic called for one of us, I told her I'd go and to go on without me, I took about two steps back down the stairs and then stepped into nothing. Gene, if I didn't fall, what happened, you're starting to scare me?"

"It wasn't a fall, the Luftwaffe bombed Bastogne and the aid station took a direct hit, Renee was killed and honestly until late last night, I…we thought you were dead as well. I found you wandering around dazed and confused…wait you don't remember anything?"

She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. Renee was dead and if not for just a lucky chance, she'd have died as well. Clearing her throat, she managed to ask about Shauna.

"Oh she's fine; out on the line with Nixon, I sent word that you were okay and I had you here and would stay. When the doctor releases you, I figure you'd want to head out as well."

"Yeah that will be fine, how long have I been here?"

"Just a couple of days, look there is something I need to tell you, the night I found you, well we kind of…"

"Hey Doc I just heard she's awake can I see her?"

Both of them turned to see Dick smiling. Roe nodded, "sure sir, what we were talking about can wait. I'll be out front if you need me."

Dick nodded as Roe passed and then took his seat next to the bed. "So how are you feeling?"

"Confused, sore and I guess I'm ready to go when they give me the all clear."

Dick nodded, "yeah well I thought I would come in and see you, I was happy when Ron came and told me you were alive?"

"Ron? Ron was in Bastogne when Gene found me?"

"Yeah, he'd hopped a ride with the battalion runner and said he saw you and Gene together and that you were alive. You never saw him?"

"I was unconscious and Gene hadn't mentioned him being there. Typical, gets what he wants and leaves. I don't know why he even bothered." She turned her head away Dick. Every time she thought she was dealing with her feelings for Ron something else crept up, sighing she rubbed her forehead, "uh you know Dick I'm kind of tired, can we talk later."

She didn't see the frown that crossed his face, but did hear the frustration in his voice. "Sure, no problem, but I think you're wrong about Ron, he…well he was pretty shaken when he came back."

"Okay, sure I'll talk to you later Dick." When she didn't sense or hear him any more she turned her head forward to look at the ceiling of the tent. Dick didn't understand, Gene was the only one who came close and she wasn't completely sure he did. Ron had broken her heart after England, she'd come here with the thoughts that all she had to do was change her death and it would be 'happy ever after' yet he pushed her away at every turn. Then when he realized she was alive, he'd made no effort to see her, why was that?

She sensed Gene's presence even before he spoke and beat him to it. "Okay what happened the night you found me? Dick told me Ron was there, did you see him?"

"No I never saw him. Look what I was about to tell you is that we…"

She waved her hand, "I don't care Gene. Whatever was done or was said it doesn't matter. Something bad is coming and I'm now wondering if me dying in that church wouldn't have been better for all of us."

Gene shook his head, "no it wouldn't have been. I promise you we are going to find out before it's too late and we'll fix things."

Closing her eyes, she nodded her head. She didn't think so, because she'd never told him the details of being pregnant, but when she died, she was four months pregnant, further along than anyone suspected. It would be January in just a few days, which meant she would die in May, five months to live. Realizing the only chance she might have to change things was to avoid Ron, she was going to have to do that no matter the cost.


	15. Chapter 15

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 15

She sat silently staring down at the town of Foy. Gene and Shauna had fawned over her until she finally screamed at both of them to leave her alone. Her body still ached and looking down at her hands, she realized how terrible she probably looked. Three fingernails had been broken off into the nail bed, scratches and bruises marred every inch of her body. Yet not one step had Ron made to see her.

Closing her eyes for just a moment she felt the pounding in her head ease when she didn't have to focus on anything. She'd given a lot of thought to the idea that in her former life, or at least that was what she was calling it, she would have never considered suicide. She'd seen too many people come into the ER half alive from failed attempts. Rubbing her forehead she thought of her options in this life. She knew she was going to die of a gunshot wound to the chest, did she really want to just let time slip away until that happened? After all, up to this point she'd been unable to change anything, why not get it over with?

The conversation she'd had with future Shauna replayed in her mind.

_"You mean to tell me you'd never consider suicide? Come on Jamie, what if you found out you had a terminal disease and it was going to be a painful death, wouldn't you consider it then? _

_ She'd only shrugged, "I don't think so, I mean I've seen too many people try to kill themselves in so many ways only to arrive in the ER and I drag them back to the living. No, once you've seen the pain and devastation in their eyes…I think I'll just go the natural way, painful or not."_

Opening her eyes she looked down on the town and smiled, she had no idea why she hadn't thought about that before. This was so simple, like suicide by police, all she had to do was walk around when the Germans shelled or better yet when they invaded, and it was almost too simple. She also had the added bonus of medicine not being what it would be in future, if she played her cards right there was no way she would be saved.

_Are you sure, that's what you want? You love him and yet you're willing to throw it all away? Fight for it, fight for the baby not yet here._

Pressing her fingers against her temples she growled, "God would you please shut up."

"I've not said anything yet." Gene slid in beside her. "Hey we've never talked about what happened the night I found you and well I feel like you need to know."

"It doesn't matter Gene, but if it'll make you feel better, go ahead and tell me."

"Well, you kissed me and I kind of kissed you back. But in your defense you didn't know it was me you thought it was…"

"Ron. I thought you were him. Jesus, I'm sorry Gene, sorry I put you in that position."

Gene gave her a smirk, "yeah well, I didn't mind all that much and I must say, even half out of it…you're a hell of a kisser so the pleasure was all mine."

She chuckled and leaned into him. "I've been thinking Gene, maybe I should have died. I think it might have been better. I don't know if I'm strong enough to face what I know is coming. I still don't know what went wrong, and hell I'm not even sure how we got where we did? I mean he won't even come to see me."

Gene glanced down at her and reached a hand up to caress her face. "You just think he hasn't, I know for a fact he came to the aid station, I saw him. He sat beside you for an hour, brushed your hair, kissed each of the fingers where you were hurt. Honestly, I'm not sure what goes wrong, but he does love you." Gene continued to stroke her cheek. He could see the pain etched in her face.

"Then why can't he say it? Hell I would just be happy with a smile, a stroke of his hand; instead he waits for me to be unconscious then decides to see me. I just want to know what I do that is so wrong it ruins everything." She sighed and moved away from him to drop her head on her knees, "I've been thinking about a couple of things… but any way, so what's doing for tomorrow?"

Gene nodded to the town they sat looking at, "they are going into the town tomorrow or the next day, so you know there will be problems."

Turning her face away from Gene she nodded, yes, there would be problems, but then again it might be a solution to hers.

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She spent the better part of the morning walking around talking to people. It beat sitting in her foxhole either watching Foy or contemplating her own death. She was so lost in her own morbid thought that when a hand grabbed her arm she actually gave a little scream.

"Whoa, calm down doll. I called your name, didn't you hear me?"

"No Bill I didn't hear you or I wouldn't have screamed." Realizing her words sounded angry she patted his hand, "sorry, guess I'm still a little on edge. Did you need to see me?"

Bill smirked, "nah just saw you wandering around and wanted to talk to ya. I've not had a chance to since you got back and well I just wanted you to know I was real happy nothing didn't happen to ya."

She laughed, "well me too Bill, well other than some cuts and bruises and a lump on the side of my head, other than that I'm doing just fine."

"Yeah? Well why don't you come over and spend some time with me a Malark."

Nodding her head, she walked behind him to where Malarkey was cutting up more branches. "Hey Malark, look who I found."

"Hey, a pretty lady. You didn't happen to see any more out there did you Bill? Or were you planning on share this one with me?"

Jamie laughed, "you two are really funny. There will be no sharing of me and well sorry Don, I did meet Bill first."

Bill put his arm around her, "see now that's the spirit. When we get off the line I'll take you…"

The artillery shells that began to rain down on them cut off his words. Bill gave her a hard shove and then he and Don followed her into the hole, both men trying to cover her body with theirs. Her entire body was trembling underneath Bill. She hadn't realized how terrified she'd become of the sound. She had lost track of time and when the shelling stopped all she could hear was, Bill's breathing.

From across the line the cries to stay down reigned as Lipton and Buck tried to make their way between foxholes checking on people. Bill slowly lifted his weight from her, "you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good, how about you Don?"

"Fine, hey you hear that?"

All of them stood still listening, holding their breaths in attempt to aid the silence. Don shook his head, "sounds like someone's hurt."

Beside her Bill shook his head, "that's what they want you to think, draw you out in the open."

Reaching down she grabbed her aid bag, "no Bill that is someone it almost sounds like Joe, I think he needs help." Putting her hands on the edge of the foxhole, she started to push herself out only to have Bill grab her arm.

"No you stay here with Malarkey, if I need you, I'll call."

Before she could stop him, he was gone. Turning to Don, she shook her head, "he should have let me go, I've got a bad feeling about this. I'm going; he's going to need me."

Don grabbed her arm and pulled her to him, "no you're going to stay here. You heard Bill, if he needs you, he'll call."

She started to struggle against him, but stopped immediately as the shelling began again, with more intensity. Turning her head so her mouth was near his ear, "do you think they're okay?"

"Don't know, but Bill's smart, he'll keep them safe."

When the shelling stopped, there wasn't the normal silence that accompanied it. The screams for medic radiated from so many directions that she actually stood and stared at Don for a moment, trying to figure out which way to turn first. Yet the one cry for a medic set it apart from the rest. The cry was wretched from the soul, not from someone who was wounded but from someone who'd seen the damage.

Pushing out of the foxhole, she didn't hesitate but headed immediately to the cry she'd just heard. When she broke into the small clearing, she could see why that almost inhuman cry had come. Bill and Joe were both lying within mere feet of one another, Joe completely missing his let and Bill, missing the better part of his calf, leaving the boot and bone intact.

She slid in beside Joe and quickly twisted a tourniquet around his thigh and inserted a shot of morphine. Shaking her head, she passed Joe off to Gene and scooted over to Bill, mumbling under her breath.

Bill was in pain, but listening to the nonsense Jamie was muttering gave him something else to focus on. Her words weren't making any sense, how could she think she was useless, she was there treating him? Then when she began to mumble about not changing anything, he grabbed her hand. "Doll what are you mumbling about?"

When she looked up her eyes were dazed and sad, "Bill I'm so sorry that I couldn't change this, I couldn't stop anything. What good am I?"

Before he could speak, two medics were there and Jamie moved out of the way and when they loaded him on the stretcher he lost focus, the pain radiating though his body erased all thoughts of what Jamie was talking about.

Jamie watched as they carried Joe and Bill off. She'd meant what she said, she should have gone instead of Bill, and then he would have been with Don and wouldn't have lost his leg. Leaving her aid bag where she'd dropped it she headed back into the woods, not really seeing where she was going, but needing to get as far away from that clearing as possible.

Gene had travel with Joe and Bill back to the aid station and it was nearly midnight when he returned. Sliding in the foxhole, he nudged Spina, "where's Jamie?"

"Hmm, oh I don't know, I've not seen her since the shelling, why is she not here?" Opening one eye, he glanced around. "Guess not. Check with Lipton."

Pushing his tired body back up he headed to Lipton's foxhole. When he got there, he felt nothing but relief when he saw Jamie curled into Liptons' side asleep. "Hey Lip, she okay?"

"Yeah, I found her wandering around in a daze, pulled her back here and she's been asleep for a while now. You better get some rest Doc, we're going in tomorrow."

Gene nodded, "sure Lip, if you've got her I'll head back and grab a few hours." Gene watched her for a moment before turning away. Something was wrong, she had been acting strangely when they took Bill and Joe away, tomorrow he'd have to find out what was really going on.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Gene had been trying to get her to talk to him for the last hour. She didn't want to talk, her mind was made up, yesterday losing Bill and Joe had convinced her that this was a losing battle. Rubbing her hands together, she glanced across the line, immediately she wished she hadn't. When her eyes met his she couldn't look away and neither could he. They were both frozen; both of them trying to figure out the meaning in the others glance.

Taking a chance, she tried to focus all her feelings about him in that one glance and was rewarded for her efforts with a returned heated gaze. She felt her blood heat under his gaze and the reasons why he hadn't come to see her flew from her mind. Licking her lips, she started to step out of the jeep she'd been sitting in and move when she heard someone yell his name.

He looked to toward the person who'd called him and in that instant the spell was broken and she calmly sat back down in the jeep and watched as he ran to Dick and stood only a brief moment before turning and sprinting down the hill toward the men who'd stalled half way down.

Beside her Gene grabbed her arm drawing her attention back to him. "Hey what was that about?"

"I don't know, but whatever it was…I think it's passed." When a mortar exploded, she turned her head to see him run through it and keep going. Sliding calmly out of the seat she reached back to grab her aid bag to see Gene giving her a shocked look, "what?"

"Oh I don't know, I thought you might be worried about him or something, instead you're standing there like he's taking a walk through a park. What is that all about, don't you care?"

She laughed, "no, Ron lives through this. He lives through the entire war. Maybe you should be more worried about me ending this sooner." Turning, she calmly began the walk down the hill into Foy leaving a shocked Gene behind.

Gene pushed out of the seat and walked over to Winters, tapping him on the arm. "Sir I hate to bother you, but I think when you get the chance you might want to talk to Jamie, she's acting a little strange and she's saying things that have me worried, she might do something thing foolish."

Dick frowned, "like what Doc? I need to have some idea what I'm talking to her about?"

"Sir, just talk to her, I think she might be thinking about doing something foolish over him, something like getting herself killed. Please, just talk to her sir."

Dick nodded and watched Doc head down into Foy. Whatever Jaime had said or done, must have been disturbing to have caused Gene to come to him. He'd talk to her soon, if nothing else just to put Doc's mind at ease.

xxxxxxxxx

When he found her, she was finishing a bandage and passing the soldier off to the other medics to carry up the hill. Moving quickly he grabbed her arm and began to pull her along behind him. When he was a few houses down from where the main group had gathered he opened the door and pulled her inside. The minute the door shut, he pushed her against it, his lips covering hers.

It had been so long since he held her in his arms. The look she'd given him on the hill told him she still wanted him and her hands were digging into his shoulders gave him further encouragement. He had to have her, the need to be inside her drove his actions. Dropping her helmet and his to the ground he dug his hands into her hair and pulled her closer, grinding his erection into her.

Jamie was lost, the minute his lips covered hers she knew this was it. She had to try to fight, and not give in to the passion she felt for him. If she let this happen, she'd be pregnant and there would be no chance to change the future. Pushing against his shoulders, she tried to break away from him, but he quickly broke the kiss and spun her away from him, pressing her against the door, his weight pushing her front harder into the unforgiving wood. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once, and when the cold air caressed the naked skin of her legs, she couldn't believe he'd gotten her pants down that fast. Struggling against him she pleaded, "please Ron, not now and not like this."

She felt his erection brush against her and he pulled her hips back to him, positioning himself at her entrance. "Why not Jamie, you're wet for me, I need you. I've never asked for anything but I need this. I know you deserve better but please…I've got to have you."

His words stirred the long dormant feelings she held for him and when he pushed inside her, the tender flesh stretching to accommodate him, she moaned and dropped her head back against his shoulder. He surged into her harder and fast, she felt the lack of finesse in this touch, everything was about possessing her. Hearing his groan and feeling him pour his seed inside her caused her to close her eyes and the tears began to leak from the corners. This had nothing to do with feeling used; this had to do with losing all hope in changing the future.

His lips brushed against her neck feeling the dampness on her skin he took it as sweat. Withdrawing from her, he pulled her pants up and grabbed his helmet. "I'm sorry to be so fast, but I have to get back." He reached out and pulled the necklace from under her t-shirt, "remember who gave you this, remember who you belong to."

She never opened her eyes until the door closed. Dropping to her knees, she buttoned her pants and sat numb, tears running down her face. She had enjoyed it, having him touch her again, but in the end, he scared her…the comment about her belonging to him? There was something in that comment, something that should make everything so clear, yet she couldn't seem to grasp it.

Wiping her face she had to get back to Easy before they came looking for her. The last thing she would want is for someone to find her like this. Opening the door she paused as the cold shiver passed down her spine. The sound of his voice when he'd said she was his…gasping she realized suddenly what would tear them apart.


	16. Chapter 16

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 16

By the time she'd made it up the hill she'd dried the tears and decided that life was what it was and she needed to get on with living. After all, there was always a chance no matter how slim it might seem.

When she saw them standing together she couldn't help but smile, Shauna and Nixon were the cutest couple and even though she didn't like the fact Lew was still married, she knew they would be together, she just wanted to ensure they were together forever.

However right now she had to draw the attention of the woman who was currently whispering in Nixon's ear. "You know, he does still have a war to fight, so why don't you let the man go?" Her voice held her amusement at the situation and she couldn't help her laughter when they blushed and jumped apart.

Nixon ran his hand through his hair and tried humor to cover his embarrassment, "isn't there some other man you can torture? Wait, I think I can find Speirs around here somewhere?"

She felt the color leave her face and her quick glance at Shauna confirmed that she must look pale. Shauna smiled and patted Lew on the arm, "baby, I think Jaime's right, you do have war to fight and well…I'll see you later." Giving him a kiss on the cheek she stepped away from Lew and wrapped her arm up in Jamie's, "okay, I'm a nurse and I'm sure there is something I should be doing. So take me to the problem."

"Actually there is no problem, I just thought I would tell you that Easy is going to be moving out again soon, and well where are you going to stay?"

Shauna blushed and dunked her head, "oh I think I'm well used at regiment don't you agree?"

"Yeah if that's what you want, and I can understand why you would stay…a man like that makes it hard to walk away." She smiled letting Shauna know that there was nothing hidden in her comments.

Shauna sighed, "well I'm glad you understand and I would be worried about you but I know Gene will take care of you. Hey are you okay, you seem a little off."

"I'm fine, just a little sore still but I'm doing a lot better. Hey when we stop again I'll catch up with you, stay safe." Turning she headed back down the hill to find Gene. Easy would be leaving in the next few hours, she could only wonder at what they would be facing in the upcoming days.

****

_Rechamps, Belgium_

Her eyes were heavy and the singing, warmth of the church, and Gene's voice was putting her to sleep. She'd been trying to listen to him but with him speaking in French to the nun, she didn't understand most of it and chose to sleep instead. They'd been steadily moving for the last few days and other than reading the sign coming into town she wouldn't have known where they were.

She would like to have slept, but with Ron sitting only a few seats away she wanted to watch him while, she could. He looked so tired, the lines around his eyes seemed deeper and his eyes sunken from exhaustion. She knew a few hours of sleep would help that but he'd never listen to her. She clenched her hands together in her lap in an effort to compensate for the desire to run her fingers through his hair. With it damp from sweat, the ends were curling up and made him look so young. But the couple of day's stubble covering his face definitely reminded her he was a man. God she wanted to touch him.

She straightened when he stood and watched as he put on his gear, the disappointment that he was leaving poured through her body. If he'd just look her way and smile that would be enough to let her sleep, even if this would be another night they were apart. Her breath caught when he glanced her way, only to see him turn away and speak with Lipton. When he walked from the church she couldn't hold back the sigh of disappointment.

"Hey you okay?"

Turning her head she smiled at Gene, "sure, just a little tired I guess. So what were you and the sister talking about, if you don't mind me asking?"

He held out his hand containing a grainy photo. "Here is what we were talking about."

Jamie took the photo and held it up in the dim light. "Oh my god, it's Renee. I never knew that she gave you a photo, that's wonderful Gene to always have something to remind you of her."

He took the photo back and put it in his pocket, "yeah that last day we sat outside and talked, she handed it to me. I don't think either of us thought it would end like this. You know, nothing left but a photo."

Jamie grabbed his hand and held it, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Oh Gene, I'd do anything to trade places with her so you could be with her now."

Gene squeezed her hand harder and reached up to pull her head into his lap, stoking his fingers through her hair. When he finally cleared the knot in his throat he spoke the words that only he would hear, "I know you would, thank you for even saying something like that."

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He'd paused at the edge of the door, the disappointment in her face when he'd walked out too much to bear. Part of him wanted to rush back in there and rip her away from Roe, kissing her in front of everyone so there would never be a doubt who she belonged to, yet the dark tortured part of him keep seeing the kiss in Bastogne.

Like a coward he crept to the edge of the wall and listened to their conversation, maybe then he'd understand her feelings or better yet, the medic's feelings. When they began to discuss the photo and another woman he leaned heavily against the wall and felt the weight that had been on his chest since Bastogne lift. Roe had been involved with the nurse that was killed, that was why he and Jamie were so close; Jamie was just trying to make him feel better. He'd almost smiled until he heard her tell Roe she'd trade places with the dead woman just to make him happy.

Frowning he stepped out into the cold night. While he felt better than he had in months, something still bothered him. Did she think so little of herself or them that she wished she'd died? Walking swiftly he made up his mind to go straight to battalion and then back to the church. Tonight Jaime wasn't sleeping with anyone but him and maybe then he could show her what she meant to him.

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The church was silent when he slipped back inside. All the men had stretched out in different parts of the church sleeping on the pews, or leaning up against each other. He moved silently to the last spot he'd seen her sitting in, sure enough she was lying stretched out on her back, her aid bag under her head as a pillow. Smiling he sat down on the edge without touching her and stared down at her.

Two weeks had passed since the bombing of the church and her nails didn't look as red and sore as they had, and most of the bruises on her face had faded. Her black hair falling across her face made her look so pale. Gently he reached out and ran the back of his hand across her cheek, her skin felt like silk against the roughness of his hand. Sighing he smiled when she didn't even move. Standing he bent over and effortlessly picked her up grabbing her bag.

Moving quietly he headed quickly across the street to where he'd found an empty room. It wasn't the best, but it was warm and it did have a bed. A luxury they could both appreciate. Gently laying her on the bed, he made quick work of her boots and covered her while he sat to undo his. He'd have loved to have had nothing between them, feeling the softness of her skin against his body, but it was just too damn cold and with them leaving anytime in the morning, dressed was better.

When he put his arm around her and pulled her close he wanted to laugh as it was the only time she'd moved or made any noise. The soft sigh escaped her lips and brushed across his neck causing him to shiver. "Ron? What's going on?"

Kissing the top of her head he rolled to his back pulling her head to his chest. "Shh, nothing's wrong baby, go back to sleep." He thought she was asleep until he heard her sleep slurred voice.

"I love you, I'm glad you don't hate me anymore."

Looking down at her he saw she was asleep again and all he could do was frown at the ceiling. She thought he hated her? Why would she ever think that? Closing his eyes, he forced himself not to thing about it; he had to sleep and tomorrow would come soon enough.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Who was banging in a church, wasn't that rude or sacrilegious? Sighing she rolled over and found that she was laying in a bed, alone. Frowning she pushed up to her elbows and looked around, now how the hell did she get her, or better yet, how had she managed to take off her boots? Dropping back down she moaned sleepwalking was not a healthy thing to do in a war zone.

The pounding came again and this time a voice joined it, "hey, Captain Speirs says we need to get moving Jamie, you got five minutes, we're heading to the Alsace."

Rolling her head toward the door she pushed up, "okay Lip, I'm moving I'll be there in two." Pulling on her boots she grabbed her bag and helmet from the floor and headed out. Running she quickly found Gene and let the other men pull them up in the trucks.

"So where were you this morning? I was going to look for you but Lip said he knew where you were and that he'd get you."

"Oh I was…well actually I don't know where I was, but it had a bed and I was in it."

Gene gave her a strange look, "yeah and just how did you find that? Wait a better question would be why didn't you share?"

She rubbed her hands together and shrugged, "well I have no idea how I found it because the last think I remember was laying my head in your lap and if I did know how I got there, and I would have shared."

"Yeah well I left you asleep in the church, so I didn't move you, but you were gone when I came back.

Across from them Lipton laughed, "oh I don't think that would have been a real smart idea, you sharing that bed with Doc."

Jamie frowned, "why not Lip, hell Gene deserved to be comfortable too."

"Oh I'm not arguing that we didn't all deserve a nice soft bed, I just don't think there would have been room for three people in there and besides, I don't think Captain Speirs likes to share."

Jamie felt all the blood leave her face and her breathing had turned to gasps. Beside her Gene grabbed her neck and pushed her head down between her knees telling her to breath slowly as his hand rubbing gentle circles on her back. Around her she could hear Lip asking what was wrong and Gene telling him he had no idea. As her breathing slowly returned to normal she waved off Gene and slowly sat up. "You didn't say anything wrong Lip; you just caught me off guard. You're telling me that Ron was with me last night."

"Yeah, he came and carried you out last night, that's why I knew where to find you this morning. Hey is something wrong between the two of you?"

Her and Gene exchanged looks and for the first time since she'd come here she had no idea what the correct answer was.

****

_Hagenau, France _

Between Jamie and Roe, they were able to support Lipton between them and get him into the house that was to be Easy's headquarters. Sitting him down on the couch Jamie pushed Roe toward the door, "go ahead and get set up, I'll stay here and make sure he takes his medicine like a good boy."

In between coughs Lip managed a few words, "hey I'm sitting right here you know."

Jamie shrugged and sat down beside him shoving the thermometer in his mouth, "uh huh, I know. Now be quiet for two minutes. Luz see if you can't find me a blanket."

She turned her attention to taking care of Lipton and ignored everything else. There were men coming and going unloading trucks and she focused on the reading of the thermometer. "Well you're not going to die, but you're really sick Lip, you should have ridden up front yesterday like we told you, instead here you sit." Reaching up she took the blanket from Luz and covered him. "Now take this and drink the coffee."

Lipton smiled but did as he was told while Jamie repacked her bag. He was fascinated that she didn't seem to be in a hurry to escape; obviously she didn't realize that Speirs was in the back.

"Damn it why don't you go in the back and sack out, there's clean sheets for Christ sake."

Lipton waved and nodded at Speirs and quickly directed his attention to the two men standing waiting to speak with him. Lipton explained who they were and what they wanted, but knew Speirs wasn't really paying attention, but staring at Jamie instead.

"Fine, second platoon, Williams I want to talk to you."

Jamie frowned and grabbed her bag patting Lip on the shoulder, "do as he says Lip, you could use the rest." Moving around the couch, she stopped next to him facing Luz. She couldn't look at him, but knew better than to not report to his side. "Alright what did you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to ask if that maybe later you and I could…well I think we need to talk."

She turned her head slowly and faced him. "Really, you think we need to talk and that would be about what? Hmm, would that be you inability to spend a night in my bed, or something of a military matter?" She kept her voice low and controlled when inside she was angry. This was just another example of how he twisted her into knots.

Ron was puzzled; she'd never been cold and controlled with him or anyone else for that matter, what the hell was wrong with her. Reaching down he grabbed her hand, "look all I'm asking for is a little time, that's all."

Jerking her hand away she nodded, "I'll consider it if I have any time." Heading toward the door, she called out a good-bye to Lipton only to run smack into Winters who was heading in the door. Smiling she started to sidestep him and keep going until he grabbed her arm, "wait for me Jamie, I want to talk to you."

Crossing her arms she leaned against the wall and listened as Dick, Lew talked about a patrol that would cross the river tonight, and how he would talk to Speirs later about whom he thought should go. "Captain Speirs, I'll go, they are going to need a medic."

Ron paused for a moment and a look passed across his face and was gone as quickly leaving her to wonder if she saw it at all. "Fine you can go."

Dick held up his hand, "sorry, but I'm changing that she isn't going. Or at least till she and I talk. I'll be back in an hour Speirs, have your list ready." Heading to the door Dick grabbed her hand and pulled her out behind him.

"Hey what is it with all of you men today? First, everyone wants to talk to me and then you start dragging me around what gives? 

Dick dragged her into another building and pushed her down in the chair. "Well you and I are going to talk, Doc wanted me to say something sooner, but you've seemed fine since Bastogne, but now with volunteering it has me confused again."

She held up her hands, "whoa, what are you talking about first. Why would Doc want you to talk to me after Bastogne?"

"Well Doc seemed to think you might be trying to end your life. He said you seemed depressed and oh I don't know it seems kind of silly now doesn't it?"

She forced a smile and laugh, "oh Dick, I was a little sad after the bombing, but I'm fine now, I just volunteered for the patrol because I thought Doc and Spina could use I'm break, I'm not trying to get killed." The voice curled through her mind, whispering one word she knew was true, _liar!_

Dick watched her closely, the intense blue eyes studying every angle of her face and every twitch of her eyes. She had to calmly sit and meet his eyes, knowing that everything depended on him believing her. Finally, she saw him nod, "good, that's good to know, but you can relax, we're not sending any medics. I want you guys here on land if anything goes wrong."

She smiled and stood, "uh I'm free to go now aren't I?"

"Yeah, you are. Don't be mad at Doc, he really cares about you."

Patting his shoulder, she walked out the door and stopped long enough to take a deep breath. This had certainly been an intense morning and the day was far from over. Frowning she headed for the aid station and tried to think of a way to avoid talking to Ron.

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She didn't know how long she'd sat there waiting after they came for Gene. She knew it was bad and he'd told her to stay here and he'd be back soon, the last thing she'd expected to see was him standing at her door looking lost and alone.

"Jackson's dead, there wasn't anything I could do. I'm so tired of saying that. What good is it to be a medic, if I can't save anyone?"

Taking his hand in both of hers, she felt iciness of his fingers and knew he'd tried to wash the blood off in the river. "Come on Gene, let's get you into bed."

Pulling him into his room, she pushed him into a chair, quickly removed his boots, and then went to turn down the bed. Pausing only when he spoke, "why are you doing this for me? Shouldn't you be with the Captain right now?"

Smiling she pulled him to his feet and began to undress him. "Well let me explain why I'm doing this. You're my friend Gene and right now you need me in ways he never will. I don't think I ever told you but I was a doctor in my other life." Seeing the surprise on his face, she nodded and kept talking. "Oh yes, and I don't remember many things, but I do remember patients I lost and how devastating that became over time, how it seemed to wear down your soul like water over rocks. Now I want you to get into this bed and close your eyes. Don't worry I'll stay with you."

Leading him to the bed she didn't even think he'd noticed that she'd stripped him to his boxer. Covering him she crawled into bed beside him and gently ran her fingers through is hair. "Sleep Gene and tomorrow everything will look better."

Closing his eyes, he nodded and wrapped his fingers up with her free hand, letting sleep take him.

When she was sure he was asleep, she crept from the bed and padded across the floor. Slipping quietly out the door she cast a glance back at the bed to make sure she hadn't woke him. Satisfied he was still out, she crept across the hallway and into her room shutting the door gently, never seeing the shadow that had been lurking and watching her movements.

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He was frustrated, and with good reason. He'd told he wanted to talk to her, yet she'd managed to hide from him all day and he'd only caught glimpses of her as they prepared for the patrol. Stopping he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. The patrol had gone badly; yes they had live prisoners at the cost of one of his men. Man? That wasn't the truth; Jackson had been a boy who drowned on his own blood after being hit from shrapnel from his own grenade.

He'd covered almost every house in town and finally Martin had told him that the medics were staying on the first floor of the house next to his own CP. He was only a few steps into the hallway when a door opened and a slim shaft of light escaped along with a definite female form, her hair falling in waves down her back, her slim body clearly outlined in the t-shirt she wore. When she disappeared down the hall, he took a step forward. The slim crack in the door offered him a clear view of the bed and who it contained. Doc Roe was covered to his waist with blankets, his dark hair mussed and his eyes closed.

Ron stepped back against the wall when he heard Jamie's door shut throwing the hallway back into complete darkness. That same darkness surrounded him and like a living creature invaded his heart. The kiss had been one thing that he could wish away as an affirmation of life but this…this was beyond anything he could forget. Every part of him was screaming for him to break the door down and shake her until she told him why, yet he knew he'd know in his own time. Glancing at her door, he walked softly out of the building and back into his own CP slamming the door behind him.

Lipton was still sitting on the couch reading reports when he came in, seeing the man still sitting there angered him further. "I thought I fucking told you to go lay down hours ago. Why is it no on in this company listens to me?"

Lipton eyed Speirs carefully before he answered, "sir, I was lying down and have only been up since the patrol returned. I was waiting to see you and make sure everything was okay. Sir, are you alright?"

Ron's laughter was cold and bitter, "Other than the fact that it feels like my whole life is going to shit? Yeah I'm fine." Turning he left as quickly as he came leaving Lipton sitting on the couch.


	17. Chapter 17

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 17

He had no idea what time it was but the light from outside was brightening the room in degrees. Rubbing his face, he pushed off the bed and decided to head back out to the main room and grab a cup of lukewarm coffee. Anything would beat laying here and not sleeping. Since he'd returned last night he couldn't get vision out of his head, Jamie sneaking back into her room from Roe's. What had happened that he'd lost her? Was he not showing her how he felt?

Taking of cup of the lukewarm bitter substance, he swallowing half the cup and closed his eyes trying to stop the dark twisted feelings that were threatening to not only crushing his soul, but wear down his sanity.

Yet the minute his eyes shut, the sight of her slipping from Roe's room played across his mind. This had to stop, somehow he had to force the image, no, the thought from his brain. He rubbed harder at his temples trying to erase the headache that was pounding hard enough to make his eyes water.

"Ron, are you okay?"

Turning he saw Dick staring at him with a concerned expression and forced himself to maintain the neutral expression. "Yeah, just a little headache, I'll take something for it later, was there something I could do for you?"

He watched as Dick's blue eyes searched his and a pale brow lifted in silent question. Dick's lips pursed together, telling Ron he really didn't believe him, but instead the other man shrugged, "well actually I wanted to let you know it looks like we're going to be here till we're relieved sometime near the end of the month. So you'll be able to get clean uniforms and showers for all the men or for at least a month anyway."

Dick's frown returned and Ron knew his eyes were beginning to water from the pain radiating in his head. "Ron, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah fine, that's good news about uniforms and showers, uh I'll let Lip know, uh I need to ..."

Dick watched him head back down the hall and turned to see Lipton walk out to the couch. "Lip, is there something going on with Speirs?"

"Ah sir, I don't think he got that much sleep last night but don't worry sir, I'll get him to sleep, it'll be okay."

Dick nodded, "yeah well you better, because he's going to implode if you don't."

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Here he was, back where he started and the headache has escalated in just the last few moments. Dropping his boots to the floor, he laid back and covered his eyes with his arm. If he could just get an hour, the pain would recede…or at least that was what he was counting on. He heard the door open quietly and the tread of boots approached the bed. The sound of a glass being sat down seemed to echo in the mostly silent room.

"Sir, I brought you this. Jamie said it would help a headache and I'll make sure you're left alone." Lipton's voice was low, but at the sound of Jamie's name, his headache increased.

He couldn't force himself to speak but used his free hand to wave an acknowledgement and pointed at the windows, forcing out the words, "can you close those?"

He heard Lipton move across the room and then the light that had seeped under his arm, diminished and he was able to lift his arm and look at Lipton. "Thanks." Reaching for the glass, he took the two pills and swallowed the water, groaning as he lay down again. Lipton didn't speak on his way out, but the gently closing of the door told him he was alone again. As his breathing began to even out, he felt the pounding in his head begin to slow until he felt nothing.

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_ The cool wind blew across his body causing him to shiver. Pushing up on his elbows he quickly realized something was wrong. First this wasn't the room he'd just fallen asleep in, second why was he looking a version of himself sitting at the desk. Looking at the himself and Jamie, it was like watching a dream within a dream. _

_ Pushing off the bed, he went to stand next to them and watched as he jerked away from Jamie when she ran her hands down his chest, and leaned in to drop a kiss on his cheek._

_ "What do you want, I'm busy."_

_ He couldn't believe the coldness of his voice and when he looked at Jamie he saw the hurt in reflected in her eyes and how she pulled away from him. He wanted to scream at himself to stop hurting her and to shut the hell up, he was ruining everything. Then he knew, he was nothing more than a ghost and had to watch the scene play out._

_ She pulled away from his gruff response and moved to lean against the desk so she could face him. Her voice was hesitant, but the smile was genuine "well I've been trying to catch you alone for the last few days; I need to tell you something, something that I hope you'll be excited to hear."_

_ When he saw the look in his eyes, he now knew why soldiers were afraid of him, and there was nothing behind them but ice-cold darkness._

_ Beside him, she spoke again, this time the doubt was in her face as well as her voice. "Is everything okay?"_

_ "Fine, get on with it; I've got work to do."_

_ "Okay well, I wasn't sure until a few days ago when Doc Read confirmed it, I'm pregnant. Four months."_

_ He watched as he moved quick and grabbed her arms causing her to cry out in pain. He knew there would be bruises in the shape of his fingers. "You fucking lying whore. Did you think I wouldn't know what you did? Did you think I didn't see what you were doing?"_

_ The hard shove he gave her pushed her into the corner of a desk near the window causing her to cry out again. "What the hell are you talking about?" He saw the fear in her eyes, heard it in her voice. She was terrified of him and at this moment, he knew she had good reason to be. _

_ The sound of boots pacing across the floor echoed in the small room drawing his attention back to him, the anger filled the room like a living creature, yet there was something darker underlying the anger, something that breathed and stretched out, threatening to destroy anything it touched. "Don't play me for a fool you whore. I know…I know everything. So you just expect me to believe what you say, no questions asked. Just like that, you're telling the truth."_

_ He watched as she turned her back to him and faced out the window, the moon reflecting off the water like diamonds glittering in the sun. Her voice was steady but sad when the final question was presented, "have I ever given you reason to doubt me? Wait, I guess the first question I should ask is; you don't believe me?"_

_ The boots stopped their pacing; the silence seemed to breathe in the room like a presence waiting for acknowledgement. Then she heard his cold voice, the one that would utter the word that would shatter their world. "No."_

_ The door slammed shut and he focused on Jamie who had now turned and wiped her eyes. Moving to the door she passed straight through him, her words chilling him, "I couldn't change anything…"_

He fought to wake up, something was horribly wrong, he didn't want to finish this, he had to escape the nightmare that was threatening to strangle him with its overwhelming fear.

_ The jeep pulled to a stop, the two replacements yelling for a medic, he was beside them before he could think. Two people remained in the back; one slumped to the side, dark hair covering their face, another lying in the lap of the slumped soldier, neither of them moving. He wanted to move forward but couldn't, somehow he knew._

_ Suddenly he was holding the body in his arms, the front of the shirt soaked with blood. Lifting his eyes, he took it the peaceful almost translucent skin. The black hair damp and mud covered. There was no breath left in her body, her heart no longer beat. Beside him, Roe was pulling at his arm, telling them they had to save Grant, there was still a chance, but he had to let her go._

_ How could he let her go, leave her laying in the road, their baby…_

Jarring awake with a gasp he bit his lip to stop the scream that threatened to escape his lips. Panting he concentrated on slowly his heart rate. It was only a dream, nothing more, simply a dream brought on by the headache coupled with the pain medication. She was alive; sleeping in her own room everything was fine.

While he tried to convince himself, it was nothing more than a dream; words from the dream floated through his head like clouds, causing him to doubt that it was only a dream, what if it was a warning.

_Doc Read confirmed it, I'm pregnant. Four months._

_ Don't play me for a fool you whore. I know…I know everything_

_ Holding the body in his arms, the front of the shirt soaked with blood_

When the knock came at his bedroom door, he actually jumped. "Yeah what is it?"

"Sir, they need you at battalion, sorry I tried to hold them off I know you've only been asleep a short while."

Rubbing his face, he tried to focus on Lipton's voice. Glancing at his watch he saw only thirty minutes had passed. Sighing he got to his feet. "Let them know I'm on my way." Dragging on his boots, he realized it was better to work than rethink the dream, if that's what it was. Standing he headed for the door and felt a chill pass down his spine. She died in the dream and she was pregnant, what if…no he wasn't going to think about the what ifs, he was going to have her back in his bed and prove to her that he was the only man she would ever need.

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She was going through the motions. Every day felt the same as the one before, they held sick call treated what they could and then took turns sleeping the rest of the afternoon. She couldn't even escape the small area they were in because the Germans like to lob mortars into the town just to keep them on their toes. Sighing she tried to turn her attention back to the paperwork in front of her, only to perk up when she heard the door in the other room open and close. "I'll be right out."

Grabbing her bag, she walked into the other room and gasp in shock when she saw him standing here. "What are you doing here?"

He turned and gave her a smile, "well I wanted to come by and thank you for giving the medicine to Lip, and to let you know I'm feeling much better, in case you wanted to know. I'm just sorry it took me so long to get here and say that."

She relaxed and smiled back, "I'm glad you feel better. Thanks for letting me know. I, uh, have some things in the back…"

He grabbed her hand and pulled her back close to him. "You know, I've wanted to talk to you but we just seem to keep missing each other, would you come by tonight?"

She tried to focus on the words he was saying but his thumb was rubbing slow circles on the inside of her wrist. "Uh, what would we talk about?"

His lips slowly curled into a smirk and his other hand came up to her neck, his fingers lightly stroking her skin. "Well I thought we could start with a conversation about French wine and then move onto topics that might or might not include the firmness of French mattresses." He kept up the slow stroking with his fingers and watched as her eyes began to drift closed and her body slowly leaned toward him. Taking a chance, he leaned in and kissed her cheek and then her jaw, moving his fingers long enough to kiss the smooth column of her neck, nipping at the tender skin just above her collar. When she sighed and laid her hands on his chest, he had to close his eyes for a moment before he could pull away.

When her eyes opened, they were glassy with lust and he couldn't resist a quick kiss to her lips. "So, will you come?"

"Hmm, yeah uh, sure when?"

Leaning in he whispered the words in her ear, "right after dark. I'll leave the door open for you." Sliding his fingers from her neck, he felt a surge of lust go through him as she whimpered at the loss of his finger. Turning he paused at the door. "See you tonight."

He hated to leave her standing there, but he had to win this game. If she really did sleep with Roe, it was going to take all his powers of seduction to woo her back into his bed where she belonged. The dream had bothered him more than he cared to admit and he knew the only way to ensure that it didn't become a reality was to keep her in his bed and by his side.

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She had no idea how long she'd been staring at the closed door until Gene nudged her. "Hey you okay?"

"Uh yeah why?"

"Oh I don't know you were staring at that door like you'd lost something."

She chuckled and brushed past him, "actually I think I have, and it's probably my mind because I'm taking him up on his offer."

"Uh, who's offer? What are you talking about?" 

Dropping behind the desk, she waved her hand, "never mind. How are you feeling?" She'd avoided the topic of Jackson's death and the actions following it for the last week. She knew it took time to recover from a loss and Gene had suffered more than she had. However, she found herself biting back on a laugh as Gene's cheeks took on a rosy glow.

"Oh yeah about that, uh, I guess I should thank you. No one's ever done anything like that for me. I didn't mean to…well I woke up and was only in my boxers and well…I didn't do nothing stupid did I?"

"No Gene, we went to sleep and that's exactly what I meant for you to do. Think nothing of it, no one knows about it except for me and you and I intend to keep it that way."

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_Why are you doing this? Nothing good can come from you going to his room. You know it's going to end in sex and then he's going to push you away. _She growled at her inner voice that she had to admit was making a compelling argument for not going. How many times had she tried and he'd pushed her away, and after all the damage was done. She knew she was pregnant the future was set. Sighing she entered the front room of the CP to find it strangely empty. Frowning she rounded a corner and started down another hallway, seeing a door open half way down.

When she entered the doorway, he was sitting with his back to her, an open bottle of wine on the table and the bed made. Hmm, not exactly, what she'd expected but since it was his show. "Ron."

Turning he gave her a smile and stood walking over to take her hand. "Wow, I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure if you would or not, you looked a little unsure today when I left." Pulling her inside, he shut the door behind her and led her over to a chair close to the fire dropping to his knees in front of. Lift one boot up on his leg, he slowly undid the laces and pulled it off letting it drop to the floor before reaching for the other. "Why don't you pour a glass?"

Reaching for the bottle she poured two glasses and lifted one to take a sip only to moan in pleasure as he rubbed his thumbs into her arch. "Oh my god, that is wonderful. Ron why are you doing this?"

Ron continued to rub her feet and relished every moan that left her lips. Granted the moans made him think of other desires, tonight he wanted to show her that he could concentrate just on her. "What does it feel like I'm doing? Wait I'll answer that, based off the moans I'm hearing I'd say it feels pretty good."

"Mmm, yes it's wonderful, but that's not what I'm asking, why suddenly are you doing this?"

Putting down her feet he spread her legs and pushed between them his lips hovered just over hers, "I want you to feel good, I want to show you that we need to be together."

Her hand caressed her cheek, "you don't have to convince me of anything. I've always know we were to be together. Kiss me Ron."

He hovered for a moment, fighting the desire to caress her mouth with his lips; instead he pushed to his feet and dropped into the chair across from her patting his lap. "Just come sit with me."

Frowning she stood and sat in his lap letting him wrap his arms around her, the quiet broken only by the crackle of the fire. Both of them staring into the fire and drinking their wine. The silence was pleasant yet she waited for him to suggest bed. Instead when the bottle was gone he stood lifting her in his arms and walked her to the bed sitting her on the edge. "Take off what you want and let's get some sleep."

When he turned his back and started taking off his clothes she sighed and stood taking off her clothes, "well I have to admit, this isn't very romantic. I thought the least you could do was undress me before you jumped me."

Crawling into bed she lay on her back and watched him. Ron grinned at her crawling into bed and pulling her close to him. "Look, we need to build some level of trust. Honestly all I want is you in my bed, by my side. Have I told you I love you?"

Lifting on her elbow she looked down at him in shock, "no say it again."

He chuckled and pulled her head back down to his chest. "I love you, now go to sleep woman."


	18. Chapter 18

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 18

_Haganau, France_

She rolled to her side watching him. For two weeks, he'd slowly seduced her without even one sexual act. Every night she'd come to his room, slept in his bed and other than a brief kiss, he'd not tried to have sex. Frowning she wondered if he was no longer interested in that? But when she would wake in the night and feel his hand unconsciously stroke her breast or his hardness press into her leg she knew that wasn't the case. For some reason, Ron had decided to win her over by being nothing more than a sweet man. Groaning low in her throat, she knew she missed the old Ron more than she cared to admit.

After two weeks to say she was frustrated wasn't coming close to describing how she felt. With the dawn still a few hours off and while he lay sleeping by her side, she began to form a plan. One that would end the days of frustration she'd existed in. The first part of this plan began with her waking him up in the most pleasurable way possible. Smirking she looked down his body and focused on that part of his anatomy that was currently covered.

She knew that desperate times called for desperate measures and since they were going to be leaving tomorrow and who knew when they might see the inside of a building again, much less a bed, she had officially become a desperate woman. Besides, if she didn't get some relief from this frustration she wasn't sure anyone having to ride in the truck with her would survive. Reaching out she slowly lowered the blankets to until it rested on the top of his thighs.

Letting her hand slide down his chest she was shocked when he didn't wake, but mumbled in his sleep his hand moving to touch her then going still. She couldn't believe that he slept that soundly, but then again, the man had to be tired. The fatigue and strain lines were just easing from around his eyes and if she had her way, he was about to be even more relaxed.

When her hand bumped against the top of his boxers, she curled her fingers to gently slide underneath them until he encounter the part of him she currently desired most. In sleep, it was soft and warm, but with only a couple of strokes, it came to life and pulsed in her hand, drawing a soft moan from his sleep. Smiling she slid further down into the bed until she was even with his hip, and then slowly extracted him from his boxers.

Giving a glance up at his face, he was still asleep but from the sounds emanating from his throat, he must be having a hell of a dream. She let her hand continue to stroke his length, tightening and releasing as his hips began to move in rhythm with her hand. Knowing the minute she touched him with her mouth he would be awake, she moved quickly, taking as much of his length as she could.

The groaning hiss that left his throat pleased her and when his fingers entwined themselves into her hair, she closed her eyes in pleasure and hummed low in her throat, sending the vibrations through him.

"Oh god, what are you doing Jamie? Not that I'm complaining, but is this what you want?"

Taking her mouth from him, she continued to stroke softly with her hand. "Oh yeah in fact why don't you just lay there and as they say, enjoy the ride."

She watched as he folded his arms behind his head and watched her continue to stroke him. He smirked as she rose to her knees and removed her t-shirt and panties. "Well now that is more like it, I do have permission to touch don't I?"

Bending back over to take him into her mouth, she hummed her answer and relished the feel of his hand gripping her thigh. His fingers slid softly up her leg and softly stroked the area just at the top of her thigh. She was killing him, but he knew that by stroking all the areas except the one she really wanted would make them even.

Growling she pulled away from him and straddled his thighs tugging at his boxers. "You're over dressed and unless you want me to take you like this I suggest you help."

Laughing he lifted his hips and let her pull the boxers off his legs and toss them into a corner. His laughter died in his throat as she straddled his hips again, but this time she lifted her hips and slide down on him, driving him deep inside her. The guttural moans make him grab her hips holding her still.

Closing his eyes, he dug his fingers into her hips in a vain effort to hold off the impending orgasm. Feeling her nails score his chest he hissed and opened his eyes. In that moment, she began to rock her hips. When she leaned her head back, he could feel her hair brushing his thighs. It was as if every part of his skin was hypersensitive to what was happening. Just the soft brush from the tips of her hair nearly sent him over the edge. Focusing one last effort on her, he slid his hand between their joined bodies, pressing against her engorged clit.

The minute she felt his hand press against her she focused on rocking harder against his hand, the added stimulation was almost too much and she felt the tears leak from her eyes as her body, that had been wound too tight, reached for release. Putting her hands behind her and bracing herself on his thighs, she was able to thrust harder against his hand pushing her over the edge.

The minute he felt her nails dig into his thighs he released the hold on his own orgasm and poured himself inside her. Her weight collapsed on his chest, he could feel her heart racing and the dampness of her skin against his. Reaching up he stroked her back with one hand and her hair with the other, whispering his love for her in the pale morning light.

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Gene sat quietly beside her in the back of the truck. He'd watched her come out with Speirs that morning and for the first time in several days she seemed happy and relaxed, but the further down the road the truck went, the same tension that had held sway over her had returned. As she shifted again in the seat beside him and sighed he turned to face her, "okay so you gonna tell me what's wrong or do I need to guess?"

She glanced around at the other men before turning her attention to him. "Do you realize that in just a few days it's going to be March?"

"Okay, yeah but so what?"

Dropping her voice, she leaned in closer to ensure he was the only one who could hear what she said. "Remember I told you I was four months pregnant at the time of my death?"Seeing him nod she continued, "well let's do some math shall we…Foy was January, early January specifically, this is late February. As of today, I can tell you I'm a month pregnant."

Gene dropped back against the railing and stared at his feet thinking. His first instinct was to ask if she was sure, but the lines of tension around her eyes convinced him. "Okay, but you're still not sure that you've not changed the future. Think about it, these past weeks he's spent every free moment with you. A man wouldn't do that unless he was serious."

"I know, I keep telling myself that I really have changed everything and that it's going to be okay."

When she went quiet again he nudged her, "I sense a 'but' there."

"Yeah there's one there…I feel like I've been successful, but there is something still out there that has me uneasy and before you ask I have no idea what it is, but I'm not sure this is going to work out."

Reaching over Gene squeezed her hand. There really wasn't anything he could say that would make her feel better, only time would tell.

_Berchtesgaden, Germany_

Shauna nudged Jamie, "hey wake up, there goes Sink, maybe something is going to happen."

"Uh huh, sure let me know if we're going to move. In fact I'm sitting down; I don't have the energy to stand here anymore."

Shauna frowned as Jamie slid down and dropped her head on her knees closing her eyes. She knew that the last month had been emotionally and physically draining on them all, but there was something that she couldn't put her finger on. Jamie seemed pale and in the mornings was much slower to emerge from the bed.

Shauna sat beside her friend. "You know with everything that's happened, you know Nixon going off to jump and that not turning out so great and then with Landsberg I've missed giving you the best news ever."

Jamie opened one eye and stared at her, "what news?"

Shauna held out her hand and gracing the third finger of her left hand was a small but very intricate ring. Reaching out Jamie grabbed her hand and pulled it in for a closer look, "so did you buy this or can I take this to mean something?"

Growling Shauna pulled her hand back. "Yes it can take it to mean something; Nixon and I are getting married. His wife is divorcing him and when the war is over, well we've decided to make it official. Isn't it wonderful?"

Swallowing hard she forced a smile, "of course it is and I'm really happy for the two of you." _Now if I can just keep it from falling apart you'll live long and happy lives together._

"Hey are you okay Jamie, you seem a little under the weather."

She would have laughed if she could; yep she'd been a little under the weather. Not sleeping and the whole morning sickness bit she could do without. "Well actually I was going to tell you later, but I guess now is as good a time as any. I'm pregnant; I just need to get Doc Read to confirm it."

Shauna squealed and hugged her. "Oh boy, does he know yet?"

"No and I'm going to tell him as soon as I'm sure. Oh wait I think we're moving." She really did intend to tell him, just as soon as they stopped long enough for her to confirm it and find the right time to catch him alone. She just hoped it wouldn't be too much longer.

_Zell Am See, Austria_

When she walked out of the hospital, she was smiling. She'd been right, four months pregnant and all she had to do now was find Ron and tell him. She could almost see the little boy she was convinced she was having, her black hair, Ron's dark eyes and strong jaw. Her step faltered, what if he wasn't happy, what if she'd changed nothing, was she honestly strong enough to go through this? The smile had slipped away and she made a detour toward the aid station where she knew she could find Gene.

Gene was on his way out as she was on her way in and they slammed into each other, "oh well hey there, I was just coming to find you, how'd it go."

Smiling she jumped into his arms and kissed him, "I'm very much pregnant, four months."

"Well for a woman who is unsure of what is about to happen, you seem really excited."

Reaching down she laid her hand on her stomach, which was still flat. "I am happy. I really think that things have changed. I mean Shauna and Nixon are getting married, he's even slowed up on his drinking, the war is ending and we are staying her in this lovely hotel by the lake."

Gene rubbed his hand over his head and gave her a grin, "well I'm glad because when we first arrived here you scared the hell out of us when you saw that lake. I never did ask you, what was the big deal about this?"

She leaned up against the wall and kicked at a rock, "I was a little startled to finally be somewhere I'd only dreamed about. Seeing the lake and then where we were staying, yeah it kind of scared me to be honest."

Looking at her face, he still saw the lines that showed her tension over the situation and decided to change the subject. "So when you gonna tell him?"

Heaving a sigh she nodded, "tonight, I'm going to tell him tonight."

Leaning in Gene gave her another quick kiss, "well good luck. Tell me how it went tomorrow okay?'

She gave a chilling laugh, "oh if it goes badly you're going to be one of the first to know." Pushing off the wall, she headed into the aid station never seeing Ron step out from behind the shed at the edge of the woods.

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She'd lied to him. Everything he'd done to prove to her, to show her how much he loved her and the entire time she'd still been with Roe. Part of him wanted to go in there and demand answers, shake her until she told him the truth and this time he'd know the truth. How long had this been going on behind his back? Worse, no one seemed to care enough to tell him.

Turning he calming walked back to his room. Taking a seat at the desk he stared out over the lake. The rage was barely contained and honestly if she were here with him now he wasn't sure what he would do. Taking a stuttering breath, he knew he had to gain control of his emotions before she finally showed up. There was no way he was going to let her see him this devastated.

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She was late leaving the hospital and the late afternoon rain had finally stopped, allowing the full moon to bathe the damp ground in a soft glow. All around a light fog was beginning to rise, giving an eerie feeling to the normally placid lake. Taking the stairs two at a time, she stopped in front of his door.

Fear began to curl up in the pit of her stomach. That terrified part of her wanted to run away, just leave without ever walking in that room, then it wouldn't matter. She'd just disappear, Shauna would live, and everything would turn out okay. _You don't know that? Have you ever considered that you changing things might make it worse?_

Reaching down she opened the door and stepped inside. The room dimly lit by one lamp on the table he was sitting at; the window reflecting the moonlight off the water. Everything was the same as her dream, she only hoped when she touched him that would be different.

Stopping behind him, she ran her hands down his chest and kissed his cheek. When she felt every muscle in his body tighten at her touch she knew in that split instant that nothing had changed.

_ "_What do you want, I'm busy."

She closed her eyes and fought back the tears. Everything was going to play out the same, sighing she pulled away from him and leaned against his desk facing him, forcing herself to smile and met his eyes. The eyes that would never again reflect the warmth and love she had come to enjoy.

"Well I've been trying to catch you alone for the last few days; I need to tell you something, something that I hope you'll be excited to hear."

When she spoke, again she could hear the doubt and pain in her voice, "Is everything okay?"

"Fine, everything is just fine. Get on with it; I've got work to do."

"Okay then." She swallowed hard and quickly forced the words past her lips, already bracing her body for the onslaught of his anger. "Well, I wasn't sure until a few days ago when Doc Read confirmed it, I'm pregnant. Four months."

He stood slowly and grabbed her arms pulling her face within inches of his, his eyes dark as pitch. When he spoke his voice was gravel grating against metal. "Did you enjoy it? Was he better than me does he love you more than I did? Was it fun to keep it from me, to laugh as I worked and groveled at your feet? I don't know why I didn't see it sooner. I should have known you were trouble, nothing but another whore, just like your friend. Ha, at least she was honest about it. Did you think I wouldn't know what you did? Did you think I didn't see what you were doing? Well let me tell you a little secret. I saw you leave Roe's room that night in Haganau, the night Jackson died. Convenient that I slept with you just a few weeks later, timing is everything."

He shoved her away from him causing her to hit the corner table and cry out in pain. He had to clench his hands to stop himself from running to her; still even through all his pain and anger, he couldn't stop caring.

Her face reflected the pain and fear she was feeling, her voice cracking as she spoke, "what the hell are you talking about leaving Roe's room? Yes, I was there, but only to put him to bed, he was devastated over losing another soldier. All I did was put him to bed."

Something about the fear he saw in her eyes gave rise to the ugly dark monster that had always lived inside him. Seeing it as the only way to save himself, he gave the monster free reign. "Don't play me for a fool you whore. I know…I know everything. So you just expect me to believe what you say, no questions asked. Just like that, you're telling the truth. You're completely innocent." He began to pace, freeing the twisting dark thing inside him, the sound of his boots on the floor sending a shiver up his spine, something was familiar about this.

He turned back to see her turn her back on him and face out the window, the moon reflecting off the water like diamonds glittering in the sun almost blinding in it's brilliance. The same unsure feeling went through him.

Her voice was steady but choked with tears; this would be the final words. "Ron what reason have I ever given you to doubt me?" Holding up her head, she gave a chuckle that came out sounding more like a sob. "Wait, I guess a better question would be; do you believe me?"

He stopped pacing; the sudden silence seemed to breathe in the room like a presence waiting for acknowledgement. When his answer came, he didn't even recognize his own voice. "No."

When the door slammed shut, Jamie slowly turned and faced the closed portal. Dropping her hand to her stomach, she sucked back the tears, the tears for the baby boy inside her who would never be born, tears for the love lost. Wiping her eyes, she moved toward the door. In the end she could change nothing, now she had a jeep to catch."


	19. Chapter 19

DISCLAIMER: No disrespect is meant to the real Band of Brothers.

Chapter 19

He had no idea where he was going. A deep darker thing was slowly replacing the anger that had driven him to act and speak; fear. Something about every word and ever move he'd made disturbed him. It was too familiar, like it had happened before or he'd read about it somewhere.

Forcing it away from his thoughts, he headed to the company CP to find Luz and Grant talking over a sheet a paper they held in their hands. Both men jumped to their feet with his sudden arrival. Waving them both back down in the chairs, he headed into the back room where he kept his private stock of alcohol from Berchtesgaden. Grabbing the first thing he came too, he pulled out the stopper and took a healthy drink. He had to fight the cough that was threatening from the liquor burning a path down his throat.

"Uh sir, I'm heading out to replace the men at the check point, do you need me to check back in when I return."

He glanced down at the bottle in his hand. He didn't intend to be able to see anyone tonight. "No, head to bed and I'll see you in the morning."

He heard Grant leave and lifted the bottle back to his lips. What was bothering him? Grant was just going out like normal, but something was off. Slowly he lowered the bottle and headed back into the other room. "Luz, how is Grant getting the men out there?"

"Jeep sir, he's picking them up from in front of battalion. Why? Sir, you okay you look pale?"

Ron felt his heart clench in his chest. He had to stop that jeep before it was too late.

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The tears had dried by the time she made it down to the second floor. Pausing outside the door that was half-way down the hall she knocked and waited. She could hear the giggles inside, their quiet voices and then the door opened, and Shauna was smiling at her. "Hey, what are you doing here; I'd have thought you'd have had that man of yours naked by now."

Giving a sad smile, "you'd have thought that wouldn't you. Look, I need to leave something with you okay?"

"Sure whatever it is no problem." Shauna's smile faded as Jamie reached up and undid the necklace that hadn't left her neck since the day Ron put it on her.

Jamie laid the necklace in her palm and traced her fingers over it smiling. It wasn't really saying good-bye, she'd see it again in sixty years or so. Holding it out by the chain, she dropped it into Shauna's hand. "Look, just hang onto this for me, it won't take long and well I'll be back after it soon. Oh and will you do me another favor, in 1950, don't take any car trips." Turning she walked down the hall leaving Shauna still standing in shock.

Lew came to stand beside Shauna and grabbed her shoulder, "hey what's wrong, was that Jamie."

"Yeah and she gave me her necklace and said she would be back for it. You know I think she hit her head again because she told me not to take any car trips in 1950." Shauna rubbed her head and pushed the door closed leaning against it. "There is something strange going on here Lew and I guarantee you that pig headed idiot is at the heart of it. Damn it give me my clothes, I've got to catch her."

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When she stepped outside, she saw Grant and two replacements standing next to a jeep preparing to leave. Giving one last glance behind her, she called out his name.

"Hey Jamie, what's up. Kind of late for you to be out isn't it."

"Yeah, but you know it's such a nice night, would you mind if I rode out with you guys."

"You sure you want to ride out with us? Well be gone a couple of hours, what's the Captain say about that?"

She snorted, "you know what Grant I don't care what he thinks or says I've got to get out of here for a while. Look all I want to do is ride out with you and then back, what's the big deal?"

Grant shrugged and pointed at the jeep, _"_fine, get in, but remember if I get in dutch with the Captain, you take up for me."

She chuckled and jumped in the back, "oh I don't think you're going to have anything to worry about, trust me, I know these things."

Getting in Grant gave her a strange look over his shoulder and started the jeep. Pulling out they never heard someone shout for them to stop.

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He ran as fast as he could and thought he would catch them. When he rounded the corner she was just getting into the jeep, there was still a chance. Why hadn't he seen it before, that damn dream? That's where he'd seen and heard this before. In the end, the dream had been a warning, a warning that he didn't listen to.

As the jeep started and began to pull away, he screamed her name as well as Grants, neither of them turned and the jeep sped off into the dark night. Gasping for air, he braced his hands on his knees and tried to pull himself together. He'd been too late; he had to do something but what?

"What the hell did you do to her?"

Turning his head, he saw Shauna standing beside him with her hands on her hips looking pissed. "I didn't do anything to her. Why are you attacking me?"

Shauna held up her hand and let the necklace dangle from her fingers, watching his face pale she was relishing his reaction. "Well let me see. I hold in my hand the one thing my friend would have only taken off if she was dead, so you tell me what you did to make her stop at my room and give this to me?"

Ron growled deep in his throat, "I have no idea. Also why are you screaming at me, after all it was your friend screwing Roe and then had the nerve to try and push his baby off as mine."

"You jackass! She never slept with Roe she was in love with you and only you. If you even saw something that gave you any doubt, you should have asked then instead of letting this fester." Running her hand through her hair, she began to pace, "you are such an idiot, you better fix this because it's your baby. She told Doc she thought she was pregnant when we left Haganau."

He turned and looked back down the road where the jeep had gone. If Shauna was right, then the baby could only have been his and he knew exactly when it had happened. Closing his eyes, he turned slowly to leave only to be stopped again, by Shauna's screeching.

"What the hell were you thinking?

He slowly turned to face her again, the sadness of the situation radiated from every fiber in his being. "I'm thinking I've killed her." Without speaking again, he began the long walk back to the CP to wait.

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"So he jumps out of the bushes and pushes his bayonet against the guys throat screaming 'who's side you on.' It was none other than seconds own Wild Bill Guarnere."

She listened as Grant told the story and tried not to tense up. Her time was close and she tried not to let her body tense. It would be better to die at peace. Closing her eyes, she let Grants voice float around her and smiled. She remembered that story; Joe had never let Bill forget. The replacements were eating it up and she had to smile at their rapt attention. They'd missed the war, only to show up for the best duty ever…occupation duty in Austria.

"What the hell is this?"

She opened her eyes to see a three jeeps stopped in the middle of the road, a lone soldier standing over what looked like three bodies. The situation screamed get the hell out, instead Grant was getting out and approaching the soldier. Just like the dream, she counted the scene down in her head, the gunshot jarring her into action.

Before any of them could react, she jumped from the jeep; her sole focus was to help Grant. "No, what the hell are you doing?" She hadn't made it three steps when the sound of a pistol discharging sounded again and the burning pain just off center of her chest had her dropping to her knees.

One of the new soldiers stood over her, his face white as a sheet; she had to make him understand. "Tell him…tell him I'm sorry. You have to get us back to the CP." Pushing to her feet, she managed to climb back into the back of the jeep, waving for the two soldiers to put Grants head in her lap.

As they turned the jeep and sped down the road, she could feel the warm blood from her chest soaking into her uniform, and Grants soaking into her pants. Sighing she dropped her head, she was going to bleed out before they got there, well that wouldn't be so bad, it'd be like going to sleep.

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When the jeep pulled into the courtyard, Ron forced himself to his feet and out the door, the cry for a medic already ringing through the quiet night. He braced his hand against the wall as he looked in the back of the jeep. Her head drooped to the side and he knew Grant's head was in her lap. Moving slowly he stepped to the side of the jeep and reached out to brush the hair away from her face.

When her eyelids twitched, he jerked his hand back in shock. "Jamie baby, talk to me, tell me what you need."

Her voice was so low he had to lean close to hear her words. "Take Grant he needs you more."

"No I'm not leaving you, you're shot. I"ve got to get you help."

Her hand clamped down on his wrist, the show of strength surprising him. "No, I'll be okay, get Grant to the doctor."

When Roe and the others had lifted Grant out on the stretcher, he reached in and pulled Jamie out cuddling her gently to his chest. Looking around him he found Luz, "get upstairs and tell Shauna to get down her, Jamie's been hurt."

Beside him, Roe and the others were loading the stretcher and then Roe stopped beside him. "Let me see sir."

Ron leaned her back just enough to give Roe some room. Reaching into his bag, he grabbed a bandage and pressed it against her chest causing her to moan. "Okay sir, Shauna's coming we got to go, you have to help me."

Ron shook his head, "I can't, and I need to stay with her. I have to tell her I'm sorry."

"Sir, she knows you are. Here's Shauna, we've got to go."

Slowly he released his hold allowing Nixon to pick her up and start for the aid station with Shauna jogging beside him. He could only hope that wouldn't be the last time he saw her.

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In the hours it took to find the surgeon and wait for the operation to be over, he'd gone through all the emotions and was starting over again. Getting into the jeep he managed to drive back to the CP in a state of calm, only giving rise to the anger when he'd pulled to a stop.

Jumping out he marched in to see Talbert and Luz playing cards. The minute he entered that room, the whole thing began to play out as if he was watching a movie of himself. From somewhere far away he heard himself scream at them demanding to know where the man who'd shot Grant and Jamie was. The pistol found it's way into his hand as he entered the room, most of Easy was gathered around the bleeding man in the chair. He had to figure all of them had gotten at least one hit in.

He didn't hear the words he spoke to the man, he only knew his weapon was inches from the man's face and his finger twitched to pull the trigger. Looking at his hand, the shaking of the weapon caused him to jar back into himself and the scene returned to normal. Bending his arm, he noticed the blood on the bottom of the weapon and shrugged, wiping it off on the man's uniform. Glancing at one of the sergeants he growled for them to get the piece of shit out of his sight.

Heading back into the entryway he felt the cold anger leave him only to be replaced by the cold fear that Jamie could be dead.

"Sir, Grant's dead isn't he?"

That hesitantly spoken question gave him paused and he turned to look at Talbert. "Nope. Kraut surgeon says he's going to make it."

"What about Jamie?"

He dropped his eyes to the floor and shook his head, "I don't know. I'm heading to the aid station now." Before the door closed behind him, he heard one of the men tell the suspect that he was lucky Speirs didn't kill him, and that if Jamie was dead, he just might change his mind.

Ron shook his head and picked up his steps. They were right, the man had been lucky, but if Jamie was dead, he wouldn't go back after the soldier, he just might put a bullet into the one person who really was at fault; him.

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"I'm not a doctor Shauna so her not moving is that a good sign or a bad one?"

Shauna looked up at Lew with red eyes. "No it's a bad sign. She's lost a lot of blood. Doc Read says she's in a coma and might never wake up; I guess the good news is the baby is okay. Oh God Lew what will I do without her?" Her voice broke with the thought of never talking to her friend again.

Lew pulled her into his arms and held her while she cried. Looking down into Jamie's pale face, he knew that he'd have more than just Shauna crying when Ron finally showed up. The sound of boots drew his attention as the man himself walked into the aid station and started toward them.

"Shauna, I want you to promise me to stay calm. Getting upset will not do anyone any good, you understand me?"

When she lifted her head and looked at him with question in her eyes he saw the exact moment she heard the boots. Spinning around she bared her teeth in a snarl. "You miserable bastard, I hope to hell you're happy now. She's laying her because of you and so help me I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you from hurting her anymore."

Lew saw Ron flinch with Shauna's words yet Ron's eyes never left Jamie. Lew grabbed Shauna and began to pull her away. "Let him see her and talk to her. He deserves that much."

Shauna growled and poked her finger in Ron's chest. "You've got five minutes, make it count."

When Lew had pulled Shauna away, he pulled the chair next to her; stroking his fingers across her hair, he leaned in to kiss her cheek. "I'm sorry Jamie, I should have believed you. I let my fear of losing you drive you to this. I don't know if you can hear me or not, but if you can, please baby fight for us, fight for our baby. I'm not going to leave you."

"Oh yes you are. She's being moved back to England tomorrow and I'm going with her, so kiss her good bye Ron, you'll never see her again."

Ron exchanged looks with Nixon and then stood glaring at Shauna. "You really think you can keep me away from her? Good luck with that, because she's mine and we were meant to be together."

"You lost your rights to anything when you didn't believe her, now get out of here."

When Ron looked ready to strangle Shauna, Lew stepped between them. "Okay kids, neutral corners. Shauna, you need to calm down this isn't helping anything." Turning to Ron he put his hand on the man's shoulder, "Ron, maybe for now you should go, let the feelings in the room calm. They said she can hear us, so I'm not sure the two people she cares for most fighting is the best right now."

He hesitated then shook his head, "you right Nix. I'll go and try to get to England as soon as I can."

Shauna watched him go and sat down to hold Jamie's hand. She kept her silence but she knew there was no way she was going to let Ronald Speirs ever hurt her friend again.

****

_London, England…3 months later…_

_She felt the hand slowly stroke her hair; the beeping of the heart monitor was slowing. "Oh baby girl, you've fought so hard and I know you're tired. Let go, it's okay." Let go? What was she letting go of? Where was she? Shauna, she had to keep fighting for Shauna._

_ The sound of someone crying permeated the dark fog that seemed to surround her. "Please wake up, it's been so long, three months, you don't want to miss having the baby do you?" Baby? What baby? She hadn't been pregnant, why was Shauna talking about a baby?_

_ "Alright Shauna, we're going to turn off the machines now. I can't tell you how sorry we are; she put up such a fight." The crying was getting louder and the pressure of someone's hand on hers became more tangible. "You know Doc; we always said we'd known each other before. I'll see you again someday." She felt the cool lips brush her forehead, "I love you baby. I'll see you on the other side." _

_ The constant beeping that had plagued her sleep for the last few months stopped. The weight that had been pressing down seemed to lift and she could breathe easier. The light coming through her lids seemed to brighten. It was going to be okay, the choice was no longer hers._

She slowly opened her eyes. The room was quiet and from behind the closed door, she could hear soft mummers of voices, the squeak of shoes walking along tile. Blinking she tried to focus on the room and couldn't. Things were still blurry, almost like a film had formed over her eyes.

When she tried to lift her hand, it seemed to weigh a ton and she quickly gave up, it was to exhausting even to try. Frowning she tried to focus her thoughts; everything seemed a jumble of words and phrases…

_ "I love you baby. Fight for me, fight for our baby…"_

_ "This isn't a good idea Shauna, you should tell him…"_

_ "You need to wake up Jamie…"_

The creaking of the door caused her to pull away from the thoughts racing through her addled brain. The woman who was shutting the door looked like a million dollars. Her clothing and style screamed money, why would someone like that come to see her? For that matter where was here?"

When the woman turned her eyes widened in shock to see Shauna move further into the room, dropping the flowers she was holding when she saw Jamie's eyes focused on her. "Oh my God you awake, okay stay that way I need to get the doctor I'll be right back."

Sighing she closed her eyes and listened to noise and yelling from the hallway, when she heard the rhythmic sound of high heels she forced her eyes open and waited as Shauna burst into the room followed by a man she'd never seen before. "See I told you she was awake. I wasn't making it up."

The man who gripped her wrist and took her pulse reminded her of a kinder version of Col Sink. "Well young lady, how are you feeling?"

"Tired…and confused. Where am I?"

"You're in London and I can see you being confused, we'd almost given up hope of you waking up. You've been in a coma for three months. Blood loss to the extent you had is normally fatal; you certainly have a strong constitution." The doctor nodded and continued his examination in silence. When he was satisfied, he stepped back from the bed and waved Shauna over. "She seems to be doing fine. Now don't you go wearing her out young lady, she needs to rest."

Shauna nodded and grabbed Jamie's hand. "I won't I promise." When the doctor closed the door, Shauna sat in the chair and brushed Jamie's hair away from her face. "Well I'm sure you have questions, what's the last thing you remember?"

Jamie closed her eyes and tried to think, she remembered riding in a jeep, her chest hurting, and a man's voice filled with pain. "I remember a jeep, that's really it. What happened?"

"Well you were shot honey, and lost so much blood you've been in a coma for the last three months. We moved you to London two days after the shooting and you've been here ever since. Lew is here for a few more days and well I'm here too. I wouldn't leave, at least until the baby was born."

"Baby? I'm pregnant?"

"Yeah in fact only three more months to go, I really want to take you back to American and if the doctor says we can we could leave soon and well you'll come home with me and Lew."

"Wait stop, who's the father?"

Shauna smile slid away, "what do you mean who's the father? Honey, Ron is the father, huh, not that it matters all that much, it's not like he's been around."

Then just with those simple words, all the pain and fear washed over her causing her to squeeze her eyes shut. Not opening them, she tried to sound normal, "you know I am really tired can you let me rest for a few hours?"

"Sure sweetie, Lew and I'll be by later tonight." She felt Shauna kiss her forehead and then the door opened and closed.

When she was sure she was, alone she slid a hand up her stomach and felt the strong movement against her hand. Smiling she was filled with joy that the baby had survived and that he or she would be joining her soon. Yet for her happiness, there was overwhelming sadness. Ron hadn't even cared enough to see her once. "Don't worry sweetheart, mama is strong enough to care for us both."

****

_Nixon, New Jersey…2 months later_

Lew stood in the shadows and watched the servants cater to Jamie's every whim. He was surprised how good she looked. The color had returned to her face, she'd gained some of the weight she'd lost, and now within just a few days she'd be giving birth. Taking a drink from his glass he realized that the giving birth without the father ever knowing was what bothered him.

He and Shauna had fought over telling Jamie the truth. Shauna had lied. She'd sent a letter to Ron and told him that Jamie had died not more than a month after arriving in England. Lew had been upset because she didn't even discuss it with him, she just did it. Ron deserved to know that she was alive and that she was having his child. However, Lew knew if he told him, he'd be divorce faster than you could write the word. Shauna had told him that she intended to see that Jamie was never hurt again. If that meant lying, so be it.

"What are you thinking about Lew?" Jamie had snuck up on him and was standing in front of him smiling, her fingers absently tracing her necklace.

"I was thinking about choices my dear and how we all make them for one reason or another and sometimes what seems like the right choice at the time, end up being totally wrong."

Jamie hummed and rubbed her back, "yes I can understand that completely. Would you be referring to any specific choice or just those in choices you've made in general?"

Lew frowned at her and took another drink. "Actually choices my lovely wife made in her attempts to protect a friend."

"Ah, what did she do Lew? I promise that I won't get mad."

"Now see, I know you ladies, you say you won't get mad, but you always do. How do I know I can trust you?" He smirked to protect himself, because inside he was weighing the choice he was about to make.

"Okay then, would it help if I told you I think I'm about to go into labor and getting mad would just speed things up."

The glass he'd been holding crashed to his feet as he lost his grip on it in his effort to grab her. Sweeping her up in his arms he moved quickly for the door telling the maid to find his wife and get her to the hospital immediately.

"Damn it Lew put me down, you're going to hurt yourself."

"Sweetheart, you still don't weigh anything and just let me do this okay, for my piece of mind."

"Well you were going to tell me about choices? Tell me Lew what did Shauna do?"

"Later, you're having a baby; we can talk about this after he gets here."

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"What do you mean you called him? Lewis Nixon I'm going to kill you! He's just going to come here and ruin everything."

Shauna paced back and forth in front of him as he took a swig from his flask. He knew in his heart he'd done the right thing, and well, if he was going to suffer for it, then that was okay too. But Jamie deserved the chance to make her own decision.

Sighing he stood and grabbed her by the arms, "baby I love you, but it should be her decision. Now let's go see her and the boy."

The minute they opened the door Jamie glared at both of them, "you know, voices carry down hallways, so how about telling me what I'm supposed to make a decision about. Oh and keep you voices down I just got him back to sleep."

Shauna poked a finger in Nixon's chest, "you tell her." Flopping down in the chair she held out her arms to receive the baby from Jamie.

"Alright fine, I'll tell her. Jamie, Shauna decided that while you were in a coma that since Ron had hurt you, that she'd just write him a letter telling him you died. That's why he never came to see you. However, he's on his way now. Your decision is whether you want to see him or not." When Lew had finished he exhaled and leaned against the wall. "Damn that feels good to get off my chest."

Jamie turned her attention from Lew to Shauna. "Oh my god, I understand why you'd do that, but damn it Shauna, I love him and that's his son you're holding. Do you realize how…never mind."

Shauna brushed her eyes and stood handing the baby back to Jamie. "I'm sorry; I was just trying to protect you. I hope you'll forgive me." Turning she rushed out of the room leaving a frustrated Jamie behind her.

"Lew talk to her, tell her I do forgive her. Okay too much excitement, I need a nap."

Kissing her forehead and then the baby's Lew gave her a smirk, "so pick out a name yet."

"Yep, but I'm not telling, the father should be the first to know."

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He'd threatened two nurses and four aides on his way to see her. Nothing was going to get between him and his son and that included the temperamental blonde currently blocking Jamie's door. "You need to move, or Nixon is going to need a new wife. I've always regretted not killing you."

She snorted, "no more than I regretted not shooting you. However, Jamie will make her choice about you, I'm not going to lie and say I regret what I did. You deserved it, but I just wanted you to know where we stood." Stepping out of the way, she watched as Ron gave her one last glare and slipped into the hospital room.

The tableside lamp was still on and while Jamie was sound asleep, the bundle in her arms was wiggling, the dark eyes searching the room and focusing on nothing. Reaching down he eased the bundle from her arms and sat down holding his son close. Running a fingertip across the top of his head, he was amazed at how soft the dark hair was; everything about this little boy amazed him. Pride swelled in his chest, his son. Glancing at the bed and the woman sleeping in it, he could only hope that he would soon call her wife.

When the bundle in his arms cooed loudly and reached to grasp his finger he watched Jamie's eyes pop open and all her senses come to full alert. When her eyes landed on him, his heart lightened at the smile on her face.

"Well I see you've met you son. Demanding little beggar, pass him back, I'm sure he's hungry again."

Ron gently passed him back to Jamie and watch in amazement as she opened her gown and pressed the baby to her breast. Reaching out he gently ran his finger over the scar on her chest. "I…I don't know what to say except thank you, for a beautiful son."

She chuckled softly and bent to kiss he hand. "Oh the pleasure was all mine…well with the exception of those last few hours. So do you want to know his name?"

When he nodded she smiled, "Ronald Shawn Williams. What do you think?"

He shook his head, "no there is something not right about that, I would like to change part of that name."

"Oh, well okay, which one didn't you like, Ronald or Shawn?"

"I like them just fine; it's that last one I have a problem with."

Holding her breath, she felt her heart rate increase and tried to control the hope she felt swelling inside her. When his fingers traced the necklace he smirked, "well I see that's back where it belongs."

"Has been for a long time now, so are you going to tell me what you suggest for the last name?"

Leaning down he let his lips brush her softly, "yeah I was always partial to Speirs. What do you think?"

Moving her head to brush her lips along his neck she kissed her way back to his lips. "Oh I think that is the perfect name."


End file.
